Wanting Santana
by glee1504
Summary: Brittany desperately wants Santana to come out, but San isn't ready yet. Which leads to Brittany trying to push San to come out, but instead she pushes San away by making some bad choices. In the meantime Rachel who has had a crush on Santana for a while sees her chance and tries to find a way to San's heart. *Rewritten* Pezberry endgame *I promise to finish the story this time*
1. Love hurts

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee **

**Santana POV**

When I was little, I used to fantasize about the way my life would be in High school. I thought that I would end up being the typical American cheerleader, the popular one at the top of the pyramid. In fact if I would let my imagination run wild, I could see myself at the top of the social ladder with a handsome boyfriend by my side. Preferably the quarterback of the football team, because that's the way a high school fairytale is supposed to be.

Now that I'm actually in my junior year at McKinley High, I can honestly say that some parts of my prediction turned out to be true. I might have been wrong about some things, but that doesn't matter because for the first time in my life I feel truly happy. Maybe it wasn't the enchanting dream that I had pictured myself in, but this is what works for me. It wasn't easy to get here, and become the person I am today. But the most important thing is that I did get here, and not the sacrifices that I needed to make in the past to do so.

Of course my life isn't completely perfect, but perfection is not something I strive for. As long as I'm happy, I don't care about how my life turned out to be. Because I have finally found true love, I have found someone who makes me feel complete. All because I have finally stopped tearing myself down, and I have accepted myself for who I really am. It's what I needed to do, if I wanted to let love in. It's what I needed to do if I wanted to understand and experience what being loved and loving someone means.

It took me so damn long to come to terms with this, but in the end it was all worth it. Now that I have finally found love, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I found love in a place where I would never have considered looking when I was young. So instead of having the nice prince charming I have always dreamt about, and which most girls talk about when they are young, I have found myself a breathtaking princess. Somehow, somewhere, I fell in love with my best friend and there's nothing I could do to change that.

Believe me, it has been no bed of roses coming to terms with this. However if I would get a chance to start all over, I wouldn't change a thing. Because now, I can finally call Brittany my girlfriend. I still don't call her that in public, but even doing that when we're alone is enough for me. At least it is for now, because I know that at some point I will be forced to come out. I can't hide our relationship forever, but now is not the right time since high school is a place where there are too many narrow-minded people if you ask me. Besides, I'm not ready to give up my popularity and ruin my reputation by telling the whole school that I'm a lesbian.

Maybe you think it's foolish that I think that my reputation is one of the most important things in my life right now. But you don't understand how cruel teenagers can be in high school, and I should know since I'm one of them. It's no secret that I like to lash out with vicious words on a daily basis. But sometimes you have to eat or be eaten; it's just the way it is.

People know that they can't mess with me, since I'm not scared of getting my hands a little bit dirty. There's nothing I can do about that, I'm a Latina and I have got a big temper which I sometimes can't control. Trust me, I don't like getting into fights, but sometimes it's what you have to do when you want to protect the ones you love. When they make fun of Brittany, or one of my friends, I need to make sure that they never do it again. So yes, violence might not be the answer, but at least it helps me protect the people I care about. Sometimes it's just a verbal smack down, but that doesn't mean that it hurts those losers any less. Every day is a battle and I'm not planning on losing it.

Anyway, I know that the only thing that's in the way of making my life completely perfect is me. I'm just too damn scared to let everybody see the real me, the real Santana Lopez. I still haven't told anybody that I'm gay yet, except Brittany, Puck and Quinn. Actually I didn't tell Q, but she walked in on me and Brittany, while Britt and I were completely naked, so there was really no point in denying it. Wherefore we decided to tell her everything, how it all started and stuff like that. Even though I didn't expect it, Quinn totally supported Brittany and me. Moreover Puck was actually the first person whom I confessed that I'm gay, and he was one of the only ones who saw me cry about it. He was also the one who helped me accept myself for who I am.

First I hated myself for being a lesbian, because let's face it: life is a lot harder when you are gay. Some people are just too small-minded to see that being gay isn't some kind of disgusting disease. That they are just normal people like everybody else; they just have got a different sexuality. It doesn't change your personality; otherwise everybody would already have known that I'm a lesbian. Which I'm fairly sure that they don't since every guy at McKinley High still flirts with me on a daily basis.

I'm actually mostly scared about telling my parents and my family, even though a part of me thinks that it will be okay. But what if it isn't okay? What if they think that I'm disgusting and that being gay is wrong? What if they hate me and kick me out? I mean, where would I live? Or worse, what if they forbid me to see Brittany and try to make me straight again? So yes, the thing that I fear the most is getting rejected by my parents. I just wouldn't be able to handle that kind of rejection. Being abandoned by the two people who brought me into this world, it's something that would mentally break me. So, I try to postpone telling them as much as I can, even though I'll have to do it someday.

Sometimes it's funny, everybody thinks that I have it all, the popularity, the boys, the looks … And to top it all off, I'm the head cheerleader of our school and the main dancer in my after-school dance class, so most girls envy me. They think that I'm so damn lucky; some might even think I'm living the perfect life. Even though they have got no idea what kind of problems I have got to deal with, and the kind of hate I have felt towards myself. While in the end, all I could do was start accepting myself, because you can't change who you are. No matter how much you would like to be someone else, you can't. So, people at school don't know anything about me, and they shouldn't talk about me like they do. They are always talking trash about me, just because they're jealous of my spot on the pyramid, my body, my so-called 'boyfriend'… It makes me feel like they look up to me or the person they think I am. Therefore, I'm afraid that that will change once everybody finds out that their head cheerleader is gay. I can't lose my spot on the pyramid and become the school's outcast.

As a matter of fact, I truly want to be out. You know, for Brittany, but it still is a really big step for me. She has been trying for months to convince me that nobody will care if I'm gay, bisexual or straight. Just because everybody accepts her for being bisexual, doesn't mean that they will accept me for being gay. She thinks that it won't affect my reputation, but she doesn't realize the kind of heartless society we live in. Right now, I'm the head cheerleader, and everybody respects me. I can't give that up, and fall down to the bottom of the social ladder, which would definitely happen if I would come out.

Brittany never tried to hide the fact that she also likes girls, and surprisingly nobody has ever bullied her for it. Honestly, I think that they don't bully her because she is way too innocent, cute and kind to get bullied. Other than me, I'm just a bitch; it's who I am and what I need to be if I want to maintain my badass reputation. I have said some rather ruthless things to people who didn't deserve it, and I did some horrible things which I partly regret. So if everybody would know that I'm gay, then I'm almost sure that they will use it against me and use it like some kind of sick revenge for the things that I did to them. Or worse, against Brittany since she's my girlfriend. Maybe they would hurt or bully her, to hurt me and I cannot let that happen. I love her too much to let anything bad happen to her.

I already told her that I want to keep our relationship a secret until high school is over. At first, I thought that she was down with that, but these last few weeks she has been giving me this weird vibe. It's like she is always trying to give me some signs that I need to come out as soon as possible. Now I am starting to think that this is becoming a problem in our relationship, like she is slipping away because of it. I don't know what to do, because I really don't want to lose her, I can't let go of her. But I'm also not ready to come out yet, she should understand that.

"Hey San, what are you thinking about? You have been sitting here, in my room for about half an hour, staring at your book without turning the page. So what's on your mind?"

"You"

"That's just cheesy San," she giggles.

"I'm only corny when I'm with you, Britt-Britt," I reply with a wink. Before I can even point at my lips, Brittany already has pushed her lips on mine. And just like every time I kiss her, I feel like I'm home again.

**Brittany POV**

So here I am in my bedroom, lying next to a beautiful and fully naked Santana who has her arms wrapped securely around my waist. You have got no idea, how much I love the cuddling after our 'sexy times'. It's like the best feeling in the world, just the two of us and nobody else. I wish we could stay this way forever, but unfortunately, we also need to face the rest of the world at some point.

When I look to my right, I don't see the mean cheerleader that everybody thinks she is. But I see the girl behind the mask that she hides behind every single day. She's so beautiful, inside and out, and I would give the world to make her realize that. I just want her to love herself like I love her; it's all I could ever wish for. Because when she will truly accept and love who she is, then she can start admitting to everybody that she's gay. Besides, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

I can feel her starting to stir in my arms. So I gently press my lips against her cheek, which makes her eyes flutter open. Now that she has woken up, I whisper in her ear, "How did you sleep, babe?"

"I slept a baby, you really tired me out Britt-Britt," she murmurs.

I wink, "Well I learned from the best."

San gently cups my face and leans in to kiss me on the lips, but right before the kiss she says, "True that."

I kiss her back with the same amount of passion while grabbing the back of her neck to pull her closer. When we both pull back, I decide to try and bring up the subject of coming out since she's in a good mood right now. So I say, "San, have you told your parents yet?"

"Told them what, Britt-Britt?"

I bite my lip before I respond; because I know that this could turn into a big discussion very fast if I don't put it the right way. So, I sigh softly, "About us, do they know that we are a together?"

"No," she utters.

"Is no all you are going to say?" I ask. Come on, she could at least have said something like 'not yet', because she will have to tell them soon. I understand that she doesn't want to tell everybody in Lima or the whole world, but she needs to admit to her parents that we are in love.

"What do you want me to say Brittany?! You know that I'm not ready. At least not yet," Santana says while raising her voice a little. Yelling is something she has been doing a lot lately and I'm kind of sick and tired of it. Why can't she have a normal discussion about this with me? We have to come out of the flannel closet at some point, right? I mean, I'm her girlfriend, she's supposed to talk to me about this. I want to be out soon, and I just want to know if she wants the same, because I can't wait forever.

I snap, "When are you going to be ready, Santana?! Because I don't know how long I want to stay your dirty little secret. Do you even realize how hard it is for me to watch you making out with random guys when you're at a party, just so you can keep your reputation and hide your secret and hide us?! I know that Puck is like a brother to you, and that you don't feel anything for him in that way. But that doesn't make it any easier for me to see him kiss you in public, just because you want to make sure that nobody would suspect that we're together. And it's so damn hard because it's me, I'm the one who should be kissing you whenever and wherever I want, not just when we're all alone."

I look her straight in the eye, and even though I expect her to be mad because I have just confronted her with the truth, she looks rather hurt than angry.

San pleads, "What are you saying, Brittany? Are you breaking up with me? Please don't because you know I love you. I love you more than you'll ever know."

I reassure her, "Of course not, I love you too damn much to let you go. But just know that I can't continue this very much longer. You shouldn't hide who you are Santana, and I don't want to continue being your little secret. I want people to know that we're in love; I want them to know that you're mine. I can't keep on sharing you, just because you're afraid of the reactions and consequences if you would come out. So I'm not breaking up with you Santana, but I need you to come out soon because sometimes love just isn't enough. And I don't want to hide anymore, we have been hiding for over a year and I can't take it anymore. So, you need to start thinking about telling everybody, or at least everybody we love and care about. Because I don't know how much longer I can be with you, if you continue to hide yourself. And the hiding makes me feel like I'm not good enough for you and that you are ashamed of being with me."

I have finally finished my little monologue in which I have poured all of my feelings that I have been bottling up for a long time, and tears are streaming down my face. I'm crying a tiny waterfall and I can't do anything to fight my tears. Hiding our love is hurting me a little bit more each day, and I'm pretty sure that it's going to leave a scar on my heart.

Santana states, "I'm not ashamed of you, don't you ever think that. Okay?" In the meanwhile she is using her thumb to wipe away my tears.

I place my hand on top of hers and I reply, "Okay, and you know that I love you too. But seriously, you need to start thinking about telling your parents and our friends."

Santana starts to gather all of her clothes, and with a small goodbye she leaves my house. As I expected it turned yet into another big discussion very rapidly. I know that she's scared, even more than she would ever admit, but she will feel so much better if she let the people who she loves learn to know who she truly is. It's a big step, but I have been patient for over a year and I have got a feeling that somebody just needs to give her a small push in the right direction. So, if I genuinely love Santana, it should be me who helps her to come out. All I know is that after a year of hiding our relationship, I finally want to be out and proud with my girlfriend. I can't wait forever, because that would literally destroy me from the inside out. I never thought it could hurt so much to love someone.

**A/N: Hi guys, so I know that this isn't the first time that I posted this story. But this time I promise you that I'll finish it. Moreover I've rewritten and added some chapters. Hope you like it. Review please. **

**Also the reason that I reposted this story is because I've figured out that writing is an escape for me. In the past I had no idea that I depended on writing this much. I tried to stop and focus on school, unfortunately that didn't really work out. So far school has been kicking my ass, which is why I've started writing again. I need it to keep me sane. In case you're wondering, I'm in my first year of college and my major is economics.**


	2. The confession

**Rachel POV**

"Hey Rachel, you have been awfully quiet. It's a sleepover, we should be having fun, but you've hardly said anything since I first got here ten minutes ago. So who are you and what did you do to Rachel Berry?" Kurt jokes.

I have no idea how to reply to that, so I just remain silent and shrug my shoulders. Kurt grins and continues, "No seriously, Rach, is something bugging you or is there something you would like to talk about?" he asks.

Okay, this is the moment that I have been trying to avoid. Or maybe I wanted Kurt to notice that I've got something on my mind? I mean, he's right; I have been really quiet since he first got here, which is very out of character for me. Plus I did kind of plan on telling him today. So I guess that now the moment is here, the moment I'm going to talk about it for the very first time. This should be fairly easy because he's my best friend and normally we tell each other everything. But I can't help but be extremely nervous about telling him this particular secret of mine.

I hesitate, "Kurt, I need to confess something. It's something really important and you can't make fun of me if I tell you, okay?"

Kurt rolls his eyes and replies, "If this is about Finn again, then I will make fun of you because it has been five months since he dumped you, Rachel. Five months! So it is definitely time to move on with your life."

I yell, "This isn't about Finn, Kurt!"

I take a deep breath, and I continue, "Actually it is quite the opposite I wanted to talk to you about. I think I have found a new love interest. It's a little complicated, though, and I have no idea what to do. The situation is rather inconvenient to say the least."

All of a sudden Kurt is looking way more serious and interested. He beams, "In that case I'm all ears. So who is he? And do I know him?"

I give in, "Okay, I'll tell you. But you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone else, not even Mercedes. Because I know that you two are always gossiping, and don't even try to deny that because you know it's the truth."

Kurt starts laughing but when he realizes that I am being serious, he immediately stops and turns more earnest. He promises me, "You have my word, but please just tell me because you are starting to freak me out, Rach."

I take another deep breath and a small sigh escapes my lips before I can say, "Actually it isn't a" I quickly swallow the lump that has formed in my throat and confess, "It isn't a guy, it's a girl."

Kurt's jaw drops immediately and he has this weird look on his face. A look of shock, surprise and excitement all in one. "Oh my God, Oh my god, who would have thought that you, Rachel Barbra Berry, are gay?!"

I snarl, "I'm not gay, but if you insist on labeling my sexuality then I would rather describe myself as bisexual or maybe fluid."

Kurt chuckles, "Yeah, I forgot about the whole Finn drama for a moment. You were so heartbroken over him for months, but that's not important right now. So let's cut back to the case, when did you realize you were bisexual? Why didn't you tell me before? And who is this girl that you're crushing on? Do I know her? Are you..."

I decide to cut Kurt off by using my hand to cover his mouth. He intends to start rambling whenever he's excited or nervous about something. In this case, I think that he is both excited and nervous right now which makes the rambling a little bit worse than normal. Plus knowing Kurt, he is probably curious as hell. However, I can't blame him for that; I would be exactly the same if I was him right now. I chuckle, "Relax Kurt, one question at a time. You make it look like an examination, so just keep it low-key and then I will answer all of your questions."

He nods and agrees, "I can be down with that. So first question, have you told your parents about your sexuality?"

"Yes, I have indeed told my parents and they totally support me. But I never thought that it would be a major problem since they are both gay. So it would have been a little bit hypocritical if they would forbid me to be with someone with of the same sex, although it still was kind of scary to come out to them. But they totally accepted my sexuality, which is great."

Kurt nods his head and continues his little examination, "Makes sense to me and I'm happy that they accept you the way you are. Next question, have you told anyone else besides your parents and me? Because you need to know that I have your back, if you would come out publicly. So are you planning on telling anyone else?"

"Actually yes, I'm going to tell Chloe as well, which is only normal because she's our best friend. The only reason that I'm not telling her right now is because she couldn't make it to our sleepover tonight. Although for now, she's the only person I'm planning on telling this."

Kurt gives me a weak smile and moves closer to me on my bed. He grabs my hand and holds it in his. He sighs, "Are you afraid to come out in public?"

I give his hand a small squeeze and I respond, "It's not that I am afraid to come out since I'm already getting bullied for plenty of other reasons. But I think that it would be best to wait until I find myself the perfect girlfriend. Otherwise there isn't really a reason for me to come out and give everybody an extra reason to bully me. But when I do have a girlfriend, then I will not be ashamed of who I am. I will neve-"

He interrupts me, "If I correctly recall, you told me about five minutes ago that you already found the perfect girl. So tell me, who is it, Rach?"

I hesitate, because if Kurt thought that he was shocked when he found out that I'm bisexual then he has no idea who I'm crushing on. And if I don't tell him tonight, he certainly won't stop asking about her until I do. So since I have already reached a point of no return, I will tell him tonight.

Suddenly, I get snapped out of my thoughts when Kurt speaks up again, "Rach, were you even listening to what I was saying? Seriously, just tell me who she is! I promise I won't tell her that you have got a secret crush on her, you know you can trust me with stuff like this."

It's true, Kurt never broke my trust and he's a really good listener and advice giver. "I know Kurt, trust me, I do. But I just feel so embarrassed about this because I'm falling for someone who will never feel the same way about me."

He looks at me with a compassionate expression and he says, "Rachel, you can't think like this, you have to stay positive. So just tell me who she is and then we can go from there."

"Okay, I'll tell you." I take a quick breath before I continue, "It's Santana."

Kurt's jaw drops and he just sits there staring at me with a confused expression, he is probably just trying to process what I have just told him. I notice him struggling to find the right words because his mouth is opening and closing a few times before he can finally say something. And the only thing he manages to utter is, "Santana? Santana Lopez? The Santana Lopez? As in our head cheerleader Santana Lopez?"

I just nod and my lips turn into a huge smile. That tends to happen a lot lately when someone would mention her name. The effect that she has on me, is so big that I can't even explain it. Just one look from her is enough to have me swooning, unless it's one of her icy glares. Sometimes even I don't believe how much I long to be with her, it's rather terrifying.

Kurt speaks up again after he finally has got a hold of himself again, "I don't understand Rachel, why do you even like her? I mean, she's never nice to you and the only time she talks to you, is to insult you."

He has a point, and I know that he is right. It kills me to know that he's right. Nevertheless, the heart wants what it wants, and my heart wants Santana. So I snap, "You think I didn't already know that Kurt?! That she doesn't want me, not even as a friend! How do you think I feel?! I want her to be my girlfriend and she doesn't even want to be friends with me. I feel rejected, but I still can't get over her. I can't control the way I feel about her, I already tried to get over her. Believe me Kurt, I did. I really did. But even when I was with Finn, I couldn't forget about her."

I quickly cover my mouth as I realize what I have just confessed. Kurt looks at me in disbelief and sighs dramatically, "WOW, Rachel, hold up! You had a crush on her, when you were with Finn?! That doesn't even make any sense. You cried for days when he broke up with you, so he could be with Quinn. You have been together with Finn for about seven months; I thought that you loved him. Until today, I even thought that you still loved him; I guess I was wrong about that. But Rachel, please tell me you didn't use Finn for such a long period, that's just wrong and you know it."

I am truly astonished, that Kurt could even think that I have used Finn the whole time we were together to hide my feelings for Santana. It makes me angry that my best friend thinks that I could do something that horrible on purpose to Finn for my own benefit, so I spit out, "Of course I didn't use Finn, and I would never do that, Kurt! Especially not for seven months! Who the hell do you think I am? I thought you knew me better than this."

He apologizes, "Sorry Rach, I shouldn't have said that because it was way out of line. Of course you wouldn't do that, but you need to explain everything to me. And with everything, I mean everything because right know I'm confused as hell with al this Finn-Santana drama."

I sigh and start explaining, "You're right Kurt, I owe you an explanation and I need to clarify the current situation. Because it probably sounded like I used Finn from the beginning, which is still most definitely not true. In the beginning I thought I loved him." I take a deep breath and continue, "I thought I was in love with him, but when things started to get more serious between Finn and me, I started to realize I loved the idea of being in love with Finn but not him. I don't even know if that makes any sense." I can see that Kurt is doing his best to try and understand. This must be quite hard, since even I found it hard to comprehend at first. Anyhow, I give him the rest of my explanation, "Right now, I'm still attracted to him but I know that I don't love him and I never will. Anyway, after four months of being together, he wanted to do more than just kissing. But I didn't feel comfortable with him touching me. So I asked him to wait, and Finn totally supported my decision to remain a virgin. That's when I started to wonder for the first time why I didn't want Finn to be my first. Because I always used to think that he would be my first, you know?"

"So, why didn't you want him to be your first because I thought you guys were in love?"

"Honestly, at first I didn't know why I didn't want him to be my first. But once Finn brought up the subject of about having sexual intercourse, I started getting these kind of dreams." I need to take a pause to breathe and swallow the lump that has formed in my throat, because I can't believe that I'm actually going to tell Kurt this. But he's my best friend and it feels really good to finally tell him everything I have been struggling with for the last few months. Anyhow, before I could continue my explanation, Kurt speaks up and he is looking really amused. He probably knows what I meant with those dreams and he blurts out, "Oh my God, who would have thought that Rachel Barbra Berry gets sex dreams. Somebody just needs to pinch me so that I know that I'm not dreaming this."

He doesn't have to tell me that twice, so I quickly pinch his arm. But he doesn't reply, he just keeps on laughing at me. I warn him, "Stop laughing, because I will pinch you again if you don't stop making fun of me, Kurt. Seriously, you have no idea how confusing those dreams were for me."

"Euhm, Rachel, I hate to bring this to you. But every normal teen has those that kind of dreams about their girlfriend or boyfriend."

"That's the thing; those dreams were about Santana and me, not about Finn." Kurt's eyes go wide and his jaw hits the ground, but I just keep on continuing my rather humiliating confession. "This is so embarrassing, but I dreamed that she would kiss me and how it would feel if she would be touching me and not Finn. I know that it sounds crazy and at the time I didn't know what those dreams meant. But ever since, I have been trying to figure out why I was unconsciously attracted to her. I tried to push those feelings and dreams away; I would just tell myself that it was innocent. I mean, you have seen Santana; she's the most beautiful girl in the school. Plus she's in my after-school dance classes and she's the main dancer. So, I thought that is was normal to be attracted to her, maybe it were my hormones."

Kurt interrupts me with a small giggle before he jokes, "Okay, this is getting slightly less normal, but still highly amusing. I have to give you credit for this sleepover Rach; it's already the best I have ever been to. I can't believe that you thought that having sex dreams about the head cheerleader when you had a boyfriend didn't mean anything, that's just so naïve. Anyway, is that why you and Finn didn't work out?"

"No, it was actually when Finn said 'I love you' for the first time, because then I just couldn't say it back. I replied with an awkward, 'Awesome'. I know that it sounds awful, but I could never lie to his face and besides he wouldn't have wanted me to tell him that I loved him if I didn't mean it. That's when I initially started to realize that those feelings towards Santana might not be as innocent as I first thought. I knew that those feelings were the ones keeping me from saying 'I love you' to Finn. And in the meantime, Quinn kept on trying to steal Finn away from me. Which eventually worked, Finn and I were growing apart and she took advantage of that."

Kurt looks up and I notice that he's thinking about the whole situation. He wonders, "Euhm Rachel, just one more thing. Why did you cry so much when Finn broke up with you to be with Quinn? I mean if you didn't really love him, then why did you cry so much? That just doesn't make any sense to me."

That is a valid question; even I had spent a lot of time figuring out an answer to that question a few months ago. Because at that time, I knew that I wasn't in love with Finn, but still I couldn't stop myself from crying every time I saw him with Quinn. But after some weeks, I finally found the answer. "I didn't cry because I lost Finn, but I cried because I felt rejected. If I wasn't good enough for Finn, then how could I even hope to be good enough for someone like Santana? Santana is a popular cheerleader, just like Quinn. And someone that popular doesn't need a loser like me."

Kurt immediately interrupts me, "What?! You are not a loser, Rachel! Do you hear me?! Because I need you to know that you're not a loser. And if you and Santana would ever get together, then she would have to consider herself 're amazing, Rach."

"Thanks Kurt, I love you." He pulls me into a big hug, which I can definitely use right now.

When Kurt says stuff like that to cheer me up, that's when I realize that he truly is my best friend. I just love that he always tries to help me. Speaking of helping, he should totally try to help me out with Santana. Even though I don't even know if I stand a chance with her or if she is even into girls, Kurt will help me figure everything out. He whispers, "I love you too, Rachel Berry."

**Chloe POV**

"What do you think of this dress?" I ask while holding it in front of my body.

"It's nice, but purple isn't exactly your color, Chloe."

"Maybe you're right, I'm going to check whether they have it in red or any other color for that matter."

"Can't we get a drink first; I would really like to sit down to tell you something."

I quickly agree, and a few minutes later Rachel and I are sitting at the little coffee shop in the middle of the mall. She is fidgeting with her hands, and she lets out a shaky laugh. I don't think that I have ever seen Rachel this nervous, not even when she needed to perform her first solo in our after-school dance class.

I place my hand on top of hers, to try and calm her down. Which is obviously not working, because she's still shaking nervously. So I try and reassure her, "Whatever is going on, Rachel, it's going to be okay. So just tell my why you're acting this strange."

She takes a deep breath and sighs, "It's just hard because normally I tell you and Kurt everything, but this is something that I kept from you guys. I don't even know how to tell you, Chloe."

"Just say it, there's nothing you could do that would make me stop being your friend. You know that, Rachel."

"I'm just going to go with the easy pain and blurt it out, okay?" I just give a small nod before she continues, "I've a crush on our head cheerleader."

Oh, that's why she was acting so damn nervous. Even though it really wasn't necessary because I already knew about that. Come on, she's my best friend; I know her inside and out. In our after-school dance class, I perceived for the first time the way she looked at Santana. I have noticed it for a while, that she has got this longing look every time she sees Santana together with Puck. People who don't know Rachel like I do, probably haven't noticed it yet. But I did and she has been feeling this way about Santana for quite a while know. So now I'm happy that Rachel has found the courage to tell me about this. It was something she had to do on her own, and I couldn't be more proud that she finally did.

I chuckle, "Oh, Rachel, you were so stressed out to tell me this? I already knew, but thanks for telling me."

"What?! You knew? Did Kurt tell you yesterday?"

"Nobody needed to tell me. I have eyes, Rach."

"Was I that obvious? Would somebody else have noticed it as well?" she asks tensely.

"No, but I know you better than I know myself, and I'm good at guessing this kind of stuff. Don't you remember when I told you that Kurt had a crush on Jake?"

She laughs, "Oh yeah, he was so pissed when you found out."

"Yeah I know. Anyway, I'm happy for you Rachel. Even though I think that Santana can be a bitch, she's still hot. Besides if you would date her, then Puck would finally be available."

"Are you still crushing on Puck?"

"Hey, what's not to like about him?! That boy has got abs and some serious dance moves."

"Keep on dreaming, Chloe," Rachel chuckles.

"You too, Rach"


	3. Challenge accepted

**Quinn POV**

"I can't believe this shit; Why do we have to be the judges at this audition?" Santana whines.

"Because we're the best dancers of this class, which is why miss Stewart wants us to recruit some new talent. Even though I kind of fear that the people who are going to try out today aren't that gifted when it comes to dancing."

"Yeah, I have got the same gut feeling. All we're going to see today are some lame idiots who are convinced that they can dance, while in reality they all look like a whale who's having a heart attack. This is going to be such a waste of our time."

"True. But at least we're in this together, since we're going to be stuck in here for the rest of the afternoon," I smile.

"If you wouldn't be here Q, I don't think that I would have shown up at all. Although, I'm kind of bummed out that Brittany isn't here with us, because she had to say goodbye to her parents who are taking another trip to stay with her ill grandmother."

Before I can even respond to Santana, I notice that there are already some people waiting outside the dance studio. Honestly, I hate being stuck here, while Santana and I could have been doing so many other things on a Saturday. We could have gone to the mall, practiced some dance routines, gone to the movies or something else. But no, we have to look at some misfits making fools out of themselves, which sucks. On the other hand, I do hope to find some new dancers. We could definitely use some extra guys in our after-school dance class. Preferably guys who like to dance modern or ballet, since those are extremely hard to find. Right now, there are only four guys in our dance class, and they only dance hip-hop or something like that. Of course, occasionally Puck and his crew join us, but they can't help us in competitions since they aren't officially a part of our dance class. Besides, they aren't too keen on dancing anything but hip-hop either. This is why we could use the extra amount of guys.

I snap out of my thoughts when the first candidate enters the dance room. I immediately recognize the candidate and I have no idea what he's doing here. I look to my right, and as I suspected, Santana is looking incredibly pissed off seeing him here. The guy who's going to audition first is Elijah Morris, I know him because he's in glee club together with my boyfriend. But even though Finn thinks that he's a nice guy, I neither like nor trust him. From what I've heard, he's a nerd who doesn't know his place in this world, which would be at the bottom of the social ladder.

Anyway, Santana caught him flirting or attempting to flirt with Brittany a few weeks ago. Let me tell you this, back then Santana let him go with only a small warning about him being too low for anybody who's on the cheerleading squad. However, I don't think that she'll let him go that easily the next time she sees him do it. Even though Santana knows that she has got to be careful about her relationship with Brittany and that she has to stay low-key in order to keep it a secret, she's always protecting Brittany from guys who're making moves on her. And Elijah is such a fool because no matter how many times Brittany shoots him down, he still keeps trying. It's like he can't take no for an answer. This is not only making Santana extremely frustrated, but Brittany as well. Sometimes she only tells me, because we both know that Santana would skin him alive if she found out. It's kind of a miracle that he was alive after the first time Santana spotted him asking Brittany out on a date, which she obviously refused.

When the music starts playing, Santana leans closer to whisper something in my ear. She chuckles, "How much dorkier could this loser get. Like seriously; he's going to dance to J.T.'s 'SexyBack'. As if he could dance like Justin Timberlake, not a chance in hell."

I giggle, "Yeah, I know. It's already ridiculous and he hasn't even started dancing yet."

Elijah is walking to the middle of the room, and I notice that he is tapping his left foot. He is probably waiting for the right moment to start, most likely at the beginning of the verse.

The moment he starts moving, I have to put up my poker face because he is dancing like he is having stroke. Santana notices it too because right now she is stifling a laugh, and I already know that after his performance he is going to get a serious piece of mind from Santana. In fact, I'm going to voice my opinion as well, because he can't come in here wasting our time dancing like that on a serious audition. Why the hell is he here in the first place? Because he must have known that there was no way that we would let him join, especially not when Santana and I are the judges and have to decide.

The song ends and he is looking at us expectantly; so I speak up first, "Well, I must say that your performance was very entertaining, but not the kind of entertainment we were looking for."

Santana scoffs, "Yeah, why did you come here in the first place? I'll probably have nightmares of this, it even hurt my eyes. That's how much you sucked, comprende?!"

Instead of leaving like any normal geek would have done

after this kind of rejection, Elijah growls, "You really think you're that much better than everybody else, don't you?"

"No, I think everybody else is better than you, big difference," she snaps.

"Bitch," he mutters.

As soon as that word has left his lips, I know that he has crossed a lesson and officialy pissed off San which isn't a good thing. When I look to my right, I notice that San is fuming and ready to go all lima heights on his ass. But I really don't want to get into trouble today, so I try to calm her down by gently squeezing her leg. It is working a little bit, because instead of punching or slapping him, she is just shooting him some death glares. I look at Elijah and warn him, "Don't you dare call her that ever again, or you will be sorry. Got it?!"

He rolls his eyes and says, "Whatever, just know that it's true."

Santana rages, "What did you just say, you prick?!"

"I said that you're nothing but a little bitch that always ruins everything for me. The other day, Brittany Pierce was so close to becoming my girlfriend, until you spoiled it again."

Santana shoots up from her seat, and lunges for Elijah. I am just in time to stop her, and try to hold her back by grabbing her waist. She is yelling all kind of insults, which honestly scare the hell out of me. I am using all my strength to keep her from attacking him.

When she has finally calmed down, I see Elijah smirking at us. Honestly, I can't believe that he hasn't left yet. Because if I wasn't here to stop Santana then he would have been in the hospital by now. Seriously, and the only reason that I was even able to hold her back is because San is physically more tired than me. If she hadn't run twelve miles this morning, I wouldn't have been able to stop her. Anyway, I want to wipe that smirk off his face, so I threat, "Leave, and don't come back! Because first of all, you're definitely not good enough, and secondly, you're a jerk. So next time I see you here, I will not even try to hold Santana back."

"Oh and then there will be no stopping me," San chimes in, who has finally calmed down completely.

"You can't forbid me to come to this dance class."

"Yes, we can. You are not good enough," I say while emphasizing every word.

"Prove it, I want a dance battle. Me against you, Santana, one on one. Tomorrow after school and the winner gets to stay in your precious little dance class. Oh and if I win, I can date whoever I want and you stop with your stupid remarks every time I try to ask one of your cheerleaders out."

Instead of responding, Santana starts laughing. When her laughter has died down, she chuckles, "Oh wait, you're serious. In that case, challenge accepted, loser."

"Fine, I'll see you then."

**Brittany POV**

My parents are on a trip this weekend to stay with my grandmother in Ohio, so I invited San over to spend the night. Right now, we're both outside in my backyard looking at the clouds. Santana is leaning with her back against a tree, while my head's resting on her lap. Her hands are running through my hair, and occasionally she presses a kiss against my forehead. Moments like this, just lazing in the backyard and whispering sweet nothings to each other, are the moments that remind me of how much I love her. I wouldn't know what I would do without her, she's literally my everything.

Santana starts to stir, and speaks up, "Britt, I need to confess something."

That doesn't sound good at all. "What happened, San?"

She mutters, "I got into a tiny bit of trouble today. My temper got the best of me, and I lashed out at Elijah. But honestly that jerk had it coming."

"Language, Santana," I warn her. She knows how much I hate it when she insults people.

"But he truly is a jerk, you have no idea how he acted today when he came to the auditions."

She stops running her hands through my hair and clenches her fists. I do realize how much she dislikes him; I'm not too keen on him either. But how bad could it have been? I try to calm her down by placing a kiss on her cheek. After that I lie back down on her lap and say, "Relax, San. I'm not mad at you, so try to calm down. I love you, and nothing will ever change that, okay?"

"Okay," she whispers, "And also I kind of accepted his challenge for a dance battle."

This caught my attention and I abruptly move my head out of her lap and sit upright, so that I'm facing her with a stern expression. "You did what?"

"Tomorrow, Elijah and I are going to have a dance battle and the loser has to back off. This means that he's going to stop annoying me the whole damn time, and stop hitting on you."

At this my expression softens and I ask calmly, "Is that what this is about? About him asking me out?"

Santana slowly nods her head; she's so cute when she's jealous. Oh how, I love her. I sigh happily, "Don't worry, nobody could ever compare to you, babe."

"Oh, is that so?"

I hum, "hmmm" and before I can even realize it, Santana's lips are touching my own. Soon, our kiss has turned into a big make out session, and I feel as if I'm in heaven. Just like every time I kiss San, I feel like I'm right where I need to be. With her lips on my own, I feel like I'm home again.

**A/N: Thoughts?**


	4. Our friendship is one of a kind

**Santana POV**

This week has been hectic, and not the good kind. I just feel as if this whole Elijah drama has caused me nothing but stress. Seriously, I thought that after I won the dance battle, I would have gotten rid of him. Unfortunately, I didn't. Elijah made that clear this morning when he called me out in the hallway. He was lucky to get away with only a small push and some minor insults. I could have done much worse, but I promised Britt that I would back off. Besides I didn't feel like getting detention just because that idiot didn't know his place at the bottom of the social hierarchy. Ugh, even thinking about this makes me so angry. Angry at that asshole.

This anger that he caused me is consuming me, which is why I decided to head over to the dance studio to relieve some of it. So right now, I'm standing in front of the building. Some might think it's weird that I come here on a Friday night, but I like it more when I'm the only one there. Besides Miss Stewart gave me the key because I'm the main dancer and she knows that I prefer to practice more than the others since it's my dream to become a professional dancer.

I love to dance, it's my way to express myself when words just aren't enough. I have no idea what I would do without dancing, which is why I practice this much. I'm here at least five times a week, which is a lot considering I also have got cheerleading practice four times a week. Anyway, this time I'm here to let go of my anger.

The dance studio is like my little refuge and even just being here makes me feel better. I gently open the lock and slowly flicker the lights on. As I look around, I take a deep breath of contentment because I'm finally home again. I drop my bag on the floor and walk over to the stereo system so that I can connect my iPhone to the surround sound system.

The moment 'Beat It' by Michael Jackson comes blasting through the speakers; I immediately lose myself in the music and express myself the only way I know how. I start dancing with my heart on my sleeve. My movements are filled with so much energy, passion and I can feel my anger ebbing away as I'm putting it into my performance. I try to precise every jump and every step, I need it to perfect.

As the music keeps playing, I do more and more tricks with all the enthusiasm and energy I can muster up. Not only am I trying to use my anger to fuel that energy, I'm also trying to come up with a new routine that we could use in our dance class.

A couple of minutes later, the song comes to an end and a new one starts playing. I stop moving for a couple of moments, to figure out which song it is and how to dance to it. The ballad that is blasting through the speakers right now is 'Unconditionally' by Katy Perry, which is a beautiful love song.

As I start dancing, my brain gets invaded by memories of Brittany and me. I start pouring all the feelings and love that I have for her in my dancing, which is a challenge because dancing to a ballad isn't my strongest point since I'm more a hip-hop kind of girl. Nevertheless, I try to make this performance perfect.

After a couple of songs, I can feel my sweat dripping down my face. However when I turn around towards the entrance of the studio, so that I could grab my bottle of water, I notice that I'm not alone after all. Apparently Quinn watched me dance, which doesn't really bother me because we're really close friends. A smile graces her features as I'm walking towards her. I decide to break the silence and joke, "If I didn't know you any better, I would say that you're one hell of a creeper, Fabray."

She rolls her eyes and retorts, "Please, you love it." And after a split second, she adds, "No scratch that, you love me."

"Well well Fabray, are you trying to flirt with me?"

I can see her cheeks turn into a nice shade of red, and I love it. Making Q blush, must be one of my favorite pastimes. Ever since we were young I always loved embarrassing Q because that's a hard thing to do. Everyone knows that Quinn Fabray isn't someone you can easily mess with. Normally she's a really collected person, so throwing her off her balance is a challenge I cannot resist. After a few seconds, she finally answers, "You wish, Lopez."

I laugh, "Hahaha, true that Q-Ball. True that." After that I crouch down to take my water bottle and I take a big sip. After I'm done drinking I ask Q what she thought of my performance or at least the part that she saw. She replied, "I loved it, San. I always love watching you dance."

"Well, why don't you join me instead of looking at me?"

She shrugs and sighs, "I wish I could, but I didn't bring appropriate clothes to get all sweaty. I just came here because I figured you'd be here, so I could watch."

I chuckle, "Damn I must be quite something, since I've got my first stalker."

Quinn roles her eyes and shoves my shoulder playfully. "Don't flatter yourself too much, San. Besides I know you like it when I watch."

"That I do my friend, but I like it more when you dance with me. Why don't we make a deal, and you come dancing with me one night a week?"

Quinn eyes me suspiciously. "Just you and me?"

I know that she's referring to Brittany, because normally I either dance alone, or with the two of them. I never dance with Quinn alone, which I kind of regret since she's my best friend and an amazing dancer. However I feel like I should spend some more time with her, and I know that she loves dancing almost as much as I do. Moreover, I want her to know that I also want to hang out with just her, because I don't want her to feel like a third wheel or something like that. I beam, "Yeah, just you and me. So what do you say, Q?"

A large smile graces her lips and she replies, "I would love that."

After our little arrangement had been made, we went to my place to watch a movie. Unfortunately, I let Quinn pick the movie. Which meant that I had to watch some lame romantic movie. I still don't get that Quinn hates horror movies, but I'm so picking one next time she comes over because then it's my turn to choose the movie.

So after all, this Friday night had been more fun then I thought it would be. Because I expected that I would have to spend it alone since my parents are still on their business trip and Brittany couldn't come over because her parents just came home from their trip this evening. Seriously, I should hang out more with Q because I had a blast this evening.

**A/N: Thoughts? For those who already knew the story, this is the first chapter that I've added to my original story. Please review to let me know whether or not you liked it.**


	5. A plan that's bound to hurt some people

**Brittany POV**

"So Q, what do you think I should do about this?"

Quinn scrunches her eyebrows together, and I can practically hear her think. She has to come up with some kind of plan, because I don't want to lose San. However, I'm also sick of hiding all the time and it needs to stop.

Last weekend I did some thinking, and I have come to the conclusion that loving San is causing me so much pain. Don't get me wrong because Santana is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but having to share her in public is slowly killing me. It's kind of like giving a little kid a piece of candy and telling them that they can't eat it. That's the way I feel about our relationship. I'm so close to having her as my girlfriend, out and proud, but still she insists on hiding our love.

All I know right now is that I can't keep on sharing Santana, it's hurting me too much. It kills me when I see San with somebody else in public, particularly when we're at a party and she's making out with some random guy. I just don't get why she can let a guy whom she doesn't love kiss her in public, but she can't kiss me in the open. I'm her girlfriend; it's my job to kiss her in public. At least I wish it was.

Of course, I understand that it's scary for her to show everyone that we're in love because we're two girls. Especially since we both live in Lima, and Lima is not very open-minded, but she has to realize that she can't hide forever. She can't hide us forever. I want to marry her one day, you know. In fact, if I ever want that to happen, then she'll have to tell her family and friends about our relationship. With this in mind, I want to help her do that.

All of a sudden, I realize that Quinn is waving her hand in front of my face because I was staring blankly ahead. I guess I just got lost in thoughts. Anyway, I should probably listen to what she has to say since I'm the one who asked her to help me out in the first place. "So what do you think, Britt?"

"I'm sorry Quinn; I didn't really pay that much attention. I guess my mind drifted off again. Can you please repeat it once more?"

She gives me a genuine smile before starts explaining it to me one more time, "So Brittany, I thought maybe you should try to make her jealous the same way that she makes you jealous. Because you said to me that it kills you when you see San kissing someone else to hide your relationship, so maybe you should do the same. That way, she might realize how much hiding your feelings and love for each other, is really hurting you."

"So what are you saying, Quinn? Because honestly I don't understand, do you want me to cheat on Santana?"

She quickly shakes her head and clarifies, "Of course not, I mean, you should kiss some random guy when you're at a party, so maybe she will get jealous or feel the pain you feel when she does that. While in the meantime I think you should flirt with guys and girls in public whenever Santana is around. I know that it sounds harsh, but we have already tried to convince her to come out by just using words of encouragement. Besides, we both know that, that plan didn't work out and it won't any time soon. I mean, I'm her best friend and she couldn't even tell me. If I hadn't walked in on you guys, I probably wouldn't have known yet."

I still feel bad about not telling Quinn right away, she's our best friend and she deserved to know from the beginning. So I apologize, "You know how sorry we are for not telling you, Q. San was just so scared that you would be disgusted by us, or stop being our friend. I know that it sounds ridiculous but she was struggling with her sexuality at that time. She still is actually, and I wanted her to tell you herself because you're her best friend and you deserve to hear it from us. But don't get me wrong, because I knew that you would support us. San just needed more time to tell you, and I just chose to respect that. I hope you can understand that."

"Yeah I know, you both already apologized for that like a million times. And I understand that it must be very hard to deal with your sexuality and that's why I totally forgave you guys. So anyway, like you said, I completely support you and Santana. I adore you guys together, and that's why I think you should try my plan."

I wonder, "What do we do when it doesn't work?"

"Let's just hope that it does."

I shrug and persist, "Yeah, but what if it doesn't?"

"Well, then you could consider my back-up plan. Even though, I don't really think that it's such a great idea."

"What exactly is your back-up plan?"

"Hopefully, you'll never know. Because frankly, my back-up plan involves hurting San's feelings and I obviously want to avoid that at all costs. So let's hope that the first plan works out."

I'm a little bit confused and concerned about Quinn's back-up plan. I just hope that flirting with other people in public will do the trick. I beam, "Okay, plan A is officially a go."

**Santana POV**

I knock on his door, praying that he would be home. Finally after a few minutes, the door opens and he greets me, "Hey San, what are you doing here?"

"Can I come in? I'll explain later, right now I could really use a friend."

He gestures for me to enter and says with a smirk, "Yeah of course come on in, sounds like someone wants to spend some quality time with the Puckasaurus."

I just roll my eyes and say sarcastically, "You're just full of yourself, aren't you?"

"You wouldn't want to have it any other way Lopez and you know it."

Puck's right, I wouldn't want to have him any other way. He's the only one who understands that sometimes I just like some distractions from my problems, instead of talking about them over and over again. So here I am again, yet another time that my feelings got the best of me. Even though this doesn't happen a lot to me, it has become some sort of ritual between Puck and me over the years. Whenever I would fight with Brittany or would have some kind of problem, he would just let me be and watch a movie with me. Afterwards, Puck would just hold me and listen to me when I would eventually be ready to talk.

So here we are, and the movie is almost over, not that we were really paying attention to it. I don't even know what the title is, and it doesn't even matter. All that matters is that Puck has been holding me the entire time; I really needed him to hold me this time. It's like I need to feel that there will always be someone who won't leave me, no matter what. I know that he will always support me, even when I'm wrong; he's the kind of best friend that some people could only dream about.

The movie is over, and I can see in Puck's eyes that he would like me to tell him what's going on. I open my mouth and I try to explain it, but it's like I can't find the right words. My eyes are starting to get filled with tears, which I desperately try to fight, but I barely manage to control them. Puck notices my struggle with the droplets that are threatening to fall from my eyes, and he tightens his grip on me. I bury my head in his neck in the hope to find some kind of comfort there.

I take a deep breath and swallow the lump that has formed in my throat and I start explaining everything, "Puck, I'm losing her. I'm losing Brittany. She's giving me all of these signs; I think she's going to leave me. I don't know what to do, because I can't come out. I just can't Puck, but I also can't lose her. Please help me."

I hate to sound so desperate, but I really need him to help me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. Because lately, something has changed between Brittany and me. We used to have some discussions about me coming out, but now they have turned into fights and they are starting to ruin our relationship. Brittany keeps on pushing me, and I still can't do it.

Anyway, now she's giving me a hard time when I'm flirting with some jocks, but Britt knows that I don't like it any more than her, and that I do it to keep us safe. So last week, when we had yet another fight about it, she said that it was fine because she was going to flirt with other people as well. Apparently she decided to do that, so I wouldn't have to feel guilty about all the flirting because she would be doing the same thing as me. But the only difference is that she already came out and she also flirts with girls and it hurts. It's like she doesn't even care, that I want to be with her in public but that I can't because she would get bullied. Not because she's gay, but because I'm gay. If everybody would know that we're together and that I'm a lesbian, then they would bully her because she's my one weakness.

Now, nobody can touch me, and they all think that I'm just some kind of bitch that doesn't care about anybody. But the truth is that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to Brittany. Seriously, without her, I wouldn't be able to survive. I hate that this constant battle with myself, is getting the best of me. It's getting the best of us, and I need it to stop.

I notice the silence that has formed between us and I look up at Puck, I notice that he is thinking about ways to make everything okay again. But I also see that he is confused, which is understandable since I didn't tell him everything yet. So I continue my explanation about why I'm here and I sob, "Today, I saw Brittany kissing Stacey, a freshman cheerleader. The worst part is that she did it right in front of me. Afterwards, I asked her what the hell was going on. I thought that she had already broken up with me, but I didn't get the memo or something like that. All she said as an explanation was, that it didn't mean anything. That it was just the same like when I kiss some random guy at a party to cover up the fact that I'm gay. But she forgot the fact that she doesn't have to hide that she's bisexual because everybody already knows that. Plus the fact that Stacey isn't a guy, but a girl. And let's be honest, she isn't exactly ugly and she's a popular cheerleader. It's just not fair."

He scrunches his eyebrows together and says, "San, I think that you need to talk to Brittany. Maybe she doesn't know how much this is hurting you. But I don't think that she would ever leave you. However, I will help you to make sure that she doesn't leave you. You can always count on me, San. You know that."

I tighten my grip on him and whisper, "Thanks Puck, I love you."

"I love you too, San."

**A/N: Thoughts? **


	6. Dancing with your heart on your sleeve

**Santana POV**

Why the fuck am I freaking out like this? I shouldn't be this nervous to perform my solo for this week's assignment. Although it's the first time that I'm going to express my feelings for Brittany in front of everyone, even though nobody will know that. I decided to do this because I can feel Britt slipping away, like she's getting a little bit more distant every day.

This week Miss Stewart asked us to dance to music that expresses our emotions or reminds us of things we truly care about, not that I think that it's any of her goddamn business. But anyway, Puck and I got this crazy idea that this could be the perfect opportunity to fix my relationship with Brittany. We thought if I would take this dance class assignment seriously, then maybe I could show Britt how I really feel. Maybe she would finally understand that I really do love her, even though I don't want us to come out yet. That hiding our relationship doesn't have anything to do with not loving her or her not being good enough, and I believe that I can get that message across with music.

When everything in my life was falling down and changing for the worse, music was the one thing that remained the same. Music has always been there for me, without it I would probably have gone insane years ago. When I dance, it's like the whole world stops spinning and I finally become one with my soul. It lets me access every part of myself, even the parts I try to keep hidden. It's like my body expresses what my heart thinks; you cannot dance without using your emotions. When I dance, I can finally release all of my feelings that I keep bottled up. Moreover when words aren't enough, I use the power of music to express myself.

But now, I'm having a bad feeling about this performance, I don't even know what I was thinking when I agreed to do this. Yes, I like putting my emotions into my dancing, but I have never used it to communicate with Brittany in front of the whole dance class. Yes, I have danced with her in private, but that's completely different. Because now, there's the risk that someone would know that the song I chose for this assignment is about Brittany and me. So maybe it's a good thing that I have brought my so-called boyfriend, Puck. Since right now, I can use all the moral support I can possibly get. Anyway, I guess it's too late to back down now since Puck's already waiting outside the dance studio.

Puck's in a dance crew, and they always practice on the streets. That's why most girls think he's some kind of gangster, but that doesn't scare them away. In fact most girls like the dangerous edge that he has. Even though I know that he's just a big softie with only a tiny badass side. But that's what I love about him; he's like a big brother to me. Everybody thinks that I'm dating him, so he often comes to my after-school dance classes. Sometimes he even dances with me, which is totally awesome. He and I both love hip-hop and since we often practice together, it's only normal that we like to perform together in front of my dance class. We both love the sound of applause after performing a routine you have put a lot of work in. But even when he doesn't need to dance with me, he accompanies me because I like him there for moral support. He knows how much it means to me when he comes with me, because he's one of the few who really understand what kind of courage it takes to dance with your heart on your sleeve.

Today I'm going to dance to 'A Thousand Years' by Christina Perri. It's a slow song, which means that I'm going to dance modern instead of my usual hip-hop performances. It's kind of a challenge, but it shouldn't be a problem because I have worked hard on my graceful moves, and even on my ballet moves, which I don't use very often in my dance performances. Therefore, it took enough work to put this performance together, but Brittany's worth it. Even though she's the only one who is going to know that it's for her, and of course Puck and Quinn will know that too.

Now that I really think about it, Puck and I haven't really thought about how we are going to tell Brittany that it's for her. We probably just assumed that Britt would automatically know that if I would choose a love song to dance to, for this week's assignment that it's for her. However, I think that I need to find a way to tell her or show her that it's for her and for nobody else. She shouldn't assume it, but she should know that it's for her. I don't want my girlfriend to assume that I love her; I need her to know that I love her. That's what this whole plan was about in the first place. She needs to know that all the emotions and feelings that I'm going to put into this dance are directed towards her.

"Whoa, San, were you even listening to me?"

Shit, I must have looked like a fucking idiot because I probably just stood there gawking while my mind drifted off. I try and regain my cool by rolling my eyes at him and replying, "Whatever, it probably wasn't that important anyways."

He lets out a gasp, pretending to be offended and mocks, "Ouch San, that really hurt."

After I let out a small chuckle, he continues, "But no hard feelings Lopez, because I know that you were just having a little daydream about me. As always."

"Uhu, keep on telling yourself that, Noah."

He lets out a small laugh before he gets a bit more serious, "So, are you ready to perform? Or are you as nervous as I think you are?"

"Damn you know me too well, 'cause I'm totally stressing out. I just hope that she's going to like it. If this doesn't convince her that I love her then I don't know what will, plus I really hope that nobody else is going to realize that it's for her. This is a fucking big risk that I'm taking, Puck."

"She'll love it, San. And that's the only thing that matters; you're doing this for her. So remember when you're performing that I'll always have your back. Just dance like nobody's watching."

"Thanks bro," I say and then I pull him into a big bone-crushing hug. Sometimes I just can't believe how lucky I am for having a friend like Puck. I honestly don't know what I would do without him.

"You shouldn't worry so much Lopez, it'll give you wrinkles," he laughs.

We both let out a small laugh and I gently nudge his shoulder before we enter the dance studio together.

**Brittany POV**

Quinn and I are eagerly waiting in the back of the dance room, because today a couple of dancers need to perform this week's assignment. I'm kind of excited to see their dance solos, and I'm curious which songs they'll have chosen. Sometimes, when somebody dances with all of his emotions, then you can look right into the soul of that person. Maybe that sounds weird, but that doesn't make it any less true. Perhaps, I will even cry during one of the performances today. It wouldn't surprise me, because that has happened before. Most of the people that are in this dance class are real artists. There's no other way to say it, the way some people in here dance, can be so damn moving. When Santana dances, it always makes me fall in love with her even more than I already was.

I have always loved to dance, and every day I love it a bit more. It isn't a hobby anymore; it's my life and the way I communicate with people. Well, I didn't use to communicate through my dancing, but it's something that Santana has taught me when we became best friends.

Before Santana became my girlfriend, I already knew that she wasn't exactly a talker when it came to her feelings. But when I saw her dance, I could see all of her emotions. Even the ones that she wanted to hide so desperately, and the ones she tried to fight on a daily basis. When she dances, she shows her more vulnerable side which is so damn beautiful. Thanks to her, I learned to dance with my heart instead of my body. But still, nobody is better in dancing with emotions than her. I know that she's the main reason that we became state champions last year.

I stop daydreaming the moment I notice Puck standing by the door of the dance studio. I can tell by the way he is fumbling with his hands, that he's kind of nervous. I think he's talking to someone, but I can't really see whom he's talking to. So I decide to move my chair a little so I can get a better view. And when I finally see whom he is speaking to, things got very interesting because he is talking to Santana. Why would Puck be nervous when he's in a conversation with San? That doesn't make any sense. Those two are like brother and sister, which means that they're never nervous or uncomfortable around each other. Maybe Puck is going to surprise our dance class again, and he's going to perform. But even that isn't a legitimate explanation, because he's never tense when he's going to dance. Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't think that I have ever seen him nervous. He's the typical jock with the looks, the muscles and a badass reputation, but also with a heart of gold. So it's odd seeing him less confident than he usually is.

Curiosity is getting the best of me and I start walking towards Santana and Puck. However before I could get there, they already started walking in my direction. So when Santana finally reaches me, she links her pinkie through mine and we sit next to each other in the dance studio like we always do. She is looking a bit stressed, which is weird because Santana always looks fearless and very confident. I should make a mental note to myself, to ask San why she and Puck are so damn nervous, it's weird. I hope they didn't get themselves into trouble again, but even if that's the case then I will try to help them. I always do.

Suddenly San leans closer to my ear and whispers, "Hey Britt-Britt, I just want you know that I love you. I love you more than you'll ever know even though we're going through a rough patch right now. But I promise that things will get better, just wait and see."

Hearing those words come out of Santana's mouth make me swoon and my heart swell. It is taking all the strength I have to resist the urge of kissing her right here, right now. But I am fully aware that we're in public, and San would definitely not appreciate it if I would out her by kissing her. So instead I just whisper something back, "I love you too San. Always and forever."

Before Santana can say something back, Miss Stewart enters the studio and I notice Santana tense up. I have no idea why, until Miss Stewart announces that Santana is the first to perform today. My jaw literally drops because I am astonished that Santana is going to perform first, normally Rachel always goes first. And by always, I really mean always.

**Rachel POV**

Santana is currently dancing to Christina Perri's 'A thousand years' and it's absolutely beautiful. I have never seen Santana perform with so much emotion, with so much love. Sure, she's known for performing with emotion, but this amount of expressing your feelings in a performance is almost unbelievable.

I'm getting teary-eyed, and when I look around, I notice that I'm not the only one. Almost all of the girls are in a trance by this performance, but some of them are staring at Puck. They are probably thinking that he's a very lucky guy, because they think that this performance is for him. If Kurt wouldn't have told me about San and her sexuality, I would probably have thought exactly the same thing.

Saturday, I had told him about Santana and how I believed that I could never get a chance to be with her, because she's straight. Well, Kurt informed me that Santana is gay, or at least bisexual. At first I didn't believe him, but then he said that Brittany had told him that she's in a relationship with Santana. Apparently she wanted to ask him advice about coming out, because she trusts Kurt enough to keep her relationship with Santana a secret. Plus, he knows a lot about being bullied because of your sexuality, since he's gay. So he could help her to understand why Santana is so scared of coming out.

At first I was shocked that he didn't tell me this before because we're best friends, and best friends tell each other everything. However after thinking about it, I understood that he couldn't tell me. Kurt didn't want to risk outing Santana if she wasn't ready for it. After all, the more people would know about it, the more chance that it would happen. Plus, if he had told me earlier then he would have broken Brittany's trust.

Now that I know that Santana's also attracted to girls, I gained a bit more hope. But I also feel a bit heartbroken because she's attracted to girls, just not to me. When I still thought that Santana was straight then I could tell myself that she didn't like me because I'm a girl. But now she doesn't like me, because of who I am. However Kurt said that I still have got a chance because Brittany is questioning her relationship with Santana because she wants to be out and Santana is far from ready to go public with their relationship. Moreover he thinks that it will take a while for Santana to be ready.

But right now, I don't think my chances are that good. Because when I look to my right, I notice that Brittany is trying to fight back some tears. I assume they are happy tears because if you know about the relationship between Santana and Brittany, then it's obvious that Santana is performing for her and not Puck. And if you really pay close attention to the performance, then you notice that Santana is shooting quick glances in Brittany's direction while she's dancing. I'm also on the verge of tears because I can see how much they love each other. Which hurts, but I hope that one day Santana will look at me the way she's looking at Brittany right now.

**A/N: Thoughts?**


	7. The back-up plan

**Brittany POV**

Yesterday Santana dedicated her performance to me, which was extremely sweet of her. I could practically see and even feel how much she loves me, how much we love each other. The only downside was that I needed to wait to reward her until we got home, because unfortunately we're still hiding our relationship. Anyway, right after school we drove to her house because her parents are always working late, and then I showed her just how much I love her. Our heated make out session quickly turned into sex. No it wasn't sex, it was truly making love. I needed to show her even though our relationship is going to a rough patch right now, that I still love her with all my heart. I always will.

However because I hold so much love for San, I want to be able to hold and kiss her in public. I just know that we will both be much happier when we stop hiding our relationship. So right now, I'm sitting here in my room and I'm waiting for Quinn to arrive. Because Q said that she's going to help me achieve that. Both Q and I believe that it would be better for San to come out. That way San and I will be able to share our love with our friends and family. Accomplishing that isn't going to be easy, but in the end San will be so happy and relieved that she doesn't have to hide anymore.

I get snapped out of my thoughts when Quinn enters my bedroom and sits on my bed next to me. She greets me, "Hey Britt."

"Hi Quinn, thanks for coming over."

"No problem, that's what friends are for. So anyway how are you? Especially, after Santana's performance yesterday?"

The way she said it makes me feel like I should be sad or something like that. I thought that it should make me happy when my girlfriend performs a song for me. I hesitate, "Euhm, yeah of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

She starts explaining, "Well for instance, because San told everyone that she chose that song for Puck. Plus she kissed him after the performance right in front of you. Doesn't that hurt you?"

"Of course it hurts me Q, but at least now we're making some kind of progress."

She quirks her perfectly manicured eyebrow at me and challenges me, "And what kind of progress would that be, Brittany? Because I was there and I sure as hell didn't notice any."

I shrug my shoulders because I know that she has a point. When I can't find the right words to come up with a great response, she continues, "Or is sticking her tongue down Puck's throat your idea of making progress? Because it sure as hell wasn't mine."

Those words hurt and she knows it, so I snap, "Stop Quinn! Just stop!" I take a deep breath and rage, "Don't you ever think that it didn't hurt me, because it did. Of course it did. But I was also really happy when she performed that solo for me because I knew that it came from her heart and that San did it to show me how much she loves me. So I'm sorry if I'm not more disappointed, because all I could think about was how much I love her and how much she loves me. It might not be enough, but in that moment it was."

As soon as I'm finished with my little monologue, I notice a change in Quinn's features. Her bright smile has been replaced with a sad one, and she has slumped her shoulders. She mutters, "I'm sorry Britt, I didn't mean to be so harsh."

"I know Quinn, and it's okay. Just try and lay of the subject a bit. You know how much I want San to come out, so you don't have to throw it in my face that all my attempts to make that happen have failed miserably. And honestly, I don't think that they'll ever work."

"Sounds like you're giving up already, Brittany."

"Maybe I am," I mutter.

"But how much longer are you going to wait for San to come out? Because I can't see that happening any time soon."

I lean back against my headboard, let out a deep sigh and softly shrug my shoulders. After a few seconds, I admit, "I honestly don't know, 'cause we've been hiding for more than a year."

"Exactly. Don't you think it's time to do something about this?"

"I guess so, but how am I going to be able to pull that off? You and I both know that San is terrified of coming out and it's not like I can out her myself. She would never forgive me if I did that, so I can only try and push her into doing coming out. But I don't know how."

"We could always try my back-up plan. It isn't that solid, but I don't know what other choice you have."

I clear my throat, before asking what that back-up plan exactly is. Honestly, I had hoped that just flirting with other people would have done the trick, but now our only option is the backup-plan. So I ask, "So Quinn, what do you actually mean with plan B?"

"Basically you have to let Santana think that she's losing you, that way she'll come out of the closet to try and win you back. Because she will know that that's the only way that you'll get back together with her."

I interrupt Quinn immediately and start shaking my head. "What?! I'm not breaking up with Santana! Are you crazy?! I can't do that, I love her Quinn and she loves me. We have been together for more than a year, I can't throw that away!"

Quinn snaps, "Geez Brittany, relax a little. You didn't let me finish. I came up with this plan after I saw it in some movie. The girl tried to make the guy jealous by dating someone else and she pulled it off. It might be a little harsh, but I can totally see this working. In the end it's your decision, but think about it. This could really work."

"Okay, I guess you're right. Maybe I should give this a shot, but who would I date to make Santana jealous? Because I don't want to lead someone on."

"Well, I already figured that out. Do you want to know?"

"Of course, shoot."

"Okay, so I talked to Elijah today and he would love to take you out on a date. I talked to him about it, obviously without mentioning anything about your relationship with San or this plan, and I have to say he's perfect for this plan."

I wonder, "How could anyone be perfect for this?"

"Well because first of all that guy has got a huge crush on you, and second of all Santana hates his guts. Of course I told him that you aren't looking for anything serious and he just shrugged that off and told me that it never hurts to try. He's going to be able to get under Santana's skin and speed up the process. Plus even though he's a nerd, he's pretty easy on the eyes."

I question, "So if I really go through with this plan, how long do you think that I'll have to date him?"

"I don't know, Britt. But I assume that it'll only be a few weeks."

"A part of me thinks that this is exactly what I need to do, but another part of me is so scared. Losing Santana, even for a few weeks, is terrifying."

"I'm not going to lie; it's going to hurt both of you which makes it so terrifying. But think about how happy you will be when San would come out of the closet and you could be together in public. Besides it'll only be a temporary break-up."

"You're right, let's do this."

**A/N: Please let me know what you think of this chapter. I added some changes to this chapter, because in my opinion I feel as if Quinn doesn't have to be the bad guy in this story. In the previous version of this story, it was Quinn who really pushed Brittany to break up with San. However, I've changed it a little and made Quinn a little less dominant so that it'd be mainly Brittany's choice to break up with San. **


	8. Tell it through music

**Rachel POV**

"So Rach, what did you think about Santana's solo today? Because I saw you crying a little bit, even though I know you were trying your best to hide it."

What?! Chloe saw me crying during that performance. Sure, a lot of the girls got teary-eyed, but it's not the same as crying. How is that even possible? I tried so hard to wipe my tears the moment I felt them burn on my cheeks. Apparently I didn't try hard enough; I can only hope that Chloe was the only one who noticed my tears. Oh God, I just hope Santana didn't see them because if she did then she probably thinks that I'm some kind of freak that cries for no apparent reason because that performance was definitely not about me or for me in any way.

Chloe starts moving towards my bed, where I am currently sitting, and she wraps her arms around me because I have started sobbing. When it comes to Santana, it's like I can't think straight anymore and my feelings always get the best of me. I weep, "I'm so sorry Chloe, this was supposed a fun little get-together. And now, I'm ruining it because I'm crying and I can't control my freaking emotions anymore."

Chloe raises my chin with her left hand so that I am looking her straight in the eye and then she says sweetly, "Don't you ever think that you're ruining a get-together just because you're crying. I'm your best friend Rachel; I should be the one on whose shoulder you can cry. You know I'm always here for you, don't you?"

I just give her a small nod, because Chloe is right and she's my best friend, just like Kurt is. Speaking of which, he should be here soon since we agreed on doing another little sleepover tonight. Anyway, Chloe continues, "So why don't you tell me why you're crying, instead of bottling all of your feelings up. And if you aren't ready to talk about your emotions yet, then I will just hold you. I want to help you, Rach."

Before I say anything to respond, I pull Chloe in a much tighter hug to express how much she means to me. By the look on her face, I notice that she can barely breathe. So I decide to loosen the embrace a little bit, because I obviously don't want to suffocate her. I reply, "Okay, I will tell you. It's just very hard for me to talk about this."

A small sob escapes my lips and Chloe gently squeezes my hand to reassure me that everything is going to be okay and that I should continue telling her what's on my mind. So I start explaining, "It's probably silly, but today in our after-school dance class during Santana's solo, I realized exactly how deep my feelings are. I'm so in love with San that it scares me, while she probably doesn't even care about me."

I take a deep breath and wipe the tears from my eyes, before I continue, "When I was watching her performance today, I could tell by the way she moved and the song that she had chosen, that she's utterly in love with Brittany. Like sickeningly in love, I saw it in her eyes every time she shot a quick glance towards Brittany. And the whole damn time, I was imagining how it would feel if she would look at me the same way she was looking at Brittany. However, I can't help but think that that is never going to happen. I don't know what to do Chloe; I try to tell myself to get over Santana. But I can't get over her, I just can't and it's killing me."

I have started crying again and I bury my face in the pillow on my bed. Chloe is running her hand over my back to try and soothe me, and it is working. It only takes a few minutes for my crying to stop; thanks to comfort she has given me.

Chloe notices that I have completely calmed down again and she breaks the silence, "Rachel, I'm not going to lie to you saying that Santana isn't in love with Brittany because she clearly is. Otherwise she wouldn't have danced to that song in our dance class, because that was a big risk and a big step for her and their relationship."

Chloe takes a small break and a sigh escapes her mouth. My lips start trembling because even though that what she just said is true, it still hurts. She takes my hand and holds it in hers, to try and offer me some kind of support and comfort. Then she continues, "However that doesn't take away that they still have their little relationship problems. Because they do have them, if they wouldn't then Brittany would never have come to Kurt for his advice about what to do with Santana. I can tell that it's killing Brittany that Santana doesn't want to come out of the closet yet. And she clearly doesn't because after the performance, Santana kissed Puck. We both know that she did that to reassure everyone that she chose that song for him.

But gestures like that, are killing Brittany inside out. That's why she wants Santana to come out, so she wouldn't have to share her anymore. So don't give up hope yet, you still have a chance."

Chloe is right, but I wonder why Brittany doesn't understand that everybody needs to come out at his own pace. I mean, you can't force it. You just have to be patient and wait until that person is ready. And I believe that Santana is worth waiting for.

I sigh, "Personally, I don't think that Santana has to come out if she isn't ready. First she has to accept herself before she can expect other people to do the same."

"True, but I don't think that Brittany truly realizes that. But anyway, that means that you still have a chance with Santana. So why don't we figure out which song you are going to choose for this week's dance assignment? Maybe you can choose something that expresses how you feel about Santana."

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Chloe. I mean, I'm not ready to tell everybody that I'm bisexual and that I'm in love with Santana. That would be too much to handle and Brittany would most likely kill me."

Chloe starts laughing and I give her a puzzled look, I mean what is there to laugh about? She giggles, "Oh Rachel, I didn't say you had to bring a bouquet of roses and wear a t-shirt that says 'loves Santana' when you dance. I thought that it would help you to choose a song about your true feelings; you will feel relieved when you can express yourself through dancing. This doesn't mean that you have got to tell everybody to who that performance was directed to or why you chose that particular song."

"In that case I know the perfect song."

Before I can discuss this some more with Chloe, the doorbell interrupts us. When I finally answer the door, Kurt practically jumps me. Just like every time the three of us have a sleepover, he's ecstatic.

When the two of us enter my room, we see Chloe going through my music library on my MacBook Pro. Of course, Kurt's curiosity is directly peaking and he moves to the spot on my bed next to Chloe. He asks, "So what are you doing? Are you randomly going through her music library or are we looking for the perfect song for a special occasion. Maybe serenading a certain somebody?"

Chloe giggles, "Seriously Kurt, are you ever not extremely curious?"

"If I admit that I always am, will you tell me?"

She chuckles, "Of course, I'll tell you. I'm looking for a song for Rach. We're going to look up a song that expresses how she feels about Santana for our dance class assignment."

Kurt chimes in, "That's a great idea, wish I was the one who thought of that. Anyway, maybe we could do the same for glee club, since I'm not in your dance class to see you perform. So maybe, we could perform a song together, Rach. And besides, in glee club there's nobody that's close to Santana, so the chances that they would know that it's for her are really slim."

Chloe beams, "That would be totally awesome, that way you can finally start expressing your feelings, Rach. You don't even need to tell anyone that it's about Santana, but it will help yourself accepting those feelings."

"Totally agree on that one," Kurt says.

I interrupt them both, "Hello you guys, I'm standing right here. Care to include me in your conversation, since you're talking about me anyway?"

Both of them roll their eyes playfully and they yell in unison, "Little diva." It's something that everybody calls me, because I intend to demand a lot of attention. They mean it well, and it refers to my dream of being a famous singer like Barbra Streisand, Beyoncé or Whitney Houston someday. That dream is the reason that I'm in dance class and in the glee club. I have a busy schedule, but I wouldn't want it any other way. Because in my after-school dance classes, I met Chloe and I met Kurt in the glee club. Without those two, I wouldn't be the same and I love them to pieces.

I laugh, "Make fun of me as much as you want, or you could make yourself useful and help me pick two songs."

"We're on it boss," Kurt jokes.

After about one hour of searching and listening to some ridiculous songs, we have finally found the perfect two songs. We have decided that 'Girlfriend' by the Avril Lavigne is perfect for the dance assignment. It's a bold move, because if you know the lyrics, then you know that I'll need a lot of courage to perform that kind of song. But it has got a great beat and the right sassiness for a hip-hop performance, which is my kind of thing. Anyhow, in glee club, I'm going to sing Lionel Ritchie's 'Hello'. The lyrics of that song are absolutely perfect for the situation I'm in at the moment. It's Chloe who picked that song, and when I listened to it for the first time, I immediately got tears in my eyes. It's such a powerful and beautiful song, and I couldn't possibly have found a song with even better fitting lyrics to express my feelings. It's absolutely perfect.

**A/N: Thoughts? **

**Doodle91xxx: Thank you so much for your awesome review, it truly meant a lot to me.**

**Guest: The reason why I deleted it the first time is because the whole story was filled with grammatical errors. The second time was because I didn't want to write anymore and I didn't want anyone to read anything that I had ever written. At that time I felt lonely and like nothing mattered anymore. I wasn't really depressed, but I was lost. I had no idea who I really was, and that hurt. I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere. However now I've reposted this story because I found out that writing is one of the things that make me happy. Maybe it makes me weird, or at least I think it does, but that doesn't matter to me. This is what I love to do as an escape from reality. Hope this explains it.**

**brandelle . amador: Thank you so much for your review. Hopefully you like this chapter as well as the previous chapters.**


	9. A performance that makes my blood boil

**Kurt POV**

Rachel has just started singing and I notice that she is less confident than she normally is when she performs a solo in glee club. But I guess that makes sense since she's singing about her true feelings, which she doesn't do that often. Normally she sings some kind of ballad or pop song, and she tries to imagine or relive the emotions of the original singer. But she rarely uses her own. You can almost say that she's acting when she sings a song. Maybe that sounds ridiculous but it's not, at least I don't believe it is. It's her way to prepare for Broadway without having to rely on her own feelings and experiences all the time. Rachel once told me that it's less emotional draining to do it that way. Plus she doesn't feel confident enough to reveal some parts of herself.

Right now, I truly understand what Rach meant by that. I can see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice how deep in love she actually is. Maybe I underestimated how much feeling you can put into a song, because this is unbelievable. It's so beautiful that someone is capable of touching your heart just by singing a song.

Of course I already knew that Rachel's in love with Santana when she chose the song 'Hello" by Lionel Richie. But still, this performance is literally blowing my mind. Maybe I just didn't realize how she could be so in love with Santana, but she obviously is. How did I not realize this before? I'm her best friend, I should have noticed. Especially because her feelings for Santana are this strong. Although, I do realize that Rachel did not want me to find out. Plus I'm still astounded that she's in love with Santana because they aren't even friends.

However yesterday Rach finally took the time to explain to me and Chloe, why she loves Santana so much. It was the first time that she told us those little details like how she fell in love, what she loves about her and stuff like that. Secretly I was dying to know those things since I found out that she has got a crush on Santana. But I didn't want to force Rachel to talk about Santana, if she wasn't ready yet.

Chloe and I had been trying to figure it out on our own, but our crazy little theories didn't make any sense at all. Nonetheless, Rachel finally told us and I must say the things she told us were rather adorable. She likes the way that Santana stands up for her friends and fights for what she wants. Because everybody knows that Santana Lopez always gets what she wants and she won't go down without a fight. Rachel loves the way Santana's nose scrunches when she's nervous or laughing really loud. She adores the way Santana uses music to express herself when words aren't enough. Another thing that Rachel admires about Santana is the way she protects her loved ones, especially Brittany. Even though I know that deep down, it hurts Rachel because it shows how much Santana loves Brittany. But maybe one day, it will be Rachel who Santana will protect with her life. Also, Rach said that she wants to marry Santana one day and that she wants her to be the mother of her children. That part kind of freaked me out, because it was the first time that I realized how much love Rachel holds for Santana, even though she knows there's a chance that Santana will never feel the same way.

Rachel even told us that she loves Santana more than she loves herself. Of course, Chloe told her that she was crazy but now I'm actually starting to believe Rachel. You see it in the way she's singing right now and in her eyes. Her voice and eyes are just filled with so much emotion; it's almost making me cry.

I notice the tears in her eyes, but Rachel is currently still managing to keep on singing. She stares me deep in the eyes and I look back at her with a proud smile. I know that Rachel is looking at me because I'm the only one in this room who understands. I understand and know what this song means to her, and how much it hurts to sing it because Santana doesn't love her back (yet).

A couple of seconds later the song comes to an end and everybody starts clapping. I'm happy, because this is the kind of applause that she deserves. Even Finn is clapping; I just hope that this song didn't give him any false hope. Seriously, I hope that he knows that she wasn't singing about him, but with that fool, you never know.

**Rachel POV**

I raise my hand in the hope to get Miss Stewart's attention because I really want to perform my solo today. I don't think that I can wait any longer, otherwise I'd most likely back out. I'm so nervous, because all I can think about is that someone will figure out that the song that I chose is about my feelings for Santana. Even though today in glee club nobody knew that that song was about her. So maybe I'll be just as lucky in my after-school dance class.

When I think back to my performance in glee club a few hours ago, a smile automatically appears on my face. I had put all of my feelings and emotions into my performance, like I never did before. It felt so good to sing about something that has been so hard to talk about or to express. Apparently that's something that I need to do more often, because afterwards it gave me an applause I used to only dream about.

Hopefully, my dance assignment will go just as smoothly as my glee club performance. Even though the lyrics of this song, 'Girlfriend' by Avril Lavigne are rather bold. Plus when you dance to a song like that, you have got to ooze confidence, which is kind of my weak point. But that's because there are a lot of cheerleaders in my dance class and they love to point out that I could never compare to their beauty. They can be so mean sometimes, especially Quinn. But I'm guessing that that has got to do with the fact that I used to date Finn, her current boyfriend. She still thinks that I want him back, which is kind of absurd.

Anyway, I just hope that I will feel relieved after I perform it in front of the whole dance class. That is, if Miss Stewart would finally see that my hand is still raised. After more than two minutes, she finally notices me and says, "Yes Rachel, is there something you would like to ask or say?"

"Yes, can I perform my solo today?"

"Sounds good to me, Rachel. So what song did you pick?"

Before I answer I've already start making my way to the middle of the stage, which earns a few eye roles from Quinn, Jane and Stacey. They probably think that it's lame to have so much eagerness to perform a solo, but they have got no idea what this performance means to me. So I choose to ignore their reactions. "I chose 'Girlfriend' by Avril Lavigne."

"Great choice Rachel, show us what you got."

**Quinn POV**

What the hell, why is Rachel dancing to a song about stealing my boyfriend?! I mean who else could this song be about?! She's like almost literally telling me that Finn belongs with her instead of me.

When she finishes that song, I'll tell her exactly what I think of it. What kind of person chooses a love song about their ex-boyfriend if they broke up five months ago?! No scratch that, he broke up with her to be with me. Can't she just accept that she has lost, and that Finn picked me? Seriously it's kind of desperate if you still hope to get together five months after you've been dumped.

Finally the song is over and I waste no time to tell that midget exactly what I thought of her performance and I yell, "What the hell was that, dwarf?!"

Rachel turns her head and looks at me, confusion written all over her face. Then she stutters, "Wh-What do you mean, Quinn?"

"Don't play stupid Berry; you know exactly what I mean! You can't just perform a song about stealing somebody else's boyfriend. Especially not if it's my boyfriend, because he told me that you're after him again."

Rachel denies, "I'm not, I swear. I didn't choose this song because I want Finn back. Because I don't. I really don't, Quinn."

"If this song isn't about him, then the one you sang in glee club today probably was. That's right, I know about your little serenade in your precious little glee club. Finn told me all about it and about the way you kept looking at him, like you wanted him to kiss you. So back off bitch, because he's mine and mine only."

The hobbit looks like it's about to cry but before she can reply, San interferes, "What the hell, Q?! That's totally uncalled for; you should be the one backing off, not her. Maybe I'm not her biggest supporter, but that doesn't mean that she deserves that kind of crap after a performance like that. Who even said that Berry chose those song because of Finn?! It could have been any other guy for that matter! Just because apparently she sang a love song in glee club, doesn't mean that it's directed to Finn! Have you ever even realized that maybe not everybody wants to date that moron, you call a boyfriend?! And that maybe some people move on when they break up?"

Shit, I should have known that Santana was going to pick the midget's side. We all know that she doesn't like Berry, but she likes her a lot more than Finn. She never understood what I saw in him in the first place. Ugh, I hate arguing with Santana in public, because it makes me seem weak and I will not give the Berry that kind of satisfaction. Because after Santana's little speech I can already see her smiling a little bit and it makes me sick. So I snap, "What the hell Santana, I'm one of your best friends. I'm the one you should be protecting, not her! And let's face it, if that song wasn't about Finn, then about whom could it have been? It's not like she has been dating someone else since Finn! She's still fucking hung up on him, can't you see that? Or maybe, she did try to date other guys, but nobody wanted to date that thing!"

Santana rages, "Really Quinn, really, is this how it's going to be?! That was a low blow, and you know it! It doesn't matter about who she was thinking when she was dancing, Q! The assignment was dance with your emotions. Private emotions. So if that song expresses how she feels, then she should be able to dance to it without your obnoxious comments. I'm just so sick and tired that you always think that everything is about you and Finn, because it's not. Believe me Q, it's not."

Santana leaves right after her little rant and she leaves everyone including me speechless. This argument was supposed to be between Berry and me, not Santana and me.

**Brittany POV**

Quinn asked me to come over to her house, but ever since I got here there has been this awkward silence. Deep down I know that it has something to do with Santana, but I won't ask about it directly. Because then there's a chance that she would just put her walls back up and that she doesn't want to tell me how she feels anymore. I hesitate, "Are you okay, Q? Because you've been awfully quiet since I got here."

"Yeah sure, I'm just a little bit shaken up by my argument with Santana in our dance class."

"Is it because she chose to protect Rachel Berry instead of you?" I ask.

Quinn just nods her head slowly, and I know her well enough to know that she won't be able to admit that out loud. So I just decide to finally clear the air and tell her the truth and make her understand everything a little bit better. I sigh, "I know why Santana did it. She did it because she misses you, Quinn. Not because she likes Rachel better than you. Lately you and I have been hanging out a lot more without Santana, and she feels like she's losing her best friend. We used to be best friends, all three of us. But lately Santana and I, and you and I hang out separately. And that's why she defended Rachel, because she's mad. She's mad at you and mad at herself because she feels like her best friend is slipping away and she thinks there's nothing she can do about it. Besides you know that she isn't exactly fond of Finn, she never was."

Quinn looks up at me and utters, "You really think so, Brittany? You think that the only reason is that she misses me? Because I've been hanging out with her every Friday night at the dance studio."

I nod my head and say, "Yeah, I do and you used to hang out with her a lot more. Trust me, I know San well enough to understand why she does and says certain things. She just misses you, Q."

Quinn moves closer to me and pulls me into a hug. Then she whispers in my ear, "Thank you, Britt, for helping me understand. "

I pull away and I decide to talk about something else to lighten the mood, "So Q, I've been thinking about our plan to get San out of the closet. It'll probably be the hardest thing that I've ever done, but I'm going to break up with her tomorrow. Even though I'd better get her back as soon as possible."

"I know you will get her back, Brittany. I promise. And tomorrow, I'll be there for you because I know that it'll break your heart. But remember you're doing this for San, and it's the right thing to do. You'll get her back in no time, I promise."

"Thank you," I whisper before I pull her into another hug. Without her, I would probably have gone mad a long time ago. Tomorrow is going to be such a painful experience, but this is what San and I need. Because hiding our relationship isn't working anymore and this is my only chance to make her want to come out. 'Cause in the end, it should be her own choice to come out, I'm only motivating her by doing this.

**A/N: Thoughts?**

**Thank you for the reviews, I love all of them. They help me stay motivated and I really appreciate them. Hope you liked this chapter.**


	10. Just hold on, because I can't let go

**Brittany POV**

I still can't believe that I'm actually going to do this, tomorrow I'm breaking up with Santana. I know that that sounds weird, because I've been thinking about this for a while. But still, now it's really happening. Honestly, I don't know if I should feel scared, relieved, happy or sad. I'm mostly terrified about the fact that I'll break her heart, and that maybe I won't be able to fix it anymore. But that's a risk I have to take. Losing San isn't an option, but hiding forever isn't either.

In my heart I know that everything will work out just fine, because San and I belong together. She's the one, my forever. So I know that this plan will be worth the pain and the waiting in the long haul. Of course I'm scared because we're going back to the start and it took us so long to get here.

I still remember when San and I were just best friends. We were inseparable and we still are actually. Even when we were just friends, I already acted like a lovesick puppy. I don't even remember not liking or not knowing Santana. I have known her since I was in kindergarten, and from the first day I knew that she was going to be someone special to me. Even back then, when I didn't understand what true love meant, I loved her. I have always loved her, and I'll never stop.

Sometimes when other kids made fun of me, she was there to protect me. Santana was kind of like my secret guardian angel, and she still is. Everybody who even looks at me in the wrong way, will suffer the wrath of Santana. I don't approve of violence or lashing out with cruel words, but it's cute that she always tries to protect me. San doesn't have that many real friends. But the ones she has, she'll protect with her life.

When I was thirteen years old, I realized for the first time that I didn't want Santana to be my best friend but I wanted her to be my girlfriend. I would fantasize about what it would be like to kiss her, and if it would be different than kissing guys. And when that happened for the first time at a party when we were just playing spin the bottle, it blew my mind.

The way her lips gently grazed mine was the best feeling in the world. I can't even describe the feeling; all I knew was that it didn't feel like I was kissing my friend, but like I was kissing my soul mate. That sounds cheesy, but that doesn't make it any less true. After some loud cheering from the people that were surrounding us, I got snapped out of my thoughts because I had completely forgotten that we were playing spin the bottle. We both gently pulled away and a small blush appeared on both our cheeks.

That's when I guessed for the first time that San might harbor the same feelings towards me, because we've been sharing little kisses since then. Nothing big and it only happened when San and I would have a sleepover with just the two of us, but still I thought it was amazing. It was that moment that I became sure of the fact that we were meant to be together. I was still so young, almost fourteen, but I already knew that we were going to grow old together. I could see a future for us. Unfortunately Santana didn't know that yet when she was fourteen, and it took a lot of time to get to that point where we both were convinced that we're destined to be together.

I can still recall asking Santana to be my girlfriend when I had just turned sixteen years old. She was coming over to my house for another sleepover and I was incredibly nervous. My parents were out of town, which meant that Santana and I had the place to ourselves. For the first time in my life I cooked dinner, in the hope that she would like it, and she did. I remember that Santana kept on saying how delicious it was and that no one had ever done something that sweet just for her.

Even though I had almost burned the kitchen down, and the food kind of got burned, she still loved it. San started rewarding me for cooking dinner, by kissing me in a very intimate and passionate way. I took that as my cue to ask her to be my girlfriend and it broke my heart when she simply said 'no'. She freaked out and told me that we couldn't and shouldn't be together because we're two girls, and it's wrong to be gay. I was devastated that she felt that being together with me would be wrong. She ran out, because obviously she didn't expect that I was going to ask her to be more than just best friends.

One hour later, after she had had some time to think, she came back to my house. Santana kept on apologizing for letting me down and freaking out like that, but I understood. It was a big step and San wasn't ready to label our relationship.

But even though we didn't label our relationship that night, it still was one of the best nights of my life. Because after we had both stopped crying and apologizing, we decided to continue our slumber party and watch a movie together. And like always, we cuddled the entire time and occasionally we would give each other some little kisses. But that night, neither of us saw the end of the movie because our little kisses had turned into one big make-out session. It was like Santana was trying to show me how she felt about me without saying anything she wasn't ready for. Because that night was the first night that we did more than just some kissing. We had sex, no not sex; we made love for the first time. That's basically how we became friends with benefits, because San never mentioned my request about becoming my girlfriend again. So I gave her some time, not a label.

**Santana POV**

Currently Brittany and I are hanging out at my house in my room, like almost every night. But this time it is different, I feel like there's this weird tension between the two of us. I don't know what's going on but Britt is being kind of distant. I mean, we're watching her favorite movie and she's laying in my arms, but she hasn't given me one kiss or simply looked at me since the movie began. It's the first time I actually am going to see the end of 'The Notebook', because normally we would have been making out by now. I just hope that she isn't pissed off because I still haven't apologized to Q after our heated discussion yesterday.

The movie's almost over and I can't help but get a little bit nervous. The fact that she's being so distant is kind of scaring me, I just hope that everything's alright. I really don't feel in the mood to get into a fight with Brittany tonight, especially not over some silly discussion that I had with Q.

Lately Brittany and I have been getting into little discussions more frequently, mostly about coming out to our parents and friends. So maybe that's the reason that she's acting so weird tonight because her guard is up, because she's also tired of having these little arguments.

Every time we're together, Brittany keeps on bringing up how lovely it would be if we would just come out and it always leads to a discussion. So maybe she's trying to avoid that topic, by being more distant. Before I can keep on thinking about this weird tension between Brittany and me, she snaps me out of my thoughts by a gentle kiss on my lips. She mutters, "Hey babe, the movie's over and you're still staring at the screen."

Before I say anything, I pull her into a kiss which she tries to deepen. So I guess that's a good sign. I mumble against her lips, "Sorry Britt, I was just thinking about some stuff."

She turns around, so that she's practically lying on top of me in the couch, with her face only a few inches away from mine. "What kind of stuff, San?"

"I was just wondering why you're being so distant tonight?"

I see her eyes getting filled with tears, and I have got no idea what the hell I did to trigger that. The way she's looking at me right now, it's a look that I haven't seen before. She looks so fragile and heartbroken. It's like all of a sudden, there isn't any more light in her bright blue eyes. I pull her into a hug and try calming her down, "Shh, Shh, it's going to be okay, Britt-Britt. Whatever it is, it's going to be okay. I'm right here. I got you."

She pulls back from the embrace and looks me straight in the eye. She sniffs, "What if it isn't going to be okay, San?"

"What do you mean, Britt? What's going on? This isn't making any sense to me right now."

She stutters, "I, I, I can't do this anymore." She takes a deep breath and tears start rolling down her cheeks, before she continues, "Every day is struggle, and I'm done fighting. We need to set each other free again, because all of the hiding and the fake boyfriends are hurting me too damn much. I'm so sorry San, but I think that the only thing that could help both of us is if we break up."

What do call the moment when your whole world comes falling down? The moment that the person that you have loved since you first met, tells you that love isn't enough? I feel like somebody has just sucked all of the air out of my lungs, because I feel like it's impossible to breath. There are no words to describe the amount of pain that I'm feeling right now. It's like a part of me is dying, and I can't do anything to make it stop.

The tears start rolling down my cheeks, even though I'm trying so hard to fight them. I need them to stop, I need to be strong but there is nothing I can do to make them stop falling. Some foolish attempts at wiping them away, are only making me feel weaker.

"San, please just say something. Please," she pleads.

I start shaking my head, because I'm incapable of forming any words at the moment. It's like somebody is trying to strangle me and my throat has completely run dry. She tries to steady my head with her hands, but I pull away abruptly. I grab the pillow and bury my head in it, and I scream. I scream like I've never screamed before. It was a scream filled with so much pain, and so much heartache. But no matter how hard I scream, the pain isn't going to stop. It'll never stop because I love her so damn much.

By now, I'm crying so hard that sobs are racking my body. I feel like I'm going to be sick, like physically sick. I'm gasping for air and feel the need to hurl. Honestly, I never thought I could be in so much emotional pain, that it would have an effect on my body. But shit, this is so damn hard. I have built my whole world around her and I can't lose her. I just can't.

Brittany was my first love, and I can only hope that she will be my last. In the past, I used to resist falling in love with her. I tried so hard to fall in love with some boy, anyone but Brittany. However, I found out that you can't choose who you fall in love with because I fell madly in love with her. I tried so hard to fight that every single day and now that I have finally accepted the fact that we belong together, she's breaking up with me. That's so damn unfair! I need her more than air, so how could I possibly survive without her.

Finally after long minutes of pure crying and weeping, I speak up for the first time and plead, "Please, Britt, don't do this. Please, I need us, what we have is real. Please, don't kill what we have, not after all what we've been through to get here. Please. Please."

When I look at her, I notice that her eyes are red and puffy from all the crying, just like mine. I just don't understand how Brittany can do this, if apparently this is hurting her just as much as it's hurting me. She sobs, "I'm so sorry San, just know that you'll always be my first love and I don't know what the future will bring, but I want you to be my last. But for now, this is a goodbye, because I can't keep on hiding like this anymore. Sometimes love just isn't enough."

She stands up from the couch, and I quickly grab her wrist and whisper, "Don't go, Brittany. Please."

Brittany leans closer and gives me one last kiss before she mutters against my lips, "Goodbye, San. I love you."

As I watch her leave, I crumble down on the couch and the only thing I can mumble is, "I love you too."

Now that she has left, it feels like I'm going to pass out from all the pain. All I can hope is that I will feel numb soon, because I can't stand this kind of pain. I just can't.

I need Brittany; I need her just like I need oxygen. Without her I don't even know how to function, or how to love. How can I love if she isn't there anymore?! Shit, please make this nightmare stop! Because I can't take it anymore and it's making me fall apart.

**A/N: Thoughts?**

**And just in case you didn't know, I hate hurting Santana just as much as you guys do, but this was a critical move to make the pezberry endgame happen. It'll get better, but just know, that San and Rach will have a tough road ahead of them before they're ready to be in a relationship together. Just hang in there, and I'll to provide you some more pezberry interaction.**

**Also a special thanks to Doodle91xxx and Laurenknight13 for the long reviews, they really meant a lot to me. Thank you.**


	11. Paying close attention

**Rachel POV**

You've got to be kidding me?! What the hell is happening, this isn't making any sense right now. A few days ago, Santana performed that love song for Brittany – even though only people who know about their relationship realized that – and now Brittany has chosen a break-up song for the same assignment. They looked so happy the last couple of days, what the hell changed that?! This can't be true, can it? Brittany can't have broken up with Santana, she just can't.

I thought I'd be happy if they broke up, but surprisingly I'm not. Yes, I've been in love with Santana for quite a while now, but that doesn't mean that I wanted Brittany to break her heart. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, and for her to find true love. Which I thought that she did, so where did it go wrong?

If they did break up, then that would certainly explain why today at school Santana looked like she could burst out crying at any moment, and why she was lashing out with her vicious words to everybody who looked at her in the wrong way.

Currently, Brittany is dancing to a remix of Avril Lavigne's 'Not Enough' while she's almost crying. No scratch that, she's officially crying. Tears are rolling down her face, but she keeps on dancing.

Honestly, I don't understand why Brittany is dancing to that fucking song?! Has she completely lost her mind? What if anybody figures it out? Or doesn't she feel bad that Santana isn't here, because she probably can't even stand to be in the same room as her right now because of all the pain she has caused? Dancing is Santana's life; she should be the one here. Not Brittany.

All I know is that I will do anything to prevent this from ever happening again. I still can't believe that Brittany did this; doesn't she see how much Santana loves her? Doesn't she notice the way Santana looks at her? Does she not know how many times Santana got into fights just because they said something bad about her? Because I do, and I even though I hate to admit it, I have been so jealous of Brittany for all those things. And now, she just throws them away, like they meant nothing to her.

The song is finally over and before saying goodbye to everybody; I make my way over to my car. I get in and try to think of what I should do right now. I have often dreamed about Santana and me getting together because she and Brittany broke up, but this was never one of the scenarios. If they broke up, it would have been because they didn't love each other anymore or something like that, not that they love each other so much that it actually hurts them. Which is the case, or at least I think it is.

All I want to do right now is be Santana's friend, so that I can help her move on. I'm pretty sure that all she needs right now, is just a friend. She doesn't need me trying to hit on her, or anything like that. I need to be there for her and try to fix her heart, because I'm pretty sure that it's broken right now.

I start thinking of ways to support Santana and help her get through this rough period of being heartbroken. First I need to find a way to become her friend, because right now I don't think that she would even consider one. It hurts to know or to realize that I don't mean anything to her. But that doesn't mean that I can't change that. Maybe one day she'll look at me the way I look at her and the way she used to look or still looks at Brittany.

I have finally figured out what I'm going to do because I'm not going to sit back and let Santana go through this all by herself. Kurt told me that Santana and Brittany became a couple when they were both sixteen, which means that they were together for more than a year. Plus before they became girlfriends, they were friends with benefits. All of that means that even though they technically dated for about fourteen months, they dated much longer than that. And if you add the fact that those two have been inseparable since kindergarten, then it's quite obvious that Santana must be in so much pain and heartache right now.

Santana will probably want to go through this alone, but I think you shouldn't be all by yourself when you just got your heart broken. Instead you should be surrounded by people who love you and care about you, and let them help you move on. Besides I'm fairly sure that I will be able to help her get over Brittany, so that I can love her the way she deserves to be loved.

Anyway, I'm making my way over to my house and then I'm going to text Puck. Because in order to carry out my plan, I need someone to borrow me some camping gear and I know that Noah is the right guy for that. But I also need to talk to him because I know that he's Santana's best friend. He knows her better than anyone else, so he could give me some advice on how to approach this whole situation. Also I want him to know that I'm in love with her, and that I want her to be mine because I could love her unconditionally. But he's very protective of her, which means that I kind of need to get his permission first. Not that I think that that will be a problem, because Puck and I are friends and he knows that I only have good intentions and that I would never hurt San on purpose. Not many people know that we're friends, but I have known him since kindergarten and he has always kind of been there for me.

The second I get out of my car I grab my iPhone and quickly send Puck a text.

TO NOAH: "Hey Noah, I need to talk to you. Are you free anytime soon?"

FROM NOAH: "Sry bt dis isa bad timing"

That I didn't think about this sooner, of course he isn't available to talk to me right now. He's probably with Santana at the moment, and comforting her. Nevertheless, I really need to speak with him, because I'm not going to waste any more time. It already took me way too long to become Santana's friend, and I cannot wait any longer.

TO NOAH: "It's important, it's about Santana"

FROM NOAH: "CU sn, B there in 5"

TO NOAH: "Thanks, I'll see you soon."

I'm pretty nervous about meeting Puck, even though he's my friend, I'm afraid that he's going to doubt my intentions towards Santana. Brittany broke her heart, and I'm pretty sure that he's going to make sure that that doesn't happen ever again. If he doesn't think that I'm good enough for Santana, then he'll make sure that I don't stand a chance with her. I know he will. He just wants what's best for her, which is really sweet of him.

I can't help but continue to think about how Puck is such a good friend to Santana, and about how anxious I am about asking him for his permission to try and become a part of Santana's life. However I don't think that I'd stand a chance without his approval. If he believes in me and in the fact that I love her more than she'll ever know, then maybe he can tell her that I'm not as bad as she thinks I am once she gets to know me.

Nonetheless, I need to stop being so nervous because that won't do any good. Instead I should make some preparations for my plan to help Santana. That's why I needed Puck in the first place, I need him to borrow me some camping equipment. I should ask him for a tent, a sleeping bag and an air mattress if I want to spend the night in Santana's backyard.

My plan is pretty bold actually; it's so unlike me to do something like this. But I'm really determined to be a part of Santana's life. I finally have got my chance and I'm not going to waste it. So in case she doesn't want me to comfort her or to be around her - which will probably happen because I'm pretty sure that she would hate it if someone saw her crying - I'm going to camp outside of her house. I know that this is kind of silly and maybe even childish, but I don't know what else I can do to make her talk to me, she doesn't even like me for crying out loud. Santana isn't someone who likes to talk about her emotions, and definitely not with someone who's barely her friend. But I'm not going to back down and I'm going to show her that I really care about her. I love her and I need to help her, that's why I'm doing this in the first place.

Luckily it's Friday so we don't have any school tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. Now I just have got to ask my parents' permission and get my stuff ready to go camping in Santana's backyard or front porch for the weekend. Even though it's crazy, I don't think that they'll object to me spending the weekend in a tent in Santana's backyard. Because when I had confessed my true feelings for Santana to my dads, they were really happy that I told them. So I think that my parents will support me because they know how much she means to me. Besides, they always encourage me to follow my heart no matter what.

I get snapped out of my thoughts, the moment I hear Puck's car pull up in front of my driveway. He looks rather tired and unhappy, and if he is looking this way then I can't imagine how bad Santana must be looking right now. I greet him, "Hey Noah, I'm glad you could make it. How's Santana holding up after Brittany broke up with her?"

Puck looks at me like I just grew a second head; to say that he looks confused would be the understatement of the year. He snaps, "Wait what did you just say, Rachel? How do you know about Santana and Brittany? You haven't told anybody, right? Does anyone else know about their situation?"

"Calm down Noah of course I haven't told anyone. If Santana didn't want anybody to know about her relationship with Brittany, then I respect that. I would never throw her out of the closet, and I thought that you would know that, Noah!" I am actually pretty offended that he thinks that I would tell somebody about Santana and Brittany, but I decide to just shrug it off because he's probably just still shaken up by Santana and Brittany's break-up.

He mutters, "You're right, I'm sorry Rach. I know that you would never do something like that, but you have to give me some credit here. Because I also thought that Brittany would never break up with Santana, but it still happened yesterday."

"Me neither, and I definitely think that Santana didn't see this coming. I can't even imagine in how much pain she must be right now. So how is Santana holding up?"

He scratches the back of his head and sighs, "Honestly, she's a mess. I've never seen her this sad and it is killing me. So I don't like leaving her alone for too long if you know what I mean. So maybe you could just tell me why I needed to come over here as soon as possible, and what it has got to do with Santana."

"Yeah of course, basically, it's just that I want to help Santana and I want to be a part of her life. I need to be in her life because I love her, Puck. I love her so much and I can't seem to get her out of my head."

Puck is just smiling at me, while I expected him to be shocked when I would finally reveal the way I feel about Santana. It's like he already knew about my feelings towards Santana. This is incredibly odd because everybody, including him, knows that Santana can't stand me.

He beams, "I know, and I had a feeling that you were finally going to admit it."

"Wait, you knew. How's that even possible?"

He shrugs, "I always look out for San, even though she always assures me that she can take care of herself. But I like to make sure that nobody looks at her in the wrong way. This is why I couldn't help but notice that you had created a habit of paying close attention to Santana, just as I had. So I figured out that you love Santana, just like I love her, don't you? "

"Yes I do, more than you could possibly know."

**A/N: Thoughts?**

**Thank you for all the reviews, I truly appreciate them and they motivate more than you'll ever know. Also I want to inform you guys that I believe that Rachel is the one who can balance Santana out because I think that Santana is one sassy lady. Which is why their blossoming friendship will have to go through kind of a rough patch before they can become something more, at least that's my opinion. I just don't want to rush this story, and I hope that you understand that. Thank you.**


	12. Find a way to make my pain fade away

**Rachel POV**

I have been standing in front of Santana's house for at least half an hour and I still haven't rung the doorbell yet. It's kind of silly that I'm too scared to ring it, considering that the rest of my plan worked out the way I wanted it to. Puck and I had a nice talk and my parents gave me their approval to execute my plan, even if it would include me camping in front of San's house for a whole weekend.

Of course, I realize that it's stupid to back down now. I've come too far to just give up and go back home like nothing happened. I mean, what's the worst that could happen if I ring the doorbell and Santana opens the door? It's not like San is going to slap me; at least I don't think so. She will probably insult me, and my guess is that the insults will be crueler and harsher than usual. How could they not be, if she just lost the one person she loves? Her heart just got broken, so her guard will be up. It's better to be realistic about this, otherwise it'll be my heart that needs healing because San lashing out at me breaks my heart every single time.

Normally at school Santana is untouchable, everyone knows that at McKinley High. You can't hurt Santana because she has built enormous walls around herself, which she protects with her vicious words. Only few lucky ones are allowed to see her past that guard, they know the real Santana. I wish I did, but I don't. I know parts of the person she hides behind her mask at school, and I hope that one day I'll get to see that person all the time. It's the person I fell in love with. Anyway Brittany is one of those lucky ones, which is why she was able to break San's heart.

So this means that Santana must be feeling very broken and insecure right now. Or at least I expect her to be. And if you know Santana - even if you only know her a little - then you know that she isn't someone who's very outgoing or open about her feelings. Even though it is perfectly normal to feel hurt, broken, insecure… after you got dumped, San would never admit something like that. She won't show those emotions, and try to stay strong. I know she will, it's in her nature. However I want to break down her walls, so that she can lean on me when she's not strong. I could be her rock and help her through this, if she'll only let me.

I make up my mind after thinking way too much about this, and I finally put words into action and ring the doorbell. After a minute or so, the door hasn't opened yet and I am getting a bit impatient because I know for sure that Santana is home. So I decide to ring it again and I'll continue to ring it until she finally opens the door. I did not come here for nothing and I'm pretty determined to make Santana talk to me. Finally I've got a shot to become her friend, and I'm not going to waste it. I need her in my life, and I know that right now she needs me too. All I want is a chance to fix her heart.

After ringing the doorbell for what feels like the hundredths time, I finally decide to give up on this. Because let's face it, Santana isn't going to open the door any time soon. I wish she would, but I know better than that. She hates me, and the fact that she probably has been crying for the last couple of hours isn't very helpful either.

If Santana had opened the door and accepted my help, then maybe I didn't have to go through with this. But it looks like this is my only option left, so I'm going to camp out here tonight. First I check whether Santana's parents are home or not. Even though I already knew that they're on a business trip for a couple of weeks, I double-check it. I just want everything to go according to the plan, without any problems. Puck had informed me that Santana's parents are almost never home. So normally she stays over at his house when she's feeling lonely. He warned me that I couldn't tell anyone else about their little agreement of sleepovers when she's lonely, because Santana would kick his ass if she knew that he told someone.

I try to put up my tent, but it seems to be more difficult than I first thought it would be. The tent is pretty big, which makes it very challenging considering my height. After about one hour, I've finally put up the tent without any help. It was a struggle, but it was worth it. I'm ready to spend the night here, and hopefully I'll be luckier tomorrow and Santana will talk to me after she sees how persistent I'm about talking to her.

Right now, I'm reading a book in my sleeping bag and I can't help but wonder when Santana will finally realize that I'm camping in her backyard. And if she notices, will she ignore me and pretend that I'm not even here? Or will she come talk to me and ask me to leave? Will she be glad that there is somebody camping in her backyard so that she doesn't have to be alone tonight? Will she be disappointed that it's me?

After about another half hour of reading and wondering about San, I hear somebody approaching my tent. My guess is that Santana finally found out that there's a tent in her backyard and she's wondering who's in it and what that person is doing here. When somebody finally opens my tent, I know that I was right because now I'm sitting in front of a very angry looking Santana Lopez. By the look on her face, she is quite shocked that I, Rachel Barbra Berry, am the one who's camping in her backyard. After a few seconds I can tell that she's getting more and more irritated with my presence.

I notice her red puffy eyes, which she obviously tried to cover up with make-up, and it breaks my heart to see her look so broken. But before I get a chance to explain myself to her and break the silence, Santana speaks up, "Dwarf, what the fuck are you doing here?! I can't deal with your stupid shit right now."

"Well Santana, I just wan-" Before I can continue explaining myself she cut me off, "You wanted what, Berry? You wanted to camp in somebody's backyard uninvited? You're lucky that my parents aren't home and that I'm not calling the cops right now. Because seriously I don't need this shit right now, what the fuck are you even doing here?!"

"Santana, calm down. I know."

"Know what?! You don't know shit about me! What is there even to know about me, which makes you want to sleep in a fucking tent in my backyard?! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Are you really as stupid as you look?! I don't want you here, I want you to fucking leave!"

That last comment really stung, but I don't care. I'm willing to see through San's anger, to try and help her. I see Santana shaking with anger and clinching her fists; but maybe the truth will calm her down a bit or at least make her understand why I'm here. I owe her an explanation, so I start clarifying, "I'm not going to leave because I want to help you and support you. I know that Brittany broke your heart when she dumped you. So, I want to be your friend and help you move on."

Santana lets out a small sob, it's almost as silent as a whimper but I could still hear it. I see that she is struggling with herself, of course she didn't think that I already knew about her relationship with Brittany and she clearly doesn't know what to do right now. She cries, "How do you know, Berry? I can't believe this is fucking happening right now. You've probably already told the whole damn school that their head cheerleader is gay. I mean, you must have after all the shit I've put you through. I can already imagine everyone gossiping about me. Shit."

"No no no, I would never do something like that. I swear I haven't told anyone about your secret. I really didn't. And I hope you do realize, that I meant it when I said that I'm here because I want to be your friend."

Santana looks less pissed off when I said that I didn't tell anyone about her and Brittany, but I can tell that she still doesn't believe me completely. She wonders, "Why?"

"Because I don't believe that you are the person you pretend to be. I really do care about the real you, the one you try to hide at school."

"Now what's that supposed to mean, midget?"

"I just don't think that you're really as cruel as you appear to be. You just use insults and harsh words to protect your heart. I know you do."

"You know shit, Berry."

"You can deny it all you want, Santana, but you and I both know that I'm right."

Instead of responding, Santana leaves without saying another word. She has left me all alone. I never thought she was the kind of person to just walk away and pretend that nothing had happened.

I decide to call it a night, since it is already eleven pm. I just hope that tomorrow, she'll at least talk to me a bit more instead of walking away from me and completely ignoring my presence.

After twenty minutes or so I hear someone unzip my tent and I'm so scared. Because San left me alone twenty minutes ago, so now it has to be someone else. Maybe some kind of creepy, old, perverted man. My fear goes away immediately when I see that it is actually Santana who has returned. Apparently she went inside to grab a sleeping bag for herself. Now, she is putting her sleeping bag next to mine. Seriously, I can't believe that she came back. She actually came back. Santana doesn't even know how happy she is making me right now, because I kind of underestimated how scary sleeping by yourself in a tent actually is. But I don't know why she came back though, so ask her, "Why did you come back, Santana?"

She turns her head so that she's facing me and sighs, "I wasn't going to let you sleep all by yourself in a tent, Berry. Who knows what kind of creeps are out there?! And we both know that you're not really capable of defending yourself."

Besides the fact she has just underestimated my abilities to look after myself, I'm pretty sure she just told me that she's going to sleep next to me because she wants to protect me. "I can perfectly look after myself, but I must admit I feel a lot more comfortable with you here. It's kind of intimidating sleeping alone in a tent."

"Then why the hell would you want to sleep in a tent in somebody's backyard all by yourself?"

"Because I want to be your friend and help you through this. You just got your heart broken, so I wasn't going to let you go through this all by yourself. I care about you and I want to fix your heart, even if that means sleeping in your backyard because that's the only way to make you talk to me."

Santana muffles a small "Thanks" and with that we both fall asleep. Who would have thought that I would be sleeping in a tent with her? This is definitely some progress. Honestly, I think it's truly amazing, and I can't wait to find out what tomorrow will be like with her.

**Quinn POV**

A few hours ago, Brittany performed that song about the break-up in our dance class, and she hasn't stopped crying ever since. After the performance, I drove her home immediately because she literally broke down in front of the whole dance class at the end of the song. When I got her home, we went to her room so that she could sit on her bed while I could hold her. In fact, I'm still holding her and I'm still rubbing her back to try and calm her down. There are sobs racking through her body and Brittany keeps on crying hysterically. It hurts seeing her this broken, but I'll just keep holding her in my arms until I can take a part of her pain and heartache away. Even if it's just a tiny piece, I just want to help her. She's my best friend.

I know that she's completely heartbroken right now, but Brittany knew that this was the right thing to do. The fact that she was Santana's secret was slowly killing her, and now not being with Santana is killing her. But in time, Santana will come back around and she will finally come out to her parents and friends so that she can get back together with Brittany.

I'm pretty sure that Britt and San will get back together soon. Because I don't think that Santana will be able to handle the fact that Brittany is dating someone else. Furthermore, I have already set up a date for Elijah and Brittany. Elijah doesn't know about the history between Brittany and San. I just told him that Brittany just had a tough relationship and that she was going to break up with the guy. Yeah, I told him that it was a guy because otherwise I think he might be able to figure out that it's Santana, and that is definitely not part of the plan. I also told Elijah, that Brittany isn't really looking for a serious relationship. He was completely fine with that, but he told me that it never hurts to try.

I do realize that this is going to hurt Santana, but this way she will realize that Brittany isn't going to wait for her forever. So if she wants Brittany back, which she definitely will, then she has to come out to her friends and family. It will be hard for Santana to come out, because it's a big step, but she can't hide who she is forever. In the end, I think that this plan is going to do both of them a favor.

**A/N: Is anyone still reading this?**


	13. Tomorrow is another day

**Santana POV**

I can't fucking believe this shit! How low have I actually fallen?! I feel like a complete loser because I'm sleeping in a stupid tent in my own fucking backyard with Berry. This is so not badass, and more than humiliating. If anyone would find out about this, they would most definitely laugh at me. Even I would laugh at me, because it's freaking pathetic.

What's even more pathetic is that I actually like her presence right now, while normally I can't stand to be around her. Not that I've spend time with Berry before, and why should I have? She's on the bottom of the social ladder and I'm on top. We're not meant to hang out or be friends. Maybe we could have been friends if she was a little more popular, but we'll never find out because I refuse to risk my popularity. It's the only thing that makes it possible for me to survive high school and protect Brittany. Maybe that sounds harsh, but it's the way it is. We aren't meant to be friends, which makes it so hard for me to understand that Berry is sleeping next to me right now. Even though she annoys me more than I could describe sometimes, it's still nice to know that someone cares enough about me to pull a stunt like this. But still, not even this is a big enough distraction from the pain that I have been feeling since Britt broke up with me. How could it? I've been in love with her for as long as I can remember and I've built my whole world around her.

Honestly, I believe that it's kind of weird that I actually like listening to Berry's sleeping noises; I think they are kind of comforting. It's probably because she makes me feel like I'm not alone and that someone does worry about me besides Puck obviously. I mean, come on Berry must care about me a lot, because even though I don't know a lot about her, I do know that she isn't the type to just go out camping in somebody's backyard. And definitely not in mine, after all the shit I've put her through. I have to give her props for the nerve she had to pull off this little stunt of hers. It's about the only nice thing that has happened today.

I still can't believe that Brittany broke up with me yesterday. It's so hard to accept that I've lost her. I lost the one person that I love more than life itself. She's my soul mate, my forever. We have been best friends for as long as I can remember and we did everything together. Absolutely everything. We used to be attached by the hip, and now I feel so damn lost without her. She's the only person who knows me inside and out. Brittany is the only one who I could talk to without using any words. I love her so damn much, and not having her by my side anymore is killing me.

Before I can recall some more memories or think about other reasons why Brittany is my soul mate, I feel the tears streaming down my face. I can't believe that I'm such a wimp, that I'm so weak that I'm actually crying silent tears next to a sleeping Berry in a stupid tent. I'm trying incredibly hard to stop crying, but I can't stop and it's killing me. I hate not being in control of my emotions, but it's kind of hard to pretend that everything is okay when you feel like someone just ripped your heart out. It's just, I really thought that I was Brittany's soul mate too, but apparently I was wrong about that. My soul mate would have waited for me to come out to my parents and my friends, because if you think about it, what's waiting a couple of months or even a few years when we were going to spend forever together. So, now it feels like I'm missing my other half and I feel so damn miserable and empty without her.

**Rachel POV**

After Santana came back to the tent, I fell asleep rather quickly. I was exhausted and because I realized that Santana wasn't going to talk any time soon, I decided that it would be best to get a good night's rest. However right now I'm fully awake and it's only three am. I've just opened my eyes after hearing some muffled noises, which are obviously coming from Santana. When I turn around very quietly in my sleeping bag, I spot something that I never want to see again. I see Santana who looks utterly broken with tears streaming down her face; I have never seen her look so hurt before.

San is lying on her back, so I don't think that she already has noticed me. I don't think that she even knows that I'm awake or that I'm looking at her. I decide to hide my face a little bit more in my sleeping bag, so that there is no chance that she would know that I'm witnessing this moment. Because I can see that she is trying to get a hold of herself, and to stop weeping. Plus, I know that she hates to look fragile, even though crying after getting your heart broken is anything but weak. It just shows that you really love that person and that it kills you that they don't love you back anymore. Or because that person thinks that it's better to move on instead of holding on to the relationship, and you aren't ready to let go yet.

I hate the fact that Brittany is doing this to her. I know that she loves Santana, and Santana probably loves her more than she loves herself. But just because Santana isn't ready to come out yet, Brittany broke up with her and broke San's heart in the process. It just isn't fair; I would never do something like that to Santana. If I would be lucky enough to be loved by Santana, I would cherish her and give her heart a break instead of breaking it.

Already half an hour has passed and Santana is still silently crying. But I think she is going to pass out any moment because she must be completely spent.

When I originally thought of this plan and when I decided to go camping in her backyard, I never thought this was going to happen. I never thought that Santana would be crying herself to sleep right next to me, and it breaks my heart that even though I'm here, she still wants to deal with everything on her own. She pretends that she is doing okay with handling the situation, but when she thinks that I can't see her, she breaks down crying. Right now, I just want to hold her and tell her that everything is going to be okay. But if I would do that, she would probably just push me away and tell me to back off. However, maybe tomorrow I will be able to make her see that Brittany isn't the only one who can love her.

**Puck POV**

Today has been such a shitty day; San is hurting so badly right now. Moreover I hate seeing her like this; she's like my little sister. We're more than just best friends, we're family. I do everything I possibly can to protect her, and I thought that Brittany would do the same. But apparently I was wrong about that; I still can't believe that Brittany gave up on Santana just like that.

Unfortunately tomorrow will probably be even worse. Because I know San better than I know myself, and she is terrible at dealing with her feelings and with emotional pain. This means that we haven't seen the worst yet, the crying and sobbing was only the beginning.

I have known Santana my whole life and she has definitely been hurt before, and every time she would struggle to overcome that hurt I was there to support her. Even though the way she deals with being rejected, normally hurts other people in the process. Usually, she would come to me because she knows that I won't ask any questions and that I will just be there for her, and then we would go to a party together and get really wasted. She tries to forget her problems by drinking more than she probably should, and that is coming from me. Most times, it ends up with Santana having a one-night stand with some random jock. Which is the part that usually hurts people. Some people don't understand why she does it, why Santana Lopez sleeps with somebody she doesn't even know or care about. But I do, I understand. Sometimes you just need to feel loved and you need to feel wanted, even if it's just some random hook-up who provides you that feeling. I'm not saying it is okay to deal with rejection by sleeping with somebody else, but I understand why she does it.

When Brittany broke Santana's heart, I knew that it would hurt her more than she had ever been hurt before. So I fear that she won't be able to handle this break-up the right way. I need to find a way to make sure that San doesn't do anything foolish, like she used to do before when she was rejected. Because this time it could also affect somebody else's feelings, namely Rachel's feelings.

I feel bad for Rach, because I have known for a while now that she is in love with Santana while San doesn't even like her, at least not yet. Anyway I just hope that San doesn't sleep with some random person or get completely wasted in front of Rachel, because I don't think that Rach will be able to handle that. Besides I really want to make sure that she doesn't get hurt, she doesn't deserve that. Not after her efforts to become Santana's friend. I must say I never thought she would have the balls to go camping in Lopez's backyard, but I guess love does strange things to people.

The last few months I saw the way Rachel looked at Santana, I could see that she truly loves her. Maybe in time, Santana will see this too. Maybe she will realize that somebody else can love her the way Brittany did and that she can love that person back with the same amount of love. Rachel is going to have a hard time to become Santana's friend and even a harder time if she wants something more. But I know Rachel and she won't give up that easily, and she shouldn't give up on Santana.

San is like my little badass sister and I know that she is worth fighting for. It might take a while to get through her walls, but it's definitely worth it. Therefore, tomorrow when I go check up on Santana, I will make sure that she doesn't do anything stupid to forget her pain and I will help Rachel to become her friend. Because San could use a good friend, because we all know that Quinn is taking Brittany's side.

**Brittany POV**

This is officially the worst date that I have ever been on. I can't even remember why I agreed to do this in the first place. Why did Quinn think that I would enjoy a date with Elijah on the day after my break-up with Santana and why the hell did I agree to this?! This is way too soon to be even thinking about dating someone new. Even though it isn't a real date because I'm technically pretending to date Elijah to make San jealous, but it's still too soon. This is like pouring salt on my wounds, and it hurts like hell. Seriously, it's like I can't stop thinking about her, I can't even focus on the story that Elijah is telling me at this moment.

I wonder how Santana is feeling right now; I just hope that she has somebody to take care of her. I just hope that she isn't alone right now; she needs someone to support her, like I have Quinn to support me. But my guess is that Puck will be there to take care of San, even though I'm not sure if I really like that.

The last time Puck took care of her was when she was struggling with accepting her sexuality, and that didn't go too well at all. San didn't want to accept that she had fallen in love with me - even though we both knew that she - and she tried to fight that. I remember that I tried to tell San that everything was going to be okay and that the gender shouldn't matter because love is love. But she pushed me away and she tried to run away from her feelings instead of dealing with them.

So Santana went to Puck, because unlike me he doesn't ask what's wrong. He doesn't ask her any questions at all; he just tries to be her best friend by helping San to forget her problems even if it's just for one night. Plus the way they try to forget her problems, is not the best way if you ask me. Usually they go to a party and they get extremely drunk. The last time, Santana slept with two different football jocks in one night. I was so mad when I found out about that, she truly hurt my feelings. I didn't understand how she could sleep with someone else when I had just told her that I'm in love with her.

Afterwards she finally realized that no matter how many guys she would sleep with, the feelings she had towards me wouldn't change or go away. So once she had realized that, she could start acknowledging it and accepting her sexuality. So maybe it wasn't the best way to handle the situation, but at least it helped her coming to grip with her feelings.

I get snapped out of my thoughts when I feel someone shaking my arm. I look up and I see that it is Elijah, I probably zoned out a little bit too much. "Brittany, Brittany, were you even listening to what I was saying?"

"I'm sorry Elijah, I was just thinking about some stuff. I didn't mean to be rude and ruin our first date."

"You didn't ruin it; in fact it's perfect because it's with you."

Did he really just say that? OMG that's so incredibly cheesy. If San would be here instead of Elijah, she would say romantic things without being corny. She would say romantic things because she means them, not just some pick-up lines that you could say to any girl. I snarl, "You're just saying that to get in my pants."

"No I'm not; I swear that I take this date seriously. You have no idea how long I have been waiting to take you out to Breadsticks for a nice date. You can't believe how happy I was when Quinn helped me to set up this date with you. I really like you Brittany, and all my intentions are sincere because you only deserve the best."

I snap, "Well, maybe I already have the best."

"Euhm, I thought you had just broken up with someone, at least that what's Quinn told me. Because if that isn't the case then I don't know why I would stay and waste my time if I don't even stand a chance with you."

"Stay!" I blurt out because I notice that he is going to stand up and leave. Quinn would kill me if I screw up this date and therefore our plan to make Santana jealous. I plead, "Just stay Elijah, I want to be on this date, I really do. It's just a very difficult and complicated break-up that I've been through. It's still fresh in my memory and I'm just heartbroken. I'm trying to move on, but it's really hard since we dated for more than a year."

Apparently my little speech worked because he eases back into his chair, which means that Elijah is going to stay. He apologizes, "I'm sorry, Brittany. I was overreacting. Apparently, I underestimated how much you would still be affected by your recent break-up. But you have to know that I really like you and I'll wait for you if I have to. You don't have to be my girlfriend right away, because you're obviously still processing your break-up. But I want to help you do that because you're worth waiting for."

"That's sweet Elijah, and you know what, I'm really starting to enjoy this date."

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews, I truly appreciate them. If you want me to update faster, you should review more because those really keep me motivated. (I'm not forcing you, it's just an idea.) Thank you.**


	14. Try and make this heartache go away

**Rachel POV**

This morning Santana has been awfully quiet and of course she pretended like she didn't have her heart broken just a few days ago. Even though she is trying to mislead me and pretend that everything is okay, I know that she's not over it yet. I mean, come on, yesterday she was silently crying in the middle of the night. Anyway, I'm going to try to keep her mind of Brittany for the rest of the day. Hopefully that plan will work out, because I don't want her to shut me out. Not when I'm this close to actually becoming her friend, this is my only chance if I want her to love me back one day.

Before I get a chance to try and talk to Santana, I notice that Puck has arrived and he's coming my way. He is probably here to check up on Santana and me, which is sweet and understandable since he's her best friend. Plus, I kind of think that right now, he's her only 'real' friend. He's the only friend that she has left that knows who she really is underneath all the walls she has built around herself, since Quinn hasn't left Brittany's side since the break-up.

It's kind of sad that Santana doesn't want anybody to know the real her. Maybe she's scared that others won't accept her, but it's still kind of sad. It must be so damn hard to put up an act in front everyone, even your parents. I do understand that she does it to protect herself, but that doesn't make it any less sad. I hope that Santana knows that I would never hurt her the way Brittany did, and that she'll learn to trust me. I want San to be comfortable enough around me to let her guard down for me.

Puck has approached me and asks, "Hey Rach, how's San holding up?"

"Good morning Noah. Honestly, I think she's a mess even though she's trying to hide her feelings and act tough. I know that she doesn't want to cry in front of me, especially because I'm not even her friend. At least not yet. But it kills me that she feels like she has to pretend to be okay and be somebody she's not. And even though she puts up a mask, I'm still able to see the hurt in her eyes and it breaks my heart. It really does."

Before I can even register what is happening, I get pulled in a hug by Puck. He keeps on whispering soothing things in my ear, because apparently I've started sobbing during my little speech without even realizing it. I just love her so much and I wish that I could make her pain go away. Maybe I will but I already know that it will probably take a while. However Santana is worth waiting for.

After a few minutes I manage to stop weeping and Puck speaks up, "Rach, I know that everything will be okay because even though San can be really stubborn, she will come around if you just give her some time. She's never been good at dealing with her feelings and that's kind of the reason that I'm here to check up on you guys. And also to check if you survived a night in Lopez's backyard, because I didn't know if you would survive a pissed off, angry and feisty Latina."

He chuckled at his last sentence and I can't help but let out a little giggle. Even I thought that last night would have been terrible, but it went pretty well considering the situation.

I grin, "Yeah I know, she even slept next to me in a sleeping bag. Santana said that she didn't want something to happen to me because then it would have been her fault because she left me alone in a tent in her backyard. But still, it amazed me that we actually camped together in her backyard."

"Wow, I'm impressed. Didn't see that one coming. Maybe you aren't her friend yet, but I got a feeling that you're getting there. Anyway, I'm going to go inside and talk to San. Or do you want me to stay with you for a little bit longer?"

"No, you should go. I think she could really use her best friend right now."

**Santana POV**

Even though the day before yesterday was one of the worst days in my life because I had lost the love of my life and also my best friend, today has been kind of tolerable. Of course there were moments on which memories about Brittany invaded my brain, and of course those memories made me heavyhearted. It would have been kind of weird if they didn't. But there were also a lot of moments on which I actually had fun. It was nice to have Berry around for one more day, to make me forget my pain even if it's only for a couple of moments.

Berry and I watched a couple of movies, and to my surprise she didn't suggest we watch some kind of musical crap. She even made me laugh a couple of times when she tried to imitate some scenes from the movie. I know she did it to cheer me up, and to my surprise it kind of worked. Even though I wouldn't tell this to anyone, I kind of like Berry hanging around. It definitely beats getting drunk with Puck like I would normally do. But I do like the fact that he came to check up on me this morning.

Besides Puck also gave me some good advice, he said that I should give Berry a chance because once I would get to know her, I would see that she isn't that bad at all. So I did, and I hung out with Berry instead of telling her to mind her own business instead of mine. And I must say, Puck was right, she isn't as lame as I thought she would be. I expected her to force me to talk about my relationship with Brittany or my feelings, but instead she didn't even bring it up. Even though I know that she has like a million questions that she would like to ask me, she didn't because she knows that I'm not comfortable with that and I appreciate that.

Anyway since we both got a little bit hungry we decided that we should go and get something to eat. We decided to order some take out from Breadsticks because they have also got some vegan dishes for Rachel and it's my favorite restaurant. So now we're on our way to go and get it.

Once we get there, I spot something that I really didn't expect to see. I see Brittany and Elijah sitting at a table; it kind of looks like they are on a date or something. Rachel notices it too because she immediately tells me that maybe it isn't what it looks like. She informs me that she will go and get our order so that we can get back to my house as soon as possible. I am kind of relieved that I don't have to go inside with her and risk Britt seeing me.

While I am waiting outside, I keep looking at Brittany and Elijah's table and I am trying to figure out if they are on a date or not. Maybe they are just friends. It's not like Brittany would already be dating someone new, we broke up two days ago. Plus, she said she loved me even though love sometimes isn't enough. But still that doesn't change the fact that she loves me, so this can't be a date. However a few moments later, I feel like my heart breaking all over again because I spot them kissing. It's just a peck, but that doesn't mean that it hurt me any less.

I can't believe that she would kiss somebody a few days after our break-up; I thought that she loved me more. I am trying to hold back the tears, and before I know it Berry pulls me into a hug. Apparently she has also witnessed the kiss and she rushed out of the restaurant with our order to come and comfort me. Normally I don't like it when people hug me, except when it's Brittany of course, but this hug kind of feels nice. Yes, hanging out with Berry might be a good thing after all.

**A/N: Thoughts? **

**And thank you for the reviews! Especially Doodle91xxx and LaurenKnight13 for reviewing each chapter, it really means a lot to me. Thank you! **


	15. The aftermath of the date

**Quinn POV**

Honestly, I think I made the right choice when I offered Elijah a date with Brittany. He sent me a private Facebook message saying that he wants to take her on a second date, and that he had a great time with Brittany. However, Britt didn't seem that enthusiastic when I called her this morning to ask her how it went, so I'm on my way over to her house right now.

I'm sort of worried that she might be feeling lonely and that she's missing Santana terribly, even though it has only been a few days since they broke up. However maybe the date reminded her of Santana, and the fact that they really did break up. Or was it because Elijah was, most likely, coming on too strong? Honestly, I have got no idea, but that has happened before when it comes to San and Britt. They're just so damn hard to figure out.

I have always known that what they had was special; I have known it since I was a kid. The three of us were best friends, but even at a young age I knew that the friendship between the two of them was different from the friendship between the three of us. Maybe you think it's crazy, or impossible to sense that they were in love, but it isn't. Back then I didn't know that it was love that made their friendship different, but I knew that it was something.

Anyway, I have known both of them since I was in kindergarten, and we instantly became friends. Actually, I was friends with Brittany first because we had met before kindergarten since our moms are close friends. Santana became friends with us a month or so after the first day in kindergarten. Even back then she was our protector, like she still is today and probably always will be.

There was this kid named Connor and as usual, he was bullying Brittany and me. He always made fun of our clothes, our hair, the games we played, the drawings we made... Basically he made fun of us and everything we did. Of course I wasn't exactly an angel, and I tried to scare him away by calling him some mean nicknames, which obviously didn't work.

Of course, Santana being the badass she was, even at a young age, noticed the bullying and decided to step in. Instead of using her tongue to lash out at him like I tried to do, she used her fists. I still remember my jaw hitting the ground, because a girl succeeded in making Connor cry. The famous Connor, resident badass, cried because a girl had hit him. It changed everything and finally made the bullying stop. In that moment Santana was my hero, and she became our friend. Honestly I'm thankful that Connor tried to ruin our sandcastle and go over the top with his insults that day, otherwise we wouldn't have become this close to Santana.

Ever since, it has been the three of us against the world. We all had our fair share of problems, pain and heartache, but that didn't matter. Because in the end, we still had each other and it would always be that way no matter what. Obviously, we have had our differences and we have had some fights, but at the end of the day we always support each other. Santana even supported me when I started dating Finn, even though I know that she truly hates him. Sometimes she still lashes out at him and then we have an argument about it. But I know that she's trying her best to be nice to him, and to me the effort is all that counts. Plus, I know that if things would get serious between Finn and me, or if there would be a gigantic problem, that San would be the first one to support me and help me out.

Santana is a complex person with multiple layers, some you like and some you don't like, but it's what makes her unique. There's nothing that I would change about Santana if I would have the chance, because there's no one quite like her. I have never had another friend like her, someone who would literally give up their own life in order to save yours. She's so damn important to me, but I know that I'm equally important to her. Unfortunately, that's why San had so much trouble confessing to me that she's gay.

Actually, San didn't tell me, because I had walked in on Brittany and her in a compromising position. I had been feeling blue about that for such a long period, until Brittany convinced me that the only reason that Santana didn't tell me was because she loves me so much. At first that didn't make any sense at all, but afterwards it truly did. She was so scared of disgusting me or something like that, that she decided to not tell me until she could accept it herself. Because San used to be repulsed by herself, and she feared that I would feel the same way about her. Plus, she knows that I come from a very Christian and conservative family, which isn't exactly open-minded. However I wish that she had known that nothing she could do or say would make me hang up on her, or make me hate her. I love her, she's my best friend and I would do anything for her. I wish that she would have known that.

Brittany on the other hand, has always been the one I could ask for advice. Whether I had some problems with my family, or that little bitch Rachel Berry was trying to steal Finn away, or I had another fight with my sister, Brittany would always be there to listen and help me. Afterwards, she would often tell Santana, because San is someone who could actually solve them while Britt just gives me advice and provides me the comfort that I desperately need in those moments.

When it comes to her friends, Santana would do anything. Like literally anything. This one time she had yanked Stacey's hair and gave her a black eye when I told Santana that Stacey had the nerve to insult me and call me a whore because I 'stole' Finn from the hobbit. That bitch, she shouldn't have meddled in my business. If Berry and Finn were truly in love, then I wouldn't have even been able to steal Finn away in the first place.

Anyway, thankfully Brittany was there when that fight with Stacey had happened. She stopped Santana when she was fighting with Stacey before things got even more out of hand. Most people are surprised when they witness Santana in a fight, because she never backs down. They probably think that she couldn't throw a punch because she looks like the typical beautiful cheerleader, wearing expensive clothes and makeup, who doesn't like to get her hands dirty. However, even though Santana is like crazy beautiful, she can definitely throw a good punch. Even though she lashes out with her vicious words more often than she actually fights. Thank God, that Brittany has always been there to calm Santana down when she got in another 'heated argument'.

It has always been that way, whenever Santana would lose her temper then Brittany would be the only one who was able to calm her down. It was that way when we were kids, and it hasn't changed ever since. Honestly, I don't understand, and I probably never will why Britt is the only one who has got that effect on her. Not even Puck or I have been able to make her regain her composure when she has lost her calm. So, that's another thing why I have always been thankful for Brittany. Without her, I wouldn't have been able to talk some sense into Santana when she needed it. Basically, without the two of them, I wouldn't have been who I am today and I would have been lonely.

So now, it's time to return the favor and make sure that Brittany isn't lonely like I suspected when I heard her on the phone earlier today.

Finally five minutes later, I arrive at her house, and when she opens the door I know that I've been right. She has been feeling alone, but even worse than I suspected. Brittany has red puffy eyes, her hair is a mess and she looks like she has been crying all morning. Immediately I pull her into a hug, and whisper sweet nothings into her ear. She literally breaks down in my arms, sobbing heavily. It breaks my heart seeing her like this, so I plan on fixing it. I take her to her room and ask her to get into her bed; she looks confused but does it anyway. I walk over to her TV and I put on a nice feel better movie. I get under the covers next to her, and I hold her in my arms. We don't talk, but in that moment words aren't necessary. She is missing Santana, and there is nothing I can do to make that feeling stop. All I can do is try to make her feel like she's not alone, which is exactly what I am doing right now.

The movie ends and I notice that Brittany is fast asleep. She literally cried herself to sleep in my arms. Since today is Sunday, I decide to stay with her. She shouldn't be alone when she wakes up, so I'm going to be right beside her.

Twenty minutes later I feel her stir and I whisper, "Hey Britt, how are you feeling?"

"Honestly, lonely and like a mess, but thank you for being here Quinn. It really means a lot to me."

"No problem, but try to get some more rest. It'll be good for you."

She hesitates and asks, "If I do, will you still be here when I wake up?"

"I'll always be here for you," I reply and with that Brittany falls back asleep and this time without any worries because she knows that I'll be here when she wakes up.

**Elijah POV**

Yesterday was by far one of the best nights of my life. Honestly, I had such a great time with Brittany. Of course, at first things weren't going as smoothly as I wanted them to go. But after about one hour when I threatened to leave, something changed and the date became almost instantly a lot more enjoyable. Somehow when she felt like she was losing her chance with me, she started opening up a lot more. I even got a little kiss, and even though it was just a peck, it made me see fireworks. Seriously, I can still feel the butterflies just thinking about it. I had even sent Quinn a personal message on Facebook to thank her for setting up this date.

That date literally made me the happiest man on earth. Okay, maybe that is a little bit exaggerated, but that doesn't change the fact this date with Brittany did make me feel extremely happy. It made me fall even more in love with her than I already was which is saying a lot because I have been crushing on her for quite a while now. So hopefully, in the near future she will become my girlfriend. Although I do realize that that might take a while considering she just broke up with someone. This reminds me, that I want to find out who that ex of hers is.

Although that finding out who her previous boyfriend was isn't exactly my biggest worry right now. All I need to be worrying about right now is how to make Brittany fall in love with me. I need her to be my girlfriend; I just know that she's perfect for me. Even though Santana warned me that I shouldn't even be thinking about dating one of the cheerleaders in her squad because they are out of my league, I know deep down that I am good enough to be dating one of them. So when the time comes and Santana finds out that I'm dating Brittany, I won't be scared and I won't back down if she tries to threaten me again. But that's something about which I should worry in the future, not now. Because now it's time to woo Brittany and treat her the way she deserves to be treated, like a princess. This is why I want to take her out on another date, and make it really romantic.

I already have got lots of ideas for a second date with Brittany. Maybe we could go to one of those old drive-in movie theaters, and then I could hire a pick-up in which we both could relax and cuddle during the movie. Also we could have a picnic at the park, and feed the ducks at the pond. Or maybe do some stargazing, and just cuddle in my backyard. However, in the end it doesn't matter what I do, as long as I can do it with Brittany. This reminds me that I need to be careful about this and to take baby steps. Because I know she isn't ready for a relationship yet. That was very clear to me when she declined my Facebook relationship request. It kind of hurt my feelings, but she explained that it wasn't because of me. Apparently she just isn't over her ex yet and she needs to let go first. Also, she told me that in time she might be ready to be in a relationship again and asked me to be patient.

Anyway, I feel like I'm going crazy without Brittany around. Besides, I'm kind of lonely, so I'm going to send Brittany a text to meet me at the park in a few hours.

TO BRITTANY : "ey, wanna go 4 a wlk 2 d prk W me? Xoxo"

FROM BRITTANY: "Not really in the mood right now. Sorry "

TO BRITTANY: "cum on, it wl B fun. I promiS xoxo"

FROM BRITTANY: "Fine, but only because you insist "

TO BRITTANY: "U won't regret it, CU l8r xoxo"

**Brittany POV**

Seriously, why the hell does Elijah always have the worst possible timing?! I don't want to go to the park with him! Didn't he get that from my texts? It's not like I was implying that I was in the mood to go for a walk. Ugh, I have just woken up after I've been crying a waterfall of tears because I miss Santana so badly and I need her back. If Quinn wouldn't have been here, I would probably have thrown my phone against the wall because I'm just THAT frustrated.

It's just hard missing Santana, and in the meantime dealing with someone who keeps on pushing you to get over her. Because I can't get over her, and I'll never be able to do that. She has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. We always had this connection, something that separated our friendship, from anyone else's. It's almost like we share the same soul, like we're each other's perfect puzzle piece, like we're meant to be together. I know that we're soul mates, just like I know that the sky is blue, the sun is yellow and my name is Brittany Susan Pierce. It's something that I have always known, and which I am grateful for. Because I do realize that some people take forever to find the one, some might never find their soul mate. Yet, I did, at a young age which makes me feel like I'm blessed. Although, right now we're going through a rough patch and I broke up with Santana. But I know that I made the right choice, because once she comes out of the closet, we'll finally be together the way it was meant to be. Santana will hold my hand in public and everyone will know that we both are taken.

However, right now I need to be strong for a little bit longer and make sure that the plan that Quinn and I made doesn't fall apart, which means that I have to make sure that I don't scare Elijah away. So now, I need to make sure that he stays interested, that we can make Santana jealous. Yes, I know that that sounds awful, but sometimes the roughest roads lead to the top.

Anyway, Q left right before Elijah had texted me. This reminds me that he should be here any minute now to pick me up. Wow, as if I just predicted it, I hear my doorbell ring. When I open the door, I notice that it is in fact Elijah standing right in front of me.

"Hey Britt, are you ready to go?" he asks while rubbing his hands, showing that he – unlike me – is excited to go on this trip to the park.

"Yeah, sure, let me just grab my jacket and then I'm ready to go."

On our way to the park, we fall into a comfortable silence. I even let Elijah hold my hand, and I have to admit it feels nice. Don't get me wrong, because I most definitely don't like him in that way. But it's nice knowing that somebody loves you enough to hold your hand in public, like they're proud to been seen with you. Suddenly I come to a stop, I freeze because of the scene taking place in front of me. Of course, Elijah pulls my hand and he gives me a confused look, which makes me start walking again.

In the distance I see Puck and his dance crew, and I literally don't feel like getting into a fight with him about Santana. Because I know that he sees me as a traitor, and I don't blame him for that. However he doesn't know that I broke up with her to get back with her, once she's finally out of the closet. In fact if I want that to happen, then I can't tell him. I can't risk him telling San that our break-up was just some kind of plan, because then there's a chance that she would feel betrayed and make our break-up official.

Shit! Now that we're getting closer to the dance crew, I notice that I was right and that it is indeed Puck's crew. However he's not the only one that I recognize, because I notice that Santana's dancing with them. However, suddenly Santana turns her head and notices me. From the moment San has recognized me, she stops dancing abruptly. She looks so damn sad, and then it hit me, I'm still holding hands with Elijah. How could I be so stupid, I don't need to rub it in her face when she's doing the one thing that she loves. Elijah and I need to leave, because I can't take this away from her too. Yes, I want to make her jealous because that's the only way for me to get her back and be mine in public, but I this isn't the right place or time to do it. Dancing is the one thing she loves; she needs it just like she needs oxygen. Of course, Elijah hasn't noticed Santana yet and he says, "Oh Britt, look ever there, looks like that crew has got some moves. We should totally check it out; it looks like they already have got a crowd anyway."

I hesitate, "I don't think that's such a good idea. Maybe we should go feed the ducks instead."

"But we don't have any bread, and besides we both know that you love dancing. So come on, let's go."

Before I can even reply, I feel him pull my hand and we are moving closer to the group of dancers. When we finally reach the crowd, I notice that Santana isn't the only one who has joined Puck's crew today, Rachel has joined as well. What the hell is Rachel Berry doing here? Last time I checked, she wasn't even friends with Santana, and all of a sudden they hang out and dance together?! I can't help but get a little bit jealous, because I'm the one who used to dance with Santana and Puck's crew.

However, I need to keep my cool because in no time I'll be the one dancing with Santana again, and Rachel will be out of the picture. It's not like she could ever become as important to Santana, as me. Although I'm kind of annoyed that San and Rachel look like they are engaged in a very deep conversation while they are secretly throwing glances towards Elijah and me. Seriously, since when is Rachel the one who takes care of Santana? I thought that Puck would be the one helping Santana with processing this break-up, not somebody who wasn't even her friend before this whole damn messed-up situation.

I get snapped out of my thoughts when I hear someone screaming and when I turn my head, I know that the screaming is coming from Puck. Apparently Elijah approached Santana and Rachel, and he probably said some hurtful things but unfortunately I've been too zoned out to notice. Puck shouts, "Haven't you done enough, just get out of here!"

"Hell no, I can go where the hell I want. If my girlfriend and I want to watch your crew dance, then that's exactly what we'll do."

I immediately notice the hurt in San's eyes, and I can't help but be so incredibly pissed at Elijah. So I interrupt him as fast as I possibly can and yell, "I'm not your girlfriend!"

"Whatever, we're dating, so that makes you almost my girlfriend."

I can't even respond, because Santana scoffs, "Oh that's rich, little mister charming thinks he's good enough for Brittany, one of the best and most beautiful cheerleaders of our school. Keep dreaming, geek."

"Or what are you going to do?"

The second those words leave Elijah's lips everything gets out of hand. Santana tries to tackle him, while she keeps on screaming all kinds of Spanish insults and throwing punches into his direction. She is even capable of hitting his face a couple of times. I'm just standing here astonished, not knowing what to do. Suddenly someone puts the music out and everybody starts forming a huge circle around the fight. Rachel and Puck are holding San back, and I can't help but notice the calming effect Rachel has on Santana. For some reason it makes me detest her, and I can't wait to come back into Santana's life and be the only one who has that effect on her. Even though I do realize that I still have got a lot more effect on Santana, than Rachel has and I intend to keep it that way.

**A/N: Thoughts?**


	16. Bittersweet

**A/N: Please don't kill me for this chapter. If you read the chapter, then you'll understand why I just said that. **

**Rachel POV**

Yesterday was quite eventful and not in a good way. I was finally making some progress in becoming San's friend, but Elijah ruined everything. After he showed up with Brittany at the park, San pulled all her walls back up and shut me out. Not that I had managed to break her guard down completely, but at least she let me spend time with her and Puck. I doubt that she'll let me do that again any time soon.

Of course, I do realize that it must have hurt Santana to see Brittany move on so quickly since they dated over a year. Honestly, I don't get how Brittany could do that to Santana. Maybe she's trying to forget Santana by trying to date someone else. I don't know. It just doesn't make any sense to me because I know for a fact that she's still in love with San. It was painfully obvious yesterday; I could see it in her eyes when she yelled that Elijah isn't her boyfriend. Others might not have noticed the way Brittany looked at San in that moment, but I did. And it hurt. It hurt a lot.

Anyway, I'm on my way to school and I've got no idea what to expect. Will Santana ignore me? Insult me? Yell at me? Or will she actually talk to me for a change? I don't really know, but I probably won't like it. Which is why I shouldn't get my hopes up too high, I know better than that. Setting high expectations would only increase the chance that I'll get disappointed or hurt again, and I'd do everything to avoid that. I've been hurt too many times before.

Yesterday I felt like San had started to trust me because she didn't ask me to leave straight after the fight with Elijah. However after I cleaned some of the cuts on her knuckles, San changed her attitude towards me. While I was cleaning them, she was mostly really quiet and sort of lost in thought, which I perceived as a good sign considering the situation. But when I was done and I asked her some basic questions or tried to make some small talk, San kept on snapping at me. Maybe I should be glad that she didn't ask me to leave. Or maybe I should be mad about that. Because frankly, Santana used me as her own little punching bag that afternoon. For some unknown reason, she kept on finding ways to answer my questions with insults. Perhaps I can't blame her for that because I didn't really attempt to stop the insults thrown at me. But still, they had upset me.

I've finally reached school, and I head straight for my locker. I really don't feel like chatting right now or running into Santana. I fidget with the lock on my locker, attempting to get it open as fast as possible so I can get this day over with. However before I can open it, a cold wet liquid hits my face. I've been slushied.

My eyes are burning and my clothes are getting more and more soaked, I can literally feel the slushie spread all over my body. It has been months since the last time, so who the hell would torment me with a slushie?! The liquid is stinging my eyes, which makes it impossible for me to open them right now. Laughter fills the hallway and I can feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment. But then I hear something that upsets me even more.

"Wow San, I'm impressed. Your first time slushing the hobbit. Well done, " Quinn says.

What?! Santana did this to me! How could she?! After all I've done for her this weekend, this is how she repays me?! The moment I manage to open my eyes, I start running away as fast as I possibly can. I enter the nearest bathroom, and take a look in the mirror. Tears escape my eyes as I study my appearance. I look like a mess; my shirt is stained, my whole face is covered in red gooey slushie and my eyes are swollen. How could San embarrass me like that? I didn't do anything to hurt her.

**Puck POV**

As soon as school is over, I go to the parking lot as fast as possible. I immediately spot Santana's car and lean against it. If she thought that I was just going to let this slip, then she's terribly wrong. Rachel had been nothing but kind to her this weekend, and she did most certainly not deserve to get slushied. I still can't believe it, because it's the first time that San actually threw a slushie at her.

After a couple of minutes, I notice San is walking towards me. She smirks, "What's up, Puckerman? Don't you have your own car to take you home?"

"Just get in the car, San."

She chuckles, "Yes sir."

The moment we're both inside the car, I turn more serious and ask, "Why did you do it, San?"

Santana starts the engine and pulls out of the parking lot. She keeps her eyes on the road, and refuses to throw a single glance in my direction. She knows I'm disappointed in her, and that makes her uncomfortable. After a few seconds, she replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."

I roll my eyes and snap, "Yes, you do. Don't play dumb with me, Santana."

"Geez, calm down. It was just a slushie for crying out loud. That midget needs to know that she belongs all the way down on the bottom of the social hierarchy."

"Bullshit. I can't believe you, Santana! You know very well why you did it, and it wasn't because she isn't popular or that you don't want her to be."

I know that I've hit a nerve, because San visibly tightens her grip on the steering wheel. She retorts, "That's rich. If you know me so much better than I know myself, then why the fuck did I do it?! Tell me, I can't wait to hear it."

"You know why! Because this weekend you learned that you can trust Rachel, but you're too damn scared to let her in. You fear that when you let your walls down around Rachel, she'll break your heart or your trust."

"Whatever, Puck."

"Just give her a chance to be your friend."

"Why would I even want Berry to be my friend?"

I sigh, "Because she doesn't judge you."

San doesn't reply anymore, which confirms that I was right. Hopefully Rachel will also realize that San only slushied her because she started to trust her. San has some serious trust issues, but she has to get over them. You can't live your life if you're constantly scared to trust someone. You just can't, and I won't let her. San deserves love, and the only way to receive it is by opening up a little.

After a couple of moments I spot my house, but San drives past it. I wonder, "Euhm San, I thought you were driving me home. Or are we going to hang out at your place?"

"Nope."

"Then where are we going?"

"You'll see."

I roll my eyes because I know that she won't tell me, no matter how many times I ask. So I guess, I've just have to wait and see. A couple of minutes later I notice that we're in the nice part of Lima, which could mean that we're going over to Quinn's. Although that would kind of surprise me, because San and Quinn haven't hung out that much since the break-up.

When the car comes to a stop and I realize where we are, a smile automatically appears on my face. We're standing in front of Rachel's house. I turn to Santana and say, "I'm proud of you, San. You've made the right choice by coming here. Trust me you could do a lot worse than a friend like Rachel."

She sighs, "I know. And I know that I've acted like an ass today."

I nod my head and agree, "Yeah, you weren't exactly nice to Rachel today. But now is your chance to fix it. So walk over there and ring the doorbell. Don't leave before you've apologized, San. Trust me, Rachel is worth it and an apology is the least she deserves. But I'm going to go first because this is something you need to do on your own. So am I going to get a hug first?"

As soon as those words have left my lips, Santana immediately pulls me into a tight hug. She whispers in my ear, "Thank you."

**Rachel POV**

Today has been nothing but awful. I know that I'm at the bottom of the social hierarchy at school, and it hurts so badly to be reminded of that by a person who means so much to me. I'm still not over the fact that Santana has embarrassed me like that this morning. What upsets me even more, that this doesn't stop me from loving her. She hurt me, but the last thing I want is to hurt her back. It kills me that I just let Santana walk over me like that, but I don't know what else to do.

Thankfully, Chloe is going to give me a ride home, because I really don't feel like taking the bus today. However I do wonder where she's at, because I've been waiting here outside on the parking lot for over ten minutes. I know that she'll be here any minute, because she would never bail on me. Especially because she knows how horrible today has been for me. Seriously, the fact that Chloe is going to give me a ride home is about the only good thing that has happened today and that's kind of sad.

I get snapped out of my thoughts when I hear someone yelling my name. I turn around and notice that it's Chloe who was calling me. A smile automatically appears on my face, as she's getting closer. She greets my with a hug and apologizes, "Sorry for running a little late, but I forgot some books in my locker that I had to get out first."

"No problem. You're here now, and that's all that counts."

"So are we still on for tonight? Because I'd understand if you don't feel like working on our science project today."

I softly shrug my shoulders and sigh, "Nah, it's fine. We'll work on it as soon as we get to my place."

"Sounds good to me. Come on, get in so I can take us there."

When we both get into the car, Chloe doesn't start the engine immediately. Instead she looks at me with a thoughtful expression and says, "You do know that I'm here for you, right? Because I know that today didn't go exactly the way you wanted it to, and you don't have to pretend that it did. You don't have to be strong around me and put on a mask, when I know that you're hurting right now."

I rage, "What do you want me to say, Chloe? What can I say?! The person that I've been in love with for months has embarrassed me in front of the whole school, and she still sees me as a stupid loser. It hurts. Of course, it does. But what can I say to make it stop hurting?! Nothing! So just let it go, and stop talking about it."

A single tear makes it way down my cheek and Chloe stares at me with a shocked expression. She starts the engine and mutters, "I was only offering you a shoulder to cry on, not a person to snap at."

"I'm sorry, Chloe, I shouldn't have done that. I'm just really upset, but I shouldn't have taken that out on you. Sorry."

Chloe gives me a small smile and says, "It's okay, Rach. And I get that you're hurting, but just keep in mind that things will get better."

"What if they don't? I mean, this was my one chance to become friends with Santana, and I've obviously failed. She still thinks I'm the same loser as I was before her break-up with Brittany."

"Maybe things will get better, when you start moving on. Santana is a bitch and she doesn't deserve you."

I yell, "Don't ever call her that again!"

"Fine. But don't say that I didn't warn you, because that girl is trouble."

I utter, "Nobody's perfect, Chloe."

"So what, you're just going to forgive her?"

"No, of course not. I'm still mad at San, but I'm not going to give up on her."

"If that's what you want, then I'll support you. But if she slushies you again, I'll give her a piece of mind."

I roll my eyes and chuckle, "Like you would dare to do that. In school, Santana is untouchable and you know it."

Chloe huffs, "Well nobody gets away with embarrassing my best friend, not even Santana."

Before I can reply, Chloe parks her car on my driveway. Both of us stare at my doorstep in complete silence. My jaw has hit the floor as soon as I saw Santana sitting on my doorstep. I look over to Chloe and it's like she's frozen in shock as well. I break the silence and ask, "What is Santana doing here?"

"Uhm, I don't know. But if you want I can kick her ass as soon as I get out of the car."

I roll my eyes and say, "Thanks for the offer, but I think I'm going to pass."

"Suit yourself. Anyways, I'll leave you two to it. We can always work on our science project some other time."

"You sure?"

Chloe sighs, "Rach, I know that you want to talk to her. So just go, and don't be to easy on her. Okay?"

"I won't."

Her lips form a small smile and she utters, "Now go."

"Bye, Chloe. Thanks for the ride and everything."

"No problem, Rach. Love you."

"Love you too."

I get out of the car and Santana starts walking towards me. When Santana reaches me, we both just stand there awkwardly as she scratches the back of her head. I can feel the tension between the two of us, and I've no idea how to lighten the mood. As soon as Chloe's car is nowhere in sight anymore, Santana speaks up, "Hey."

"Hey," I reply dryly.

"Look, Rach, I know that I've been an ass today and I was wondering if you'd like to talk about it."

I snap, "What's there to talk about, Santana? Besides if I can recall it correctly, you prefer action instead of talking."

"I'm sorry for throwing that slushie at you. I truly am."

I slump my shoulders and sigh sadly, "Then why did you do it?"

She bites her lip and hesitates, "I don't know. But I promise that I won't do it again."

"It's easy to say stuff like that afterwards, but I don't believe you. I thought you were my friend and I trusted you, but you broke that trust the moment you threw that slushie at me. Do you have any idea how humiliating it was to receive a slushie from you for the first time?! You've made me their number one target again."

Santana looks down at the ground and says, "I don't know what you want me to say. I just want us to be friends again."

I quirk my eyebrow and ask, "You do?"

She lifts her head to look me in the eye and says, "It might not seem like it, but I really do. I just have a hard time making new friends and trusting people."

I smile at her and reply, "Okay, I believe you and thank you for apologizing. It means a lot to me."

"So does this mean that we're good?"

"Yeah, it does. But we're still on thin ice, even though I do forgive you."

I start walking towards the door, and surprisingly San isn't following me. As soon as I reach the door and unlock it, I turn around and ask, "Aren't you going to come in?"

"I wasn't sure if you wanted me to after everything that happened today. I figured that you might need some time."

"Of course I want you to come in. Maybe we can watch a movie or something."

Santana starts walking towards me and grins, "I'd love that, as long as it isn't a musical."

I roll my eyes and huff, "Fine, we'll watch 'Funny Girl' next time you come over."

"Oh, hell to the no, Berry."

**A/N: Thoughts? **


	17. Your friendship is fixing my heart

**Santana POV**

Thankfully Berry forgave me for being an asshole and slushying her two weeks ago, because she's actually kind of fun to hang out with. At school we both still go our separate ways, and try to avoid each other. We both know that it's too hard for us to act like friends at school, because we don't belong to the same social group. Perhaps, I should try and change that, but I don't really know how. I can't show my soft side at school, because that could cost me my own popularity. That might sound selfish, but high school is a cruel place and I'll do anything to survive it. However, I did stop bullying her. Berry didn't deserve all the crap I did to her in the past, and I knew that I had to stop. It's the least I could do, after all she did for me.

Honestly I don't get why Berry isn't popular at school, since she's fun, cute and intelligent. Although she does like to be kind of a diva, which a lot of people find irritating. However I find it endearing, rather than annoying. She's really starting to grow on me, which is a good thing because you can never have enough 'real' friends. I love the fact that Berry has been so cool about my sexuality and that she has been nothing but supportive. Thanks to her, I've been able to keep my mind of the break-up. Don't get me wrong, because I'm still heartbroken, which is only normal since I've been in love with Brittany for as long as I can remember. Moreover, I still can't stand to see Brittany and Elijah together and I don't think that I ever will.

After I gave Elijah a black eye almost two weeks ago, things got out of hand and he sued me. Thankfully Brittany was able to convince him to drop the charges, which proves that she still cares about me even though we haven't talked since the break-up.

I still miss Brittany more and more every day, but the fact that I have Puck and Rachel helps. Of course I also have Quinn, but she doesn't act like my best friend anymore. She only talks to me on the school ground, and both of us avoid the topic of the break-up. The only thing we still do together is practicing our dance routines on Friday night, but I want to spend more time with her than just one evening a week. We don't even go on our weekly run together anymore, which is why I called Rachel this morning to keep me company and come jogging with me.

When I asked Rachel to go on a run with me, I had no idea that it would have been me who was craving to take a pause. Don't get me wrong, because I'm in great shape and I have got a great stamina. However, we have been jogging for almost two hours now, I start to feel like I really could use a break right now, or I will most likely pas out or something.

I get snapped out of my thoughts when Berry speaks up, "Are you okay, Santana? You're starting to look a bit pale."

I pant, "Yeah, we're almost in the park anyway, so maybe we could take a break from all the jogging when we get there."

She quickly agrees, and then we jog in a peaceful stillness to the park. I notice that we are the only ones there, which isn't odd since it is still really early. So I take her hand, and start moving towards the swings. She isn't directly following me, so it is like I am pulling her hand towards somewhere she doesn't want to go. Berry is looking a bit confused, so I explain, "Come on, start moving or do I need to carry you there?! We're going to sit on the swings."

"Isn't that something for five year olds?"

"You're never too old to play on the swings. Besides, weren't you the one who told me to loosen up a bit?"

Instead of responding right away, she gets this evil glint in her eyes. I can tell she is up to no good, which I find out to be true once she screams, "Race you there."

I try to keep up with her, but she took a headstart, which means that I have already lost before it even began. So I shout, "Cheater!"

"Tsss, you just can't accept your defeat," she jokes once we get there.

I just roll my eyes, and then we fall into a comfortable silence both gently rocking on the swings. After a few minutes, I reach for her hand and hold it in mine. Rachel looks surprised but doesn't question it; instead she gratefully accepts it and she interlaces our fingers. I wonder, "How come that in this very moment it feels like time stopped passing and my mind can finally find some rest?"

She tilts her head to look at me thoughtfully and replies, "I have got no idea, but I do understand. I feel the same way, Santana."

"You can call me San. We're friends now."

"Okay, San." She emphasizes my nickname, which makes me chuckle a little bit.

"I'm serious Berry, you need to stop thinking about the horrible past that we share, in which I did some awful things to you. You're my friend now, and I want you to know that you mean a lot to me. So it's okay for you to joke around with me, and call me by my nickname. You can count on me, Rach. I'll be there, anytime you need me."

"Wow, and then they used to tell me that I speak in monologues. Seriously, I think I'm rubbing off on you. But anyway, thank you San that really means a lot to me."

I shrug it off and say, "Just thought you should know."

"Well thank you, besides there is something you can do for me…"she trails off.

I cock my eyebrow at her and question, "Spill it, Berry. What can I do for you?"

"Well, tonight I need to babysit a five-year-old and I was wondering if y-"

I interrupt her, "You want me to come with you, don't you?"

She blushes a little bit, but nods her head anyway. Truth be told, she looks kind of cute being this shy. So I say, "Don't sweat it. Of course I will come with you."

"Awesome."

**Rachel POV**

Who would have thought that I would be babysitting together with Santana? Can you believe it, I'm babysitting together with our head cheerleader, the hottest, most popular and most wanted girl in our school?! This is something that goes beyond my wildest fantasy, something I used to think that was only possible in one of my dreams. Like seriously, I would never have thought that it was possible to form a friendship this fast with Santana. However, I do think that I was able to pull it off because I was the only one there for her in her hour of need, besides Puck. Anyway, I'm not going to keep on questioning how I was able to form this friendship, instead I'm just going to be thankful for it.

Suddenly, I feel someone pulling the hem of my shirt, "Aren't you going to join us, Rachel?"

I look up at Lily and reply sweetly, "I would love to."

"Well come on then, Sannie and I have been drawing and we would like to show you what we made."

I walk over to the living room and spot a very concentrated Santana. I can see that she's really putting effort in the drawing that she's making. She even has her tongue stuck out of her mouth, it looks so adorable.

I just stand there for a few seconds, waiting for her to notice me standing here. I see Lily running over to Santana and climbing on her lap, it looks so natural and sweet. Once she is on her lap, Santana hands Lily a pencil and whispers something in her ear while helping her draw. Honestly, I can totally see Santana as the mother of my children; she's so good with Lily. Anyways, when she has finally noticed me, Santana shoots me the sweetest smile ever, which I obviously return. She chuckles, "Well are you just going to stand there, or are you going to help us color this drawing?"

"Yeah, Rachie, help us."

"I would love too."

"Euhm, Rach, what did you do in the kitchen? Because I thought you were going to get us some drinks, but I don't see any."

A small laugh escapes my lips and I bury my head in my hands. How could I forget? So instead of getting drinks, I got lost in my thoughts again. "This is so embarrassing and so typically me. You know, I'm so forgetful sometimes; I'm going to get them now."

After a few minutes I come back with the drinks. Lily and Santana both gratefully accept them and give me a sweet smile. I hear Santana whisper in Lily's ear, "Hey Lilybear, aren't you going to show Rachel the picture we drew for her?"

Lily nods very enthusiastically and reaches for the drawing. She immediately holds it behind her back and walks over to my chair and she beams, "This is for you, Rach," while she hands me the drawing. It is absolutely beautiful; I can see that she got a lot of help from Santana. They had drawn the three of us, playing at the park and feeding the ducks at the duck pond. And I can't help but wonder, if maybe someday we could go and actually do that. You know, when I would have to babysit Lily another time.

"Oh, this is so beautiful Lily; did you make this all by yourself?"

She shakes her head and looks at Santana, before replying, "No, I got a bit of help from Sannie."

Santana adds, "Yeah, but without your help the drawing wouldn't have been half this beautiful, Lily."

Lily runs over to Santana, and gives her a kiss on the cheek, "I love you, Sannie"

"I love you to, Lilybear"

My heart literally melts at the tenderness of this moment. Who would have thought that Santana Lopez, the school's famous badass, had got a soft spot for cheerful five-year-olds? She truly is so good with kids; I can totally see her as a wonderful mother. Preferably, the mother of our child, but that are things I don't need to worry about right now. All that counts right now is that I haven't had this much fun babysitting in a long time. So mental note to myself, ask Santana to keep on babysitting together with me, it's so much more fun together.

**A/N: Thoughts? Reviews are appreciated **


	18. My friends are the ones who keep me safe

**Chloe POV**

When Rachel told Kurt and me that she was going to babysit Lily together with Santana, we couldn't believe our ears. Like seriously, to us it was like she told us that she was going to have dinner with the president, since both events are equally unlikely to happen. However, now we both are extremely proud of Rachel because she owes this all to herself. Rach is starting to find love, or at least friendship, because she wasn't too scared too chase it. She had the nerve to take action and try to fix Santana's heart after Brittany broke it.

The first few days after the break-up Santana had insulted Rachel so many times that I thought that they were never going to be friends, and definitely not more than friends. However, Rachel never gave up and now, almost three weeks after the break-up; they are already pretty close friends. It's something that Rachel has wanted for such a long time, and I couldn't be happier for her. Anyways, when she told us about the babysitting, Kurt and I decided that the day after we should have a slumber party to find out all the details about how it went. In fact, the day after is today, so I'm eagerly waiting for Kurt and Rachel to arrive.

After about another five minutes of waiting, the doorbell finally rings. When I open the door, Kurt tackles me into a big hug. I chuckle, "Why can't you ever greet people like a normal person by simply saying 'hello'?"

"I know you love it though."

When we finally reach my room, Kurt throws himself on my bed and starts flicking through some fashion magazines. He asks, "What do you think happened between Rach and Santana yesterday?"

I shrug my shoulders and say, "I've got no idea, like seriously, none."

"Yeah me neither. However, I do wonder if they kissed."

I throw a pillow at him and shout, "Shut up, no way! No way that they kissed."

"Why not?! I mean come on, it isn't that crazy, Chloe. Rachel has got a crush on Santana and we both know that Santana is gay."

"Yeah, but you forget the fact that Santana is still heartbroken over Brittany. Plus I don't think that she even knows that Rachel is bisexual instead of straight. Also, a few weeks ago, Santana used to insult Rachel on an almost daily basis."

"Fact. But sometimes love does crazy things to people."

The doorbell rings, so I stand up to answer the door. However first I reply, "You're such a hopeless romantic, Kurt. But that shit only happens in movies."

"Tsss, nonsense, but we'll find out if you finally go answer the door and let Rachel in. So, come on, move your ass and open the door."

I giggle, "I'm on it, boss."

He starts laughing, while I go downstairs to answer the door. When I open it, I see a very happy looking Rachel.

I smirk, "By the look on your face, I'm guessing that babysitting Lily with Santana went well yesterday."

She replies, "You have got no idea, Chloe. It was absolutely wonderful."

Once we get upstairs, we notice Kurt is already impatiently tapping his foot. He sighs, "Finally, you took ages to get upstairs, while I have been dying to find out how it went."

Rachel and I both scoff, "Drama queen."

He rolls his eyes and says, "Whatever, I don't care as long as you tell us what happened yesterday, Rachel."

"Why do I have to be the only one who tells you guys some personal things?"

I can't find a good argument against that, so I suggest, "Maybe we could play 'Two truths and a lie'."

"I could be down with that, Chloe."

Kurt chips in, "Yeah me too."

The three us form a circle on my bed, and we put the bowl of sweets in the middle. Kurt wonders, "Aren't we supposed to have some sort of liquor or something like that. Because if you don't know which one is the lie, then you'll have to take a shot. That's how you play the game, isn't it?"

"I knew I forgot something. I'll be right back; I'll just sneak into my parents' liquor cabinet."

I have almost left my room when I hear Rachel say, "Are you sure that's such a good idea. I mean, we're under age and what if your parents catch us drinking?"

I chuckle, "Oh Rachel, always worrying. Just go with it and live a little. It'll be fun, I swear."

Kurt adds, "Plus if you're going to hang with Santana from now on, I think you should get used to drinking a bit of alcohol every once and a while."

I high-five Kurt, and Rachel rolls her eyes but agrees anyway.

So after a couple of minutes, everything is set to start the game. Rach wonders, "So who's going first?"

"I'll go," Kurt says, "Okay. Fact one, I asked Tyler from the football team out on a date and he agreed. Fact two, I'm thinking about changing my hair color to a lighter shade of brown, because I'm tired of my dark brown hair. And last fact, I tried out for the swim team in the beginning of the year, but failed getting in so I've never told you guys before. So girls, which one is the lie?"

Rachel giggles, "Most definitely the one about a date with Tyler, because as far as I know that guy is as straight as an arrow. Even though you're good-looking, you won't be able to make him change teams."

Even though Rachel has a point, I don't really think that's the lie. Sure, as far as I know, Tyler isn't gay, but honestly I wouldn't be surprised. So I guess, "I think you've never tried out for the swim team."

"Okay, girls, sorry to disappoint you Chloe but I don't have a date with Tyler. However I did try to ask him out but it turned out that he has a girlfriend."

Rachel and I start laughing, and she giggles, "Oh Kurt, why would you ask out a guy who has got a girlfriend?"

"Whatever, it was worth a shot. He's hot, so who could blame me."

Right before emptying out my shot glass filled with vodka, I say, "True that, Kurt. True that."

The game continues, and it is finally my turn. "Okay, fact one, last week I baked a cake that I planned on bringing to school and share with you guys. However instead I ate the whole damn thing myself, which is why I spent so much time in the gym last week. Fact two, a few days ago I flirted with Puck in school, which didn't go unnoticed by Santana. So she came up to me and unleashed her ruthless words on me, which still shakes me up when I think about it. Fact three, I'm going out on a date with Tim next Friday, just so I would get invited to his party next Saturday. Okay, make your choice."

Kurt looks as if he is thinking pretty hard and considering all three the options, and so is Rachel. But she makes up her mind faster and says, "Santana didn't insult you when you flirted with Puck. She knows you're my best friend and would never humiliate you like that in public. Even though in school she has got a reputation to maintain."

Kurt laughs, "Sorry to disappoint you Rach, but she did, and I actually witnessed that one. You should have seen Chloe. She looked about as red as a tomato and every girl in that hallway averted her eyes from Puck, fearing that Santana would do the same to them. It was hilarious."

I gently punch Kurt in the shoulder, and mutter, "I didn't look that red, I was just a tiny bit embarrassed."

He chuckles, "A bit, keep telling yourself that."

I roll my eyes, but he continues, "You should have known better, because even though we know that Santana is gay, no one else does and they all think that she's dating Puck. Sure, their Facebook status says in an open relationship, but that doesn't mean that Puck can flirt with anybody he wants. Santana needs to keep her reputation high, by making sure that only a small amount of girls are even allowed to talk to him, it's just the way popularity works."

I sigh, "That's stupid, but so true. However, now that Rach and Santana are becoming friends, she should help me to get a date with Puck, by telling Santana to back off."

Rachel shrugs her shoulders and utters, "I'll see what I can do, although I can't promise you anything, Chloe."

"Sure, so anyway, which one did you think was the lie, Kurt?"

"I'm thinking that the date with Tim is a lie, 'cause you have never ever mentioned him. Besides, if it was true, you would have told us already."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but that's true. So you guys really thought that I would eat a whole cake by myself?" I huff, but burst out laughing anyway, and Rach and Kurt join me.

When our laughter has died down, it is finally Rachel's turn. Of course, before she begins they both take their shot of vodka, since they weren't able to guess which one was the lie. Rach speaks up, "Okay my turn, you guys probably want all three of mine to be about Santana, don't you?"

Kurt and I both nod our heads enthusiastically and she continues, "Fine, fact one, Santana invited me to join her to dance with Puck's crew in the park, which I had a blast doing. Fact two, Santana came with me to babysit and we really had a great time, but she didn't spend that much attention to Lily. So, she truly entertained me, but she wasn't that interested in entertaining Lily, maybe she's just not that into kids. However, that isn't my main concern right now, since she isn't even my girlfriend yet. Okay, I should stop rambling. So fact three, Santana has invited me to that party you were talking about, Chloe. I said 'yes', so we're going to go together, and dress up at her place first. Anyway, choose your lie."

I seriously have got no clue about which one is the lie. She does know that the game is called 'Two truths and one lie' and not 'Two lies and one truth'? Because to me it all sounds very unlikely, but maybe the one about Santana not being into kids could be the truth. So now, I only have to think about which one of the other two is the lie.

Anyway, Kurt guesses first, "You didn't get invited by Santana to that party, since that party is known to be only for the football team, the cheerleaders or the popular kids."

"Okay and what about you, Chloe?"

"Actually, I'm thinking the same thing."

"Sorry to disappoint you guys, but I actually did get invited by Santana. So I guess that I'll see you there Chloe, if you're going to go with Tim. Anyway drink up, losers," she giggles.

Kurt and I both empty our shots, and I wonder, "Rach, which one is the lie?"

"The one about Santana not being that interested in Lily. Because honestly I think that, even though it's the first time that Lily met Santana, she already likes Santana much better than me. Seriously, I can truly see her being such a great mother, hopefully with me by her side."

Rachel starts blushing, and the three of us got into a big group hug. Kurt and I need to show her how happy we are for her, with all the progress she has been making with Santana.

Anyways, we continue the drinking game, until we have emptied the bottle and all three of us are buzzed. However both Kurt and I got some more information about Santana tonight, which is awesome. Kurt and I are truly overjoyed for Rachel; that she's finally finding her way to true love. Already I can tell that hanging out with Santana is good for her. Sure most of the time Santana's a bitch, but I think that the person beneath that surface, is the one that Rachel needs. Maybe in time, Santana will realize that that works both ways. Those two balance each other out and I couldn't be more ecstatic for that.

**Puck POV**

"Hey Puck, I think we have got an unwanted guest," Jason says. I look over to my right, and I literally cannot believe my eyes. Does that loser never learn his lesson? Who the hell does he think he is?! He's crazy if he thought coming here was a good idea, and I'll make sure that he doesn't make the same mistake twice.

I yell, "Get out, Elijah!"

"Last time I checked, you do not own the park. So just pretend I'm not even here when you and your crew continue practicing and dancing around."

How dare he insult the fact that we practice out in the open, in the park?! Just because we dance with some poor guys from the streets, who don't have the money for a better place, doesn't mean that he has to rub it in our faces. Besides last time, he came here with Brittany - while Rachel and Santana were practicing together with my crew - and then we made perfectly clear that we don't want him here when we're practicing. If he sees a big circle of people around a group of dancers, he should just walk the other way.

I warn him one last time, "Turn around, Elijah, and don't come back!"

Jason adds, "Yeah, we don't want you to kill the vibe, and it's pretty clear that my boy, Puck, doesn't want you here. So you have got to leave, got it geek?!"

He even pushes Elijah on the shoulder, which is something that he most definitely deserves. Elijah has got no idea what kind of shit most of my crew has gone through; he doesn't know what it's like in the slums. Or how it feels when your father beats the crap out of you every chance he gets, or what it's like to not be able to support your family like you should, or what it's like to see your mother lose the spark in her eyes because of the alcohol abuse. So he doesn't know shit, and he needs to leave because he doesn't know pain like we do. We have got nothing to lose, so if he's smart he'll leave.

Guess he isn't that intelligent because Elijah says smugly, "If I want to see you dance, then there's nothing you can do to stop that. Tough luck, ballerinas."

Before he can say anything else, I lung forward and tackle him to the ground. Without thinking about it, I start hitting him like my life depends on it. I just can't take the way he came here being arrogant as fuck, while he knows that I hate him. San and Elijah both hate each other, so he should have known that if she doesn't like him, then I wouldn't either.

San is like my little sister, so I would do anything to protect her. Besides, he thinks that I'm dating her, so he should have realized that I will always choose her side and even share the same opinion about him. He should stay away, and by punching him I'm making sure that he gets that message. I don't want him near Santana, especially not when he's dating Brittany because I know that that's tearing San apart inside.

Anyways, I only stop punching him when Thomas, Jason and Chad are finally capable to get a hold on me. After that, Elijah runs off with a split lip and a black eye. But I don't feel guilty at all because the bastard had it coming. It's the second time he got a black eye, let's hope that this time he has learned his lesson and stays away from me, Rachel and Santana.

**A/N: Thoughts? And shout out to Doodle91xxx, Indianara and Laurenknight13! You guys are the ones that keep me motivated, so thank you! **


	19. I love to party, everybody does

**Rachel POV**

I'm on my way to San's place because today is Saturday, which means that it's time for Tim's major party. Apparently this is the party of the year, and normally it's only filled with popular people and you need to get invited first. So, I have to admit that I'm fairly nervous, since I didn't get invited directly.

In fact, it's Santana who made sure that I got invited. I love the fact that she wanted me to come, but I'm terrified because nobody will expect me to be there and they probably won't like my presence. Especially Quinn, because she hates my guts ever since the whole Finn drama, which I hope is in the past now. Although, somehow I'm relatively okay with attending the party without being expected because I already know that Santana will be there by my side. Plus, Chloe is going to be there as well, which will make me feel more at home. I even think that Noah is going to the party, so he can protect me from the jocks. At least it would only make sense for Puck to be there as well, since he's like crazy popular.

I finally arrive at Santana's house, and I ring the doorbell. When she opens the door, my jaw instantly hits the floor. She is wearing a short black cocktail dress, and killer high heels. She has curled her long black hair, and it's draped loosely on her shoulders. Santana looks absolutely stunning, like she came straight off a catwalk or out some kind of fashion magazine. Seriously, I feel underdressed with my skinny jeans, old band shirt and my six-inch black heels, desperately trying to look like a hipster.

I get snapped out of my thoughts when Santana smirks, "Seeing something you like, Berry?"

"You look beautiful, Santana."

She chuckles, "Well, you aren't looking too bad yourself Rach."

When we get to her bedroom, I immediately notice all the piles of clothes that are tossed around on her bed, her dresser and the floor. It is the first time since we became friends that I've seen her bedroom. If you try to look behind all the junk scattered around on the floor, you can see that her room is really beautiful and a reflection of Santana. The walls are tinted quite dark with some colorful accents and everywhere I look are pictures of her friends and family. She might seem like a bitch to most people, but on the inside I know that she's more than warm when it comes to the ones she loves, her room proves that.

On her dresser is a picture of her, Quinn and Brittany in their cheerleading costumes, on what I guess was the first day of high school or the day they tried out for the cheerleading squad because they look like they were about fourteen years old. All three of them seem so happy in the picture; you can see it in their eyes. I can't help but feel a bit jealous, because that picture shows how much she still loves them, even though they kind of have abandoned her lately.

However that feeling of jealousy quickly subsides when I notice a picture of Puck's dance crew dancing with San and me in the park standing on her desk. I still can't believe that she actually cares about me, and that she thinks I'm good enough to be one of her closest friends. It's absurd because the whole school thinks I'm a loser and a geek, but somehow Santana doesn't care about my place in the social hierarchy at school. San has showed me that she likes me the way I am and she trusts me enough to go past her walls, which means the world to me.

When I turn my head, I see that there is one wall completely filled with all kinds of posters. On some there are famous dance crews, on others there are famous performers. And personally I like the gigantic Amy Winehouse poster that's hanging in the middle best. I must say, she truly has got some great taste, however it's a shame that she hasn't got equally good cleaning abilities. Seriously, the place looks like a big mess, you can definitely tell that Santana has spent some time getting ready for the party and finding the right outfit. My first instinct is to start cleaning it up, but suddenly she grabs my wrist and says, "You don't have to do that, Rach. I'll clean this mess up later."

"Are you sure? Because I don't mind cleaning up at all."

She quirks her eyebrow at me, and jokes, "So you like cleaning up? I should remember that. Who knows, that might come in handy later."

I roll my eyes and say, "Haha, make fun of it all you want, I just like everything to be clean."

"If you really like it, you can help, since we will both be sleeping here tonight anyway."

"Sleeping here tonight? A sleepover at your house?" I question.

"Yeah, did you forget? Because otherwise you should totally ask your dads ASAP, since there's no way that I'm dropping you off home at 5 am or something like that. Plus if we get wasted, my house is within walking distance, and my parents are still on their business trip. So if we get a killer hangover, we can just stay in and I could help you, because I've got the perfect cure for them."

I quickly agree, and send a text to my parents. Of course, they have to go ahead and embarrass me in front of Santana - like any normal parents would I suppose - by calling me on my cell phone. When I answer, they keep on asking me like a billion questions; they even want to speak to Santana on the phone. I hand her my iPhone and she lies and tells them that there isn't going to be any alcohol and there is going to be some parental supervision, so they have no reason to worry at all.

I am so thankful that Santana was able to convince them to let me sleep over after the party; however it makes me kind of nervous since it's the first time I'm going to go to a party like this. I have almost never drunk any alcohol, and I don't want to look like some kind of prude next to Santana, or someone who can't hold his liquor. Seriously, I don't want to embarrass her in front of all the other popular kids.

The whole school knows that when there is a party, Santana is going to be there. If she doesn't attend your party, then nobody who's even the slightest bit popular will want to either. That might sound stupid, but it's just the way it is at McKinley High. Everybody follows the queen bee, who happens to be Santana. So because I'm going to be by her side tonight, I want to appear cool and not like some kind of fool. You have got no idea, how much I fear that I would embarrass her in front of all those people. I don't want to ruin her reputation, which has taken her so long to build.

I get brought back to earth, when I notice Santana waving her hand in front of my face with an amused grin. She giggles, "Hey Rach, snap out of it and stop worrying so much."

"I wasn't worrying, I was just thinking about some stuff."

She cocks her eyebrow, "Next time you should try to say it like you really mean it. Because I know for a fact that you were thinking and freaking out about the party."

"And how would you know that?"

"Because the last few days you have asked me like a thousand questions about the party and who was going to be there. You even tried to convince me that I should go without you, while you know that you're my friend now and I want you to have a great time as well."

A small blush creeps upon my cheeks and I feel a bit embarrassed. The last few days, I have acted like a kid on Christmas. You know, acting a little too excited. But I couldn't help it because this is the first time that I'm going to a party. Apparently she has noticed that I am kind of ashamed about the way I acted lately because she says, "Don't act this embarrassed Rach; I was totally the same when I went to my first real party. But you shouldn't worry too much about this, because I'm totally going to look after you over there. So you have got no reason to be worried."

I can't help but let my insecurity get the best of me and ask, "What if somebody questions why you brought a loser with you to spoil the party?"

"You're not a loser Rachel, and I don't care what everybody else thinks. Besides I'll make sure that nobody hurts your feelings. I got your back, just remember that okay?"

"Thanks San, you're an awesome friend. Do you know that?"

She chuckles, "Yeah, I'm just all kinds of awesome, aren't I?"

"So modest," I laugh, and she starts laughing as well.

**Santana POV**

We finally arrive at Tim's party, and I notice that the house is absolutely packed. Like seriously, there are even more people here than last time. But I suppose that that is a good thing.

Rachel is standing next to me and I can't help but chuckle at the sight. She's looking at the whole scene like we're in some kind of crazy ass dream and she can't believe her own eyes. I search her hand with mine, and give it a small squeeze before whispering in her ear, "Relax, you're going to be just fine. Just wait here and I'll go get us some drinks, okay?"

She gives me a small nod, and I hurry my way over to the kitchen where I know all the booze will be, just like last year. When I get back, I am happy to notice that Chloe is here as well and she has been keeping Rachel company while I was gone to get some drinks. I don't really know Chloe, but she's in my after-school dance class and she's pretty cool I guess. However Chloe probably doesn't exactly have a good impression of me, since I have insulted her big time a few days ago when she was trying to flirt with Puck. This reminds me, that I probably should try to tone down with insulting her, since she's Rachel's friend.

Before I can make my way back to Rachel, I feel someone tap my shoulder; I turn around and notice that it is Puck. He lifts me off the ground in a giant bear hug and gives me a kiss. Since, we're at a party that kiss is pretty much standard to keep all of the appearances up. However when we both pull away, he whispers in my ear, "What got you all smiley tonight, Lopez?"

"Berry, it's just good to realize that I found another real friend. Those are pretty rare to find, you know."

He lifts his cup and before taking a sip, he agrees, "True that, San. True that."

After he pulls away from his drink, he continues, "Come on, we should get to the dance floor and show off our moves. You know that everybody is waiting for us to dance, they always are."

"Sure let me just get Rachel, and then we can finally do what we do best."

I hurry and practically drag Rachel to the middle of the dance floor. She is a bit hesitant, and looks like a fish on the dry. I know that she feels like she doesn't belong here, because she isn't exactly popular. However, that shouldn't matter, because if others can't see how awesome she truly is then that's their loss.

In fact I don't get why she isn't popular because that girl can dance and she's beautiful. Maybe it's because she's kind of obsessed about her future and becoming a Broadway star, which is something others love to make fun of. Anyway, after a few songs I notice that her demeanor has changed and she's dancing like nobody's watching. She looks so cute when she's dancing like this, so carefree.

Suddenly our song starts blasting through the speakers, which makes me look at Puck, Rachel, Thomas and Jake. All of us nod at each other and we start dancing our new routine that we have been practicing at the park for some days. After about ten seconds, everybody has formed a big circle around us and everybody's cheering us on. Seriously, it's like I'm addicted to the sound of the crowd whenever I'm dancing. The song ends and everybody is clapping and whistling at us. Puck bumps his fist against mine and beams, "Oh yeah, we still have got it."

"Damn right, we do."

Rach looks at me with an incredible bright smile and beams, "That was officially awesome, this party rocks."

"Told you so."

Instead of saying anything else, we both start dancing and enjoying ourselves for the rest of the night. In this moment, all that matters is the fact that we are having a blast on the dance floor.

Of course there are some bitchy cheerleaders who are giving Rachel some dirty looks, and there always be superficial people to judge everybody. Even Q has showed up and she has been giving Rachel death glares all night. I know that she doesn't like my friendship with Rachel. However that's her problem, not mine. As long Quinn isn't prepared to be my friend again and accept Rachel, she can go to hell.

However I am kind of relieved that Brittany hasn't been here tonight, I don't think that I could have handled that. It has been hard enough dealing with Quinn, and seeing Britt would have been about one thousand times worse.

Anyway, in the morning Rachel and I will probably have to nurse a serious hangover. But that doesn't matter because we will be doing it together and that's all that counts.

**Quinn POV**

Honestly, I still can't believe that Santana ignored me the whole damn night at Tim's party on Saturday, and then she had the nerve to ignore my phone calls and texts the day after. Seriously, I tried to reach her so many times yesterday that I almost threw my iPhone against the wall because I was just getting that pissed. She could at least have sent me a text that said to leave her alone or something like that if she wasn't in the mood to talk to me. But no, she had to make me feel like crap by ignoring me, like I don't mean anything to her.

I knew that Santana was home Sunday, probably with Berry by her side since apparently those two have become friends. Moreover I don't understand how Berry convinced Santana to become her friend. It annoys me more than I would ever willingly admit. In fact, it feels like Berry just can't stop stealing people away from me. Does she think it's some sort of game, to turn people I love against me?!

First of all she stood between Finn and me (even though they dated first), and now she's trying to take my best friend away from me. It's just cruel and pathetic, so what does Santana see in her? Does Berry know about the break-up and that Santana is gay? Would Santana trust her enough to tell Berry her deepest secret? Because she didn't even find the courage to tell me and I have been her best friend since what seems like forever. Maybe I'm overreacting, but this is how I feel.

Somehow Rachel is becoming extremely close with Santana, and slowly taking in my place as a best friend. Of course things between Santana and I are going a bit rough lately, but that doesn't mean that it's going to be this way forever. The plan that Brittany and I have created to get her out of the closet and to come to grip with her feelings, is taking a bit more time than we first thought, but that doesn't mean that it isn't going to work in the near future.

At Tim's party, when Berry was dancing with Santana, I felt extremely jealous. She danced with that midget, the way she used to dance with me or with Brittany. I could see that San was having a great time dancing, she looked so carefree. I felt like Santana didn't even notice me, and that she didn't even miss Brittany or me there. Which is extremely hard to accept, because all I could think about when I was there, was that it was me and Brittany who should have been dancing with Santana and Puck. But no, instead she danced with Berry, and I stood there watching, while Brittany stayed at home because she found it too hard to come and face Santana dancing with somebody else. It just hurts; feeling like your best friend is replacing you.

When I first thought of the plan, I knew people were going to get hurt, it's something that can't be avoided when it comes to this situation. Especially Brittany and Santana are going to suffer some serious heartache because I know that when they are apart they literally feel like they're incomplete and nothing can make them feel whole again. They will both probably feel this way until they get back together, so Santana will have to suck it up and get the courage to come out. Unfortunately until that happens, they will have to deal with the loneliness.

However, I had no idea that I would be dealing with that as well. It seems like everywhere I go, I think about how things used to be with the three of us. We used to be inseparable and nobody could come between us, like that hobbit did.

Seriously, before all of this drama, Berry wouldn't have stood a chance to become a close friend of Santana, Brittany and I were the only friends she needed. We were one, and now it's like we're falling apart. Of course I still talk to Santana, and sometimes we even joke around a bit. We still sit next to each other in some classes, but it's not the same. I know that she feels like I betrayed her, which is why she doesn't want to share her feelings with me anymore.

At least she doesn't ignore me the whole damn time, like she does with Brittany. If I'm honest with myself, then I know that it's my own damn fault that I'm losing her, and I need to fix it ASAP. Because I don't know how much longer I can take this. I don't even want to imagine how badly Brittany is hurting right now. If even I feel like I lost a piece of me when they broke up and our friendship changed.


	20. A guilt trip

**Rachel POV**

Santana and I are currently hanging out in her bedroom, which is great. The past half hour we have been listening to some music and joking around a bit. Normally I love doing that, which is why I sort of feel bad that I'm enjoying this less than other times. Maybe it's because I feel that after almost two months of pretty close friendship, we should have reached another level.

For example, I wish that San would have started opening up some more to me, and maybe even started sharing some of her feelings and problems. It's what close friends do, or should do in my opinion. It's not like I didn't know that it was going to be tough for Santana to open up to me. But that doesn't mean that I didn't expect her to at least tell me a bit about her previous relationship with Brittany, or maybe about their current relationship and how she feels about them ignoring each other. Anyway, I guess I got to suck it up and wait until Santana's ready to talk about some serious stuff, instead of the regular small talk and joking around.

Suddenly I feel Santana gently shaking my arm and she questions, "Wtf, Rach, were you even listening?"

I hesitate before nodding. Obviously Santana doesn't believe me for one second. Before I can even register it, she has already thrown a pillow at me and chuckles, "You were not."

"So what if I was not, it's not like you are always listening to me."

"Berry, I always listen to you."

"You are not, San. You have even fallen asleep one time when I was talking, if I recall that correctly."

She giggles, "Oh yeah, forgot about that. It was kind of funny though."

"No it wasn't, because I felt like I had bored you to sleep. Honestly, I didn't even think that was possible. However I feel that with you anything is possible. I don't know how you do it, but you do."

Santana smirks, "What can I say, I'm just that awesome."

"Falling asleep when I'm talking doesn't make you awesome, Santana."

"It totally does, Rach. Besides, it's not like it was rude because you were just talking about fractions. So since you were talking about math, it's only normal that I fell asleep. You should ask my teacher, because I did that once. Plus we had just eaten pizza, which always makes me tired, and you know that."

I laugh, "Yeah, it does. You're like a cute little baby, who needs to nap after it has been fed."

"I'm not cute, I'm sexy."

I just roll my eyes, and Santana continues, "Anyway, why are you being so quiet?"

I point out, "No, I'm not being quiet. I have made plenty of small talk and jokes since I first got here."

"Yeah, but the last ten minutes, it has been me who has done all the talking. Which is like seriously weird. So what's up, Rach?"

"Nothing."

"And what's up with all the short answers? So please just stop lying and tell me what's going on."

"Fine, it's just that I feel like we still don't know each other that well. Plus, it's as if you don't even want to try to get to know me better."

"Of course I want to get to know you, Rach. You're my best friend."

Am I her best friend? This is the kind of process I was hoping for. A smile gets plastered on my face and I reply, "You're my best friend as well."

Before I can say anything else, Santana interrupts me, "I have got an idea. I'll be right back."

She immediately stands up and leaves her own bedroom, leaving me all by myself. What the hell is she up to? The answer to that question was answered a couple of seconds later when she came back with a gorgeous acoustic guitar. I wonder, "Do you play the guitar?"

She chuckles, "No, I just own a guitar which I'm holding right now as if I'm going to play it. While in reality, I just like to pretend to play it." She takes a small pause and continues, "Of course I play the guitar, otherwise I wouldn't be holding one right now."

I bury my head in my hands out of shame. Of course she plays the guitar, if she's holding one like that. However, she never told me and nobody knows that she plays it, so it's only normal that I was surprised. I admit, "Okay, that was a dumb question. But, I didn't know that you played it."

"Well that's because almost nobody does. It's more like something I used to do a lot, now I don't play it that much anymore. When we were younger, Puck and I thought that it was pretty badass to play the guitar. Besides you know that I love music, so for me playing an instrument was an obvious choice."

"Can you play something for me?"

She smirks, "Only if you sing, since I haven't heard you sing and I would really like to. I know how much you love it, when you talk about it. So maybe you could do me the honor of serenading me?"

"I would love that."

**Santana POV**

When I asked Rachel to serenade me this afternoon, I had no idea what to expect. Sure, she's like crazy obsessed with becoming a famous singer and she's part of the school's glee club. Still that doesn't mean anything about her skills; it just means that she's ambitious.

So, when I started playing the melody of 'Teenage dream' by Katy Perry on my guitar, I had no idea whether Rachel would suck at singing or be pretty good at it. However, I did not expect that she would blow my mind the minute she started singing. Seriously, I never got why she was so focused on becoming a famous singer, but now I do. It's because she actually has got the potential to do it. She has a voice that can touch hearts. It was so damn beautiful, powerful and warm. And I want to help Rachel achieve her dream since a voice like hers can't be left unheard.

So anyway, the rest of the afternoon, we kept on practicing. She sang an incredible amount of songs, while I played my guitar. It showed off her incredible voice and her range, while I could show off my guitar skills that I have kept hidden for so long.

Honestly, we had a blast, and we agreed on doing this more often. Maybe we are even going to start writing songs together, since original songs are sort of mandatory if you want to become famous. Not that I'm complaining though, it would be awesome and I'm looking forward to it.

She and I want to kind of jam more often so we agreed that I would bring my acoustic guitar tonight, when we're going to babysit Lily. Seriously that kid has already stolen my heart. I have got no idea why or how, but little children have always been my soft spot. They are cute, and they are so carefree which I truly admire. It's like I feel the need to protect so they can keep their precious innocence as long as possible. Maybe it's because my childhood has been a bit rougher and I needed to grow up faster, which is why I want them to stay little until they are ready to grow up.

Finally I have arrived at Lily's house. Before I can even ring the doorbell, the door opens and Lily swings her arms around me, like she hasn't seen me in years. While in reality it has only been one week since I last saw her, although I won't say no to a hug like that. Once she has nearly squeezed me to death, I notice a very amused looking Rachel standing in the doorway looking at us. I greet her with a small hello and a kiss on the cheek.

The second I get inside, Lily starts rambling, "Hey San, maybe we could make another drawing tonight, like we do every time we get together? Or maybe we could dance, like we did last time? You're really good at dancing. I hope that later when I grow up, I'm going to be a dancer just like you. Would you like to teach me how to dance like you? Will you and Rachel watch 'The Lion King' with me tonight? And will y-"

I make her stop rambling by picking her up and spinning her around while I laugh, "I would love to Lilybear."

Rachel pipes up, "Of course we would love to."

I look at Rachel, and I notice the sparkle in her eyes. I can tell that she has been looking forward to tonight as much as I have which makes me question why she wasn't my friend before Britt and I broke up. Rach is like the best friend I could have hoped for, and I have got no idea what I did to deserve to have someone this kind and perfect in my life.

Like seriously no idea, because even though I'm nice to her when we are alone, I still treat her like crap when we're at school. On moments like this, when I feel the connection between the two of us, the guilt really gets to me. It's not like I haven't talked with Rachel about this, but she insisted on keeping our friendship sort of a secret at school. She doesn't want to ruin my reputation, so I have to keep on insulting her occasionally when we're at school.

Right now, I realize that my friendship with her isn't something that I should have to hide. Rachel deserves to be treated with respect, no matter where we are. Maybe I could even use my reputation to protect Rachel from other people. I feel like such an ass for realizing this way too late, but next Monday I'll start making a change. Right now, I'll just enjoy this night with Rachel and Lily, which shouldn't be hard because I love spending time with the two of them.


	21. It's time for a change

**Quinn POV**

Lately, I have been worrying about the plan Brittany and I worked out to get Santana out of the closet. It's just, I don't get why San hasn't spoken with Brittany yet. I mean come on, it has been almost two months already and I know that Brittany is getting scared that we're losing Santana. Even I'm getting scared that we aren't going to be able to move past this and rekindle our friendship.

Even though I would have expected some results by now, I know that the only reason that our plan is going this slow is because Santana is incredibly stubborn. What other reason could there be?! It's not like Santana is dating someone else, otherwise I would have known that since I'm still her best friend. The only change that I can think of is that she's hanging out more with Berry, at least if I can believe what Puck has told me. Plus I saw them together last week at Tim's party.

However I'm not that worried, because in school Santana still avoids the midget at all costs and she doesn't do anything when somebody else insults her. And that somebody would be me, because Puck pointed out to me that I should be there for Santana like Berry, who is trying to be friends with Santana. I don't think that she's succeeding, but you never know. So that's why I'm making more fun of her now, and she has become my number one target.

Anyway right now I'm sitting in math class, and I notice that San is sitting next to the midget. That's odd because they never sit next to each other. Normally Santana sits next to Puck or next to me, but not next to that loser. So maybe Puck didn't lie about them hanging out together all the time. I should probably check that after school, because I don't want that hobbit to screw up the plan that Brittany and I made.

I don't think that Berry knows about the break-up, but if she does then she could seriously mess up our plan. She could give Santana advice or tell her to move on, and that's not what's supposed to happen. But I shouldn't get ahead of myself, she probably knows nothing and Santana isn't really a talker when it comes to her feelings. So I think we're safe, but I really need to keep an eye on that.

Before I can continue thinking about other possible ways this plan could work out, I hear the bell ring. I'm waiting for Santana to head out together, because we have cheerleading practice. When I step back into the classroom – to see what's taking her so long – I notice something odd. She's talking to Berry, and it must have been something funny because that troll is giggling like a fucking retard. I hate Berry so damn much, first she tries to steal my boyfriend and now she's trying to steal my best friend, who the hell does she think she is?!

**Santana POV**

Convincing Rach to come with me to my cheerleading practice wasn't easy. But like always I used my incredible Lopez-charm, which made her give in. Of course, I know that she doesn't like to be surrounded by all of the cheerleaders, since those are the ones who are the cruelest to her in school and torment her on a daily basis. But that's going to change from now on, and that's why I needed her to come with me.

I need her to be there when I tell my squad that Rachel's off the list and that she needs to be treated like one of us. Plus if there are some people who can't accept that, then I'm kicking them off the team. I don't need bitches on my squad; I need loyal cheerleaders who follow their leader without questioning everything I do or order.

I look to my right, and I notice that Berry is extremely nervous at the moment. She's fumbling with her hands, and I can feel that her guard's up. Today that's going to end, because I want my best friend to feel safe all the damn time. She shouldn't have to pull her walls back up, because Rach is such a good person and she doesn't deserve to be treated like she's horrible. Just because she isn't a cheerleader doesn't mean that she isn't beautiful or isn't talented. I try to calm her down by holding her hand in mine, and she interlaces our fingers. Somehow it feels natural holding her hand in mine, and I enjoy it. Maybe I like it more than I should, but I don't really question it because it feels right.

When I look to my left, I see a very pissed looking Quinn. Seriously, she's giving Rach all kinds of death glares. But I give Quinn an equally threatening look that tells her that she needs to back off, and luckily for her she does.

When we reach the field, where we practice five times a week, I notice that all my cheerleaders are already there. Even Brittany's already there, and she's giving me this sad look, which makes my heart ache. Honestly, it hurts me to see her as well, and I know that she wants to talk to me but I can't. That would hurt too freaking much, even though I know that I can't avoid her forever. I'm just not ready yet for a confrontation.

Anyway, since everybody's waiting for my instructions, I decide to start my little speech, "Okay, everybody listen up, because I have something important to say to all of you. Most of you are probably wondering why I brought Berry with me today, aren't you?"

I take a deep breath and see everybody nodding their heads, and giving Rachel confused or angry looks. And Rach just looks at me with pleading eyes, because even she doesn't know what she is doing here, surrounded by the people she fears. She looks at me, to avoid the gazes from the others, and I continue my little speech, "That's what I thought. Well, she's here because she's one of us. No matter what you think or have heard, she isn't a loser. In fact, she's pretty damn awesome."

There are all kinds of reactions; most of them are pretty negative. I hear a few gasps, but I ignore them and go on with my little speech, "As I was saying, she's one of us and deserves to be treated like that. Rachel is in my after-school dance class, like some of you know, and I can tell you that she's an excellent dancer. So just because she isn't a cheerleader, doesn't mean that she hasn't got any moves. And if some of you doubt that, then we would do a dance battle, Berry and I against anyone who thinks that she can dance better than us. Any volunteers?"

Everybody starts shaking their heads; even Quinn is shaking her head in defeat. Even though I know that deep down Q really hates Rachel. But I don't care because Rach is my friend and Q will just have to accept that.

Some of them gulp, and I know that they won't start rebelling. I kind of feared that they would all work together and stand up to me, but they didn't and I'm grateful for that. Because without my spot as head cheerleader, I would lose all my popularity and my reputation. Therefore I wouldn't have any social power at our school, which I need if I want to protect my friends. High school is a cruel place, and I need this reputation to survive it.

Anyway, I continue my little monologue, "That's right, none of you would be able to beat me and Rachel, and you'd better remember that!"

Before I can continue, Stacey interrupts me, "Yeah, we couldn't beat the two of you together because you would dance with her. Me against her wouldn't even be a fair fight; it would be a piece of cake for me."

Some of the other cheerleaders are nodding their head in agreement, which pisses me off big time. I snap, "I wouldn't be too sure of that. But because of your big mouth, you can leave. And when I say leave, I mean don't come back. You're off the squad, Blondie!"

Stacey starts getting tears in her eyes, but I don't care. I have wanted to get back at her for kissing Brittany when we were still together (even though she didn't know that). So she had it coming a long time ago. She yells, "What?! You can't do this?"

"Newsflash, yes I can. Tough luck, that I'm the captain of this cheerleading squad. Now go! Or do I need to humiliate you some more, before you actually get the point."

And just like that she's gone with the wind. All the other cheerleaders are looking at me in pure shock and fear, terrified that I will do the same to them if they don't listen to me. Only, when I notice Quinn, Brittany and Rachel looking at me like they're disappointed, I start feeling bad. Especially Rach, because she has got such a pure heart and I never meant to be a bitch to anyone in front of her, because I know how much she hates that. But now, I can't take it back anymore. I guess, I'll make it up to her after school. God I'm so whipped and we're not even dating or anything.

I sigh, "Sorry, you guys, but we're a team and people that can't accept that the others are equals, have to leave. So try not to make the same mistake as Stacey, and you will keep your spot on the team. Am I making myself clear?"

The whole group nods in agreement and I decide to say what I had originally planned on saying, "Okay, what I actually meant to say earlier was that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I have been such a bitch to most of you. But I have been an even bigger bitch at school to people who we call losers, nerds, outsiders, just because they aren't jocks or cheerleaders. And that was wrong, I realize that now."

I take a small pause, and when I notice that everybody is listening carefully, I continue, "Over the last few weeks, I have had a hard time for some personal reasons and for some reason, Rach was the one who helped me through it. We have all put her through so much crap; I even let it happen when she already was my friend. And I hate myself for that, so I'm going to make a change. We're all going to do that, and start treating Rach the way she deserves to be treated. When we say degrading things to people, sometimes we cross a line and really hurt that person. Sometimes, you even scar them for life and I don't want to be a person who does that anymore. Yes, there will be days that I'm still a bitch, but Rome wasn't built in one day. So I expect all of you, to at least try and make a change. That's it, that's all I wanted to say. So now, everybody can run two miles as a warm-up and then we can officially start this practice."

I look to my right, and I see that Rach is about to cry. But before I can even ask her what's wrong, she pulls me into a tight hug and thanks me for standing up for her. You can't believe the weight that has been lifted off my shoulders, knowing that Rachel has started to forgive me for all my mistakes. She told me that she forgave me a while ago, but I can only start feeling better about this if I really make a change like this and try to fix them.

When I pull back from the embrace, I notice Quinn's death glare into the back of Rachel's head and I also see the way Brittany's looking at me. She looks so broken, and I can tell that she misses us as well. Maybe, she just misses being best friends, because we have always known each other and have been inseparable. But now I haven't talked to her for weeks, and it's killing both of us. Talking about it could help, but I'm still not ready for that. Only time will be able to help me, but now the wound is still too fresh.

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews!**


	22. Replacing me

**Rachel POV**

Words can simply not describe how happy I was after Santana's speech today. Not only did she apologize to me again, but this time she did it in front of the whole cheerleading squad. Of course she didn't have to apologize again, but by doing it twice she shows me that she truly means it. Not that I thought that it wasn't sincere the first time, but it's still nice to get reassured that San really wants to leave the past behind and restart as friends or perhaps even more than friends. Okay, I shouldn't get ahead of myself, but I've noticed her getting more and more affectionate with me and that should mean something right. I mean , come on, Santana doesn't hold hands with people that often, still she has hold mine a couple of times. I wonder if it made her heart beat faster, because mine certainly did.

The best part of San's little speech was when she told everyone that we're friends and that there is nothing that they can do about it. Because that means that she's actually proud of being my friend, and I can't help how happy that makes me feel. I have been in love with her for a while now, even though we were anything but friends at the time, and now I can finally see our relationship moving forward. A couple of months ago I was a nobody, a loser and an outcast, and I felt like I didn't fit in.

Honestly, I was unhappy and kind of lost. You'd be surprised how hard it is to try and pretend that nothing hurts you, when you constantly get bullied at school. However, ever since San became my friend I feel like I finally belong. Seriously, you cannot believe how much I have been longing to be at least a part of her life and now, I finally am. Every doubt that was still there has been washed away. Moreover the fact that San has announced that she's proud of being my friend proofs that she cares about me. Perhaps she cares more about me than she's willing to admit.

Even though Santana won't say it out loud, I know deep down that she loves me. Of course, I don't mean that San is in love with me. I mean that she loves me as just a friend, but it still is a big deal. Or at least it is a big deal for me, because now I know that there actually is a chance that one day Santana will feel the same way as I feel about her now.

Right now, she's my best friend and I know that I'm one of her best friends or at least a very good friend. I see it in the way her attitude towards me has changed and in the way she tries to protect me. And I know that she only protects people she cares about, only her friends and family. Also, she used to do whatever she felt like doing, but now San mostly asks my opinion first. Apparently she does that because she doesn't want to do anything stupid that could possibly hurt my feelings. San doesn't want to do anything that could possibly mess up our friendship because it means too much to her. You have to admit, that's pretty sweet of her.

However, I can't stop thinking about Quinn's reaction to Santana's speech. During the whole thing Quinn kept on giving me her famous death glares, and honestly they freaked me out a little bit. They made me feel really uncomfortable, and kind of worried. Everybody in school knows that Quinn Fabray isn't someone you should mess with. Once you get into an argument or a fight with her, you will beg for her forgiveness because her revenge is not something you want to experience. So I'm afraid that she didn't take the news of San and me being friends very well. This means Quinn probably hates my guts, even more than she did before and that's saying something.

But what did Quinn expect, that Santana wouldn't make any new friends just because she and Brittany stopped being her friend. Maybe they're still friends, but not like they were before. San doesn't speak to Brittany anymore, and she only sees Quinn in school. The three of them used to hang out together all the time, but because of this messy break-up they kind of ruined their friendship as well.

Quinn has no right to be mad about that, she can't control what Santana does and with whom she wants to be friends. If Quinn decides to only stay close to Brittany after the break-up, then she can't expect Santana to wait until she wants to hang out with her again. San isn't some kind of toy that you can toss aside and neglect for some time, until you're ready to play with it again. She can't expect that there wouldn't be any consequences when she let down her own best friend.

I mean come on; Quinn must have known that Santana wasn't going to wait forever to be her best friend again. Or maybe she thought that Santana wouldn't make any new friends because she hates letting her walls down, which makes it harder to make new friends. But still, Quinn must have known that there'd a ton of other people who would love to be Santana's friend. She's popular, beautiful and she protects the ones she loves, what's there not to love about San?! Okay, maybe I'm a little biased, but still everyone'd love to be friends with Santana.

Sure, Santana tries to scare them away, because she claims that she doesn't need anybody or at least not one of those 'losers'. But only a few people know that she just tries to push them away because she doesn't want to get hurt. No matter how hard she tries to hide that she isn't always a bitch and has a softer side that she rarely shows, when you open your eyes and really try to understand her then you will see it.

Moreover, when you power through and don't let Santana scare you away, like me, then you will be able to become her friend. Besides I know that everybody wants and needs a friend like San, and I'm pretty sure that Quinn realizes that as well. She was lucky the first time she was able to become friends with San, and I don't know if Santana is ready to forgive Quinn for abandoning her yet. It's not because her two best friends broke up that she should have picked one and dumped the other, they could just as well have stayed friends.

**Brittany POV**

Quinn and I are driving to Rachel's home after our cheerleading practice, which Rachel partly attended. But after Santana's speech, she went straight home. I can't help but feel incredibly jealous whenever I see those two together. Rachel has been able to become really close to San in so little time, I see it every time they share a look. Obviously San used to avoid Rachel in school, but I still noticed the little changes in her behavior towards Rachel. How could I not notice them? I've been in love with San for as long as I can remember, I know her like the back of my hand.

Honestly, I don't know what to think about their newfound friendship. At first I thought it was innocent, but now I'm not to sure about that anymore. Santana's speech today blew me out of the water, because it showed me how deeply she cares for Rachel. San protected her in front of all the cheerleaders for crying out loud. This is so unlike her, and it terrifies me. This could have hurt her popularity, but still she took that risk for Rachel. It's almost as if she cares more about Rachel than me. I know that I'm talking crazy right now, because San loves me. San is still in love with me, she has to be. I need her to be still in love with me.

Ugh, I can't wait for this horrible plan to finally work. I want Santana back in my arms before she's able to replace me. Maybe it's stupid, but I feel as if Rachel is slowly taking my place. That's probably crazy talk, but still part of me feels as if I should be worried about their friendship. Honestly, they've gotten way too close for my liking and Rachel should back off. Obviously they're allowed to be friends, but Rachel shouldn't even think of taking my place as San's best friend. I'll always be Santana's best friend, and soon I'll be her girlfriend again. Anyway, I hope that that's going to happen soon. I knew that this plan was going to ask some time and patience; however I kind of underestimated it.

Seriously, I really don't know what to think about this situation. But I do know that Santana becoming close friends with Rachel was not part of the plan that Quinn had originally invented. Plus, even though Q keeps on reassuring me that everything will work out, I know that she's not sure about that anymore lately. I can practically feel her stress out all of the time, she probably thought that Santana and I would have been together again by now. So every time I ask her about it, she keeps on finding other possible reasons why this is going so slow or why San is still avoiding us. But I'm not stupid, and I know that Quinn is practically clueless.

Apparently she thinks that Rachel is one of the main reasons that San and I aren't back together yet. I don't know if that's one hundred percent true, but I do know that I don't like their friendship. I don't care what Rachel's intentions are with San, I don't want them to be friends because quite frankly I don't like the way that she's changing Santana.

I mean come on, how the hell would you explain today's little monologue otherwise. Santana isn't the kind of person to apologize in public or show her emotions in front of everybody. I used to be the only one who could really tear down all of her walls and make her talk about her feelings. So San's speech made me feel like she's starting to replace me with Rachel.

I don't mean that she's searching for a new girlfriend because I know that Santana is still in love with me, but I feel like Rachel is becoming her best friend. Furthermore it kills me to know that she's starting to move on, I want to be her best friend again as soon as possible.

I don't want to think about this anymore because we have finally arrived at Rachel's house, which looks more like a mansion. I look over at Quinn, and I notice that she's pretty nervous. So am I, because if this confrontation with Rachel goes wrong, then this could have some serious consequences. This could possibly push Santana even more away from us, and we can already feel her slipping away.

Quinn squeezes my hand, to let me know that everything is going to be okay, before she rings the doorbell. After about two minutes, Rachel finally opens the door.

**A/N: Quick question: someone suggested to let Rachel become a Cheerio since there's a spot available, what do you guys think about that? Cheerio!Rachel, yes or no?**


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